Two in a row!

Hi there...
TGIF! I am soooo tired- I dont know how yall ladies with children plural do it. I only have one and it is like- go to bed already so I can!
So tonight Wonder Woman, Frenchie and I went to PV for dinner and a drinkie. Yummmmm- I had been craving those enchiladas for over a week now! I have the worlds best friends. I hope I am as good of a friend to them as they are to me :)
So I like someone. Yeah, big deal, I have ever since I met him over a year ago but it has just been the last 6 months or so that I was really really romantically interested in this person. So I dont technically work with this person but I do work near him... and it makes me wish I could go to work every day. I do not look forward to the weekends because I miss him. So I will give myself till the last day of May for something to either move forward or end. I have thought about this before and ugh I dont know if I can stick to it but I am going to try. Wish me luck... and get ready to read about either a very happy or a very sad me in blogs to come. It is temporary, self!
Have a great weekend...

and now May...

How are you?
I am doing the same ole stuff... loving my lame job, loving my badass friends, wishing the M's better skills, and wondering why my house is not on autoclean.
Here is whats new with me/us:
1. I got a new laptop! I love it, although Vista SUCKS! This was a bday oresent from my folks and I am very excited as I will finally be able to write the book I have been promising Korin for years. How will I write a book when I cant even blog more than once in a month? Hmmm good question, readers (are there any of you left even???)
2. I made my first coconut cream pie and everyone really liked it :) I only started one small fire trying to properly toast coconut for the topping, but it was easy to throw away and start over.
3. KK is in baseball. She is doing really well and loves it. She is not afraid to compete against and play with the boys. She is a fighter! i am so proud.
4. My control freak ass got to run the company while the bosses were in Chicago for a week. I had so much fun! Cant say the same for anyone else... but it was so relaxing to actually have a handle on things, and I think people had a good time :) hey it was a short vaca for us too, give us a break!

So what is NOT new with me?
1. School- still in it, still passing both classes by the skin of my teeth- please keep wishing luck upon me as I try to pass English!
2. Love life- still not seeing anyone, still hoping for a chance with the friend I have a thing for, we will see what happens.

hey- if you are out there and still read me, let me know!

It's April now

Not much to say.
I did pick three out of the final four contestants on Make Me a Supermodel, as you can see if you look back a couple months posts. Go me. Holly won that show. I hope she learns how to speak in public because she is a gorgeous model. I would hate to have my reputation decline every time I opened my mouth.
So I am crushing hard on this one guy and don't have the guts to say anything to him but man it makes it really hard to concentrate or get anything done over the majority of my week. I am waiting to see if it wears off or if eventually I open my stupid mouth and ruin a friendship.
Baseball season is upon us and this morning was spent beautifying kk's home field. Ha I put more work into that thing in a day than I put into my whole yard all Spring. Shoveling, sweeping, weedwhacking, weeding, trimming, hacking, and getting rained on. Feels good :)
So what's up with you?

sparks

Are sparks necessary?
You know, that feeling in your stomach when you look at someone or remember certain happenings and you feel like you are going to puke, but in a good way? Well that is how it feels for me sometimes.
What I am wondering is whether a nice, stable, dependable and still passion-filled relationship is enough, or if there has to be sparks. The thing about sparks is that they usually don't care about dependability, fidelity, or stability. They are jsut either there or they aren't. That may be what my failed relationships had in common- plenty of spark and no common sense.
I don't want to grow old with someone who I simply have a spark with. I want a healthy, devoted, best-friend type with whom I can also have awesome sex.
I know that I need to lead with my head, and be able to follow with my heart, but I am having trouble knowing whether a little bit of spark can sustain a relationship, or if it is failed from the start.
What are your guys' experiences with spark and it's necessity for long-term?

I am a little behind

in posting anything about any men in my life. Mostly there has been nothing going on there, but I did meet a great guy a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately he lives in Nebraska. I met him when he was here visiting family. He is such a good guy that if he was here I would definitely bring the A-game to that situation.
After two wonderful days together and a depressing week beating myself up about why do I do this to myself, I still have no good answer. Is it better to have a great experience and then miss the person I had it with, or is it better to not meet people at all unless somehow I can know ahead of time that they are mentally and physically available to attempt a friendship-growing-into-more thing?
Blah. So I end up missing this guy and just being mad at myself. Yes I am glad I made a new friend. No I am not glad that I know there is one more great guy out there that is not for me.
In other news, I have a cold and I am in charge of inventory again tomorrow. So I have to make sure I find my Aleve Cold and Sinus because, in case you have forgotten from 140 posts ago, it is one of God's blessings to the Earth.
Wish me luck... at finding the Aleve, at having a good inventory, and at not worrying about love.

My new addition

OK I started typing this post February 20th but am finishing it today:

Here is what I did today:


So this is my first tattoo. There is a story behind it but I don't have time to write that right now as I am doing the mom thing of laundry, looking up a doctor online, making a snack for kk and two friends, texting a new person, and wearing in my new Marc Fishers with the 4.5inch heels.

Crock Pot

So I got one. I suppose now I am to cook in it, or with it, ro whatever the correct verb is there.
What I need from you guys is a good recipe or two to try it out and see how exactly this thing goes down. Yes, it came with a cookbook, but the recipes I have seen so far are either a million ingredients, or putting meatballs and bbq sauce in and 8 hours later you have meatballs with bbq sauce.
Any good ones?

I was in the paper

but it was a long long time ago. Not often do I get recognized for something in my professional life. I think the only other big achievement of my career thus far was not getting shot during as armed robbery.
Read if you would like... the link is here mostly for preservation :P

http://kpbj.com/report/articles/2005-03-03-RPT-08.html

I forgot to brag

Kk was sent home with two forms the other day- one was a questionnaire for me to fill out pertaining to the second form. The second form was a permission slip for kk to be tested for her school district's gifted program. I am so proud that they honored my daughter with the chance to be tested! Like mother, like daughter! :D
When I took the forms out of her bag and asked her how many kids in her class got them, I asked somewhat sternly so she would answer honestly. She said two. So only two out of 27 kids in her class (I know, 27, it's horrible!!!) were asked to test.
Way to go KK! Good luck testing!

Plane Tickets

We bought our plane tickets to AZ/LV today- We are going in june after school gets out. how exciting! I wonder which fish will die while we are gone this time.
I will have to make sure that my school is out by then. I know unless we have a bunch of school days between now and then, we will be able to go no problem. Whoopee!
Don't you think they should sell a Vanilla Ding Dong? Just like the chocolate one, only with white cake and vanilla frosting and coating instead?
Someone do it. Make it happen. I won't even be upset that you stole my idea. Just give me some free ones and we can call it even.
So today is the first day that we go to an 8am-4pm flat schedule at work. I am not happy about it but I am not the boss so I have no say in the matter. If I don't like it that much, I can leave. The downside is I think I might fail at whether I can do my job or not, and I really don't want to fail, because I KNOW that under the right circumstances, I can do the job, no problem. Unfortunately, the right circumstances include a couple pretty significant staffing changes, which are also not up to me. Sigh.
Anywho, I do look forward to being off at a certin time every day. My daycare bill might even go down. No more leaving the house by 545am. The earliest I will ever have to leave is 730. I am grasping for a silver lining here.
I am thankful and fortunate to be physically and mentally healthy enough to work, and I realize my fortune at being able to do something I love, even if it will no longer allow me financial security. It was a nice month and a half though!

congratulations

Morgan and Tony got engaged today, on Morgan's lucky bday! Yay! I love these two together. Hope it lasts forever!!!

Would you ever get plastic surgery?

Have you ever? I have not gotten any appearance-altering surgery. I did have a nose job but that was all on the inside of me and I didn't notice any change in how I looked.
I think I would rather look exactly how God intended me to look. Yes I would like the flab on my ass gone. Yes I would love to have a cute nose and a flat tummy and my perfect in every way 18yr old boobs back. I think I look alright, even if I am not the exact idea of what society's males think a woman should look like, and I think I will never have plastic surgery. there are plenty of size 2 girls who wish they were pretty like me.
A girl in our China office told me recently "There is no such thing as ugly woman, only lazy woman." I pretty much agree with that.If you put enough effort into it, almost anyone can be pretty. But I would rather be happy.
And if it came between sleeping in for an hour, and getting up to spend an hour putting my face on, well, I think you can guess where I stand. In related news, putting mascara on while driving is just as easy as putting it on standing in front of a mirror. And it saves time :) But put your coffee down first.

And now for something that makes me laugh...

I stole this from a blog I read. The more hearts it touches- the better :P

Grand Canyon

So my mom called today and regurgitated an idea back to me that I had a month or so ago about taking a trip to the Grand Canyon. Referencing a prior post about wanting to take kk to a bunch of places before she gets much older, my mom suggested that they drive down there and kk and I fly down there and we meet at the airport and go to the Grand Canyon. It sounds great. Now the challenge is going to be affording this. But by then, I will have a week of paid vacation I can and should take, and a week down there would allow me a couple days to go to vegas. Now if only I had a friend who would want to go to vegas with me for two or three days...
So yay- I love travelling, and this way everyone wins- we won't have to rent a car down there because my parents will already be there, it sounds like so much fun. So I can't wait to do my taxes and find out if I will really be able to afford this.
If you have been to the Grand Canyon and/or Vegas and have any travel tips, please comment them to me. Thanks!
Off to check airfare!

Oh yeah I forgot

We went up to Hurricane Ridge in Port Angeles today to take kk skiing for the first time.

We left the house at 11am and finally got up there shortly after 2, jsut to find out that the road to the top, which had been open when I called before we left, was now closed. Big bummer.

So we drove back down to the bottom of the hill, bought a sled, and drove until as far as we could without running into the closed gate. Had a Ton of fun. We found out kk wants to snowboard, not ski. So now the quest begins to find cheap snowboard stuff online. We had a really fun day.

her is a pic of her in the snow. I am not sure if you can see her badass brown and pink plaid snowboard pants, but they are hella cute!

here are a couple more pics:

kk int he snow again-

and me on our way down with Vancouver Island in the background. It's kind of hard to see but from the sky down, it is clouds, clear sky, Canadian mountains, the Strait of Juan de Fuca, and the town of Port Angeles. What a vantage point!-

Overwhelming Emotion

I am not a big fan of overwhelming emotion. Especially when the emotions have such negative connotivity. I am having one of those nights.
I keep hating kk's dad. I am so uncomfortable with hatred. It only comes naturally to me in this one instance. I can see how black it makes my heart and I want it gone. I keep asking God to take it away and make it His problem, not mine, because I know that all He wants me to do is ask for His help. But it doesn't go away. I know that things don't happen on my timeline, they happen on God's, so I am not mad at God for leaving me with this darkness in my soul about this matter. I just want it gone.
Another Christmas and birthday come and gone with no communication. He knows how to get ahold of us. I have always encouraged him to communicate with kk, until the last time he did it, and I have never and will never stand in the way of the two of them having the relationship she deserves to have with a dad.
Maybe it never bothered me because my dad has always been around, and he is such a wonderful example of how good men can be, and what they are supposed to do and how they should act. But now that they have moved I have no males to spend time with her and I fear so badly that she will grow up with a skewed view of how important a male's opinion is. I have already seen it with her- and it makes my skin crawl!
I know as far as single moms go, I am one of the better ones. I dont take financial aid of any kind for her, I talk to her all the time about everything, and I try really hard to do guy things with her like teach her about football, or have burping contests, or whatever. But I can't do it all, and I can't replace a dad.
I know how important my dad is to me, and it breaks my heart that kk doesn't have that. I also know how important her dad's dad is to him, which is why I can't understand why he would take that away from his own child.
I have so many questions and no answers and the rage I have about just this one issue eats me up inside. I hate feeling this way. I don't think about it often, but every once in a while something will happen and I have to emote this or it will turn me into a completely negative person.
I jsut hate him, hate the situation, hate wishing he was dead, hate the person it makes me, and I am glad it is not all-consuming. I just distract myself out of it most of the time.
Thanks for listening.

The Jonas Brothers

In case you want to see the band I have been talking about lately and that I bought kk tickets to the concert for, they are going to be on Jay Leno tonight, and also on Ellen on ummm Monday the 21st I believe. Check 'em out!
That is all for tonight- later gaters :)

Birthday Expenditures

Wow. The money flows like the Humptulips River around kk's birthday time. Gift, tablecloth, table, chairs, balloons (crap I forgot those,) streamers, cake, cake decorations, goody bag bags, goody bag presents, music to dance to, food to eat, soda to drink.
Beads to make party favors, regular ones and special ones, invitations, snacks for the grown-ups, games to play.
That is for the kids party. The family party is tacos on Saturday and I always forget onions and jalapenois because I dont eat them! I have to make such a list for tacos.
So I get to buy all this, PLUS I am sure a ton of stuff I jsut cant recall right now. And I can celebrate not having any money left by cleaning my house for strangers I may not even like!

Thank you, God, for making birthdays only once a year!!!!!!

blah

yeah all I am doing these days is working, eating, sleeping, and showering. I am glad that I actually like my job when I stay late. I have had to stay alte at jobs before where the minutes jsut ticked by soooo slooooowly. But not this one- there is always a million things to do. Even when I complain about it, I love the change that is always going on.
I have a lot to do still- switch out the laundry, straighten my bangs, ezt some nachos and watch the real world sydney reunion special. better get back to my busy busy night!
Peace out, home slices.

american idol starts again today

I wish it was on from 7-8 or something like that so kk and I could watch it together without it interfering with bedtime. I jsut think kids need to take their grumpy butts to bed and that family programming shouldnt try to last until 10pm. But I am probably wrong about it being family programming; they are after the 18-49 age group. Oh well- it is mindless entertainment. I should really read more, that should have been a resolution of mine. Maybe next year.
Here I am typing with only one contact in again because my eye is being a pain. So that is it for tonight. Maybe I will have interesting stories down the road... but it's okay if I don't! That means my life is drama-free... which is how I want it. :)

So I joined match.com

and see a couple of nice options on there, but haven't connected with anyone but one guy. I saw someone saturday night that I have known for going on a year and a half now, which isnt too terribly long, but even they noticed a change in my confidence level when it comes to guys. It is down!!! I just dont know what to do anymore to not let it bother me. It sucks. I think I am having a PMS day today because it is really really getting to me to be here by myself. Who knows- with today's depression and Saturday's paranoia, I may be documenting my slow decline into some strange, not yet diagnosed mental state.
My mom was mentally ill for a long time but it came on really suddenly with her, so any time I am not like myself I start to get extra worried wondering if this is the time I go crazy like she did. It is very disturbing. I don't see any manic behavior anymore, but I know I used to have it, so maybe I am bipolar in long waves, instead of short. That would definitely explain my newfound ability to save money and not spend it.
I am so glad I believe in God. I know for sure I would be a basket case if I didn't have Him to put all my worries on. I know He never lets me be completely alone. I know He has big plans for me and it is up to me to trust Him and whatever crazy steps it takes to get to my big plans. i think I will just go to bed and pray to feel better.

Wow this post is a little all over the place.

Paranoia

ruined my night out on Saturday. It was the weirdest thing as I am not normally paranoid. But I couldn't shake the feeling like something bad was going to happen and I had no clue what. So I became the world's worst passenger thinking every car was going to hit us, and when T dropped me off at my car I checked the far back and all the windows and my secret hiding spots to make sure everything was in order. I kinda freaked out all the way to K's house just feeling like I needed to get somewhere and once I was settled and off the road, everything would be fine. And it was! It was just a sucky feeling to be suspicious of everything. I am glad I am not normally like that.
Now to sleep to make up for my wacky weekend schedule.

Today's results...

All I will say about it is this: Any game that starts off that well is destined to end horribly.

In other news- We stood in the cold wet SNOW for nearly 4 hours but ended up with 16th row tickets. Yay for us! I am finally warm again, 7 hours after being able to come inside from the cold. So while we were standing in line after not getting lotery bracelets, after having people walk past and say that they were sold out, or out of bracelets etc., I had my mom call and get us some over the phone- which were kinda crappy, kinda decent seats (hey, something is better than nothing!!!) so we have two extra tickets. So if anyone knows anybody who wants to go to the Jonas Brothers concert in Everett Feb 5th, I have two seats available. I will sell them at face value if it is to someone who is a friend or a friend of a friend, or even an acquaintance of a friend. They are inexpensive enough I dont need to make a profit off of them. If I cant sell them for face value then I will probably jsut take two friends for free. I am so excited!!!!!
I am so proud of kk for not complaining. It was soooo cold, we were hungry, thirsty, had to pee, and all throughout she was a trooper. It's these little life lessons, like the worth of deviting a snowy saturday morning that helps teach her that some things you really have to work for, even if it is such a non-necessity like concert tickets.
Besides the unfortunate event mentioned in line one of this post, it is an awesome day so far!!! KNOCK ON WOOD.

kk's nails

My name is Leslie, and I am a nail-biter. (Hi, Leslie)
I have always bitten my nails and have tried lots of things to stop, but it seems to always boil down to the point that I forget I am trying to stop and notice towards the end of biting off whatever progress I have made that dang- I did it again!
It has been very frustrating and I have pretty much accepted the fact that I am a nail biter and that really there are bigger things to worry about than trying not to bite my nails.
Anyways- my daughter happens to have beautiful, strong, naturally shaped nails and she is NOT a biter. Yay! So when we went over to my parents for Christmas, I treated her to her first real manicure at the Butter London salon at the airport. She immediately chose the brightest, reddest red polish they can find, it's official name is Go To Bed Red (nice, right?) which is her usual choice when I do her nails too. But then the manicurist asked her if she wanted sparkles, so she chose gold sparkles to go under her bright red. They looked so pretty. So that manicure lasted until this week when her nails started looking pretty ratty again, so now they are a glossy watery green-blue.
I am so glad she doesn't bite her nails.

Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel

My top picks for the guys are Perry and Ben, with Perry finishing first. For girls is Holly and Sarah, with Holly finishing first. That's all on that.
In other musings, today I hated my job. Alot. Like tons and tons. Like enough to take all my personal belongings home.
In unrelated news, I went tanning at lunch and burnt myself on 12 minutes. Ugh- will I ever learn? Well, obviously i learned something because I had the aloe vera gel on standby.
More tomorrow perhaps...

Plans for Saturday

So kk and I are going to get up early enough to leave the house at 5:40am, to catch the Kingston-Edmonds ferry at 6:25am, and get to Everett at 7:30 to stand in line for a bracelet to maybe get front 20 row tickets to see the Jonas Brothers in concert in February for kk's bday. I wouldn't do this if I wasn't a fan myself. Well, maybe I would, but we will never know because I happen to be a fan. I hope there are not a ton of people there before us. I am excited!!! Kk doesnt know. I will let her sleep in the car and tell her we are going to breakfast or something.
I will let you know how it turns out.
Today we went and ordered kk's bday party invitations. She is having a Hannah Montana bday party, so if any of you have any ideas for games or activities, let me know. I have to pick out some cool cake- I have had a personal cake done for her every year and I am not about to stop now? If you look at last February's post you can see last year's Barbie pool party cake. Yes, I will more than likely make two trips to Gig Harbor from here just to get the cake ordered, then again to pick it up the day of the party. I'm sure they will do a microphone cake. Again- throw ideas at me if you have them, and I will post pictures after the celebration, which isnt for a while still.

My left eye

has really been hurting lately. It always feels not quite like there is something in it, but rather that my contact is dirty and annoying my eyeball. I clean and clean and clean my contact but it keeps getting dirty. This is only one week into an extended wear, night-and-day contact. OW!
Its making me crabby- and with not sleeping well my eyes are tired anyways.
That's all I have to say for today.
Oh, except that my mom emailed me and at the top she meant to put Honey, but instead she put Homey,. That gave me a good laugh.

My daughter is getting older...

...and I feel this overwhelming pressure to get as much quality time in before the teenage years come ruin everything. I remember going with my parents on a two-week California adventure when I was 9 and being completely mortified by their presence at most of the places we went.
I keep thinking of adventures I want to take her on but everything costs so much money so I am going to have to make a little goal that is actually achievable.
I want to take her to Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, China, on a cruise... I have always lived my life that yes, things are nice, but I want the intangible experiences of life more than I want the trinkets that come along with life, and I want that for my daughter too.
Lots to think about. Can't she just stay 7 or 8 for a couple more years?

It only took 5 days

for me to blow one of my resolutions- the one to blog every day! I'm sure that is not a new record, but I still thought I would last longer than that! Oh well, time to get back on the wagon.
Great weekend for football, wasn't it? Lots of big plays and big wins. Go Hawks!
So what did you do this weekend? I shopped, ate, napped, went to work for a bit, went out by myself Saturday night, drunk-texted, told a waiter he needed to move us before I punched a lady in the teeth, and cleaned the house. Typical weekend. Oh yeah, we also took the Christmas tree down. Wow, cleaning up Christmas goes so much more quickly when my daughter has three friends over! hahaha Little slaves, they are!
So anyways, I thought I would share with you some of the lovely things I have acquired lately, between Christmas and just spoiling myself. No wonder this shopaholic is always broke.
Here is a watch I bought myself when I got my promotion. It slides around like a bracelet and sparkles like diamonds, but the stones are not diamonds, they are crystals, which combine with the dial to power the sun through solar energy. Sweet, right?
Here is a ring my mommy bought me because she loves me. For some reason she made the point that it wasn't for Christmas when she bought it for me at Thanksgiving. So I am jsut assuming it is because she loves me.
Speaking of love, here is a truck she bought my dad. I think he had it for ummmm 6 weeks before he got in an accident which took a big chunk out of the front end. Nice, huh? Thank God for car insurance.
Here is my current snack food of choice. I seem to go through some sort of withdrawl when I don't have any for a while. Like my body is resetting itself to NOT be loaded down with too much sodium! :P
Here is not a picture of my new vest. I couldn't find a pic, so I will jsut tell you about it. It is black and a puffy down vest, but not overly puffy like the marshmallow man, and it has a hood that is fur (polyester fake fur)-trimmed. I wanted it for the longest time, but it was $210 and that is too much for anybody to pay for a vest, IMHO. So I only paid $84 for it at Macy's one day sale over the weekend. Booyah, suckers!
Here are my new Coach shoes (only mine are not shown- they are shiny black logo print over matte black)and my new Roxy shoes (only mine are black with a white toe). Also on sale. Very comfy. And pretty. And mine!
Here is a D&G bag I really want but will never be able to afford. They had it at Nordstrom in a variety of colors. It is called the Miss Bye Bye bag, which is funny because I was going to use it as a carry-on when I go see my folks or if I ever get adveturous and go anywhere else. I would love it in white, but the orange is pretty fierce, too.
Here is the Coach purse for daily use I also want really bad and also will never be able to afford. I want the blue one. It's so pretty. Sigh.
Ah. Now I can go to bed happy thinking about all the wonderful things I have. Oh yeah, my daughter and my health, too. LOL joking!

Cool Mom Points

I earned some major cool mom points today with kk. When I picked her up from daycare, I asked her where she wanted to go for dinner. She said Seattle (which was not really an option, but she is an original thinker.) So I said okay, much to her surprise (and my own!) and we drove down to the dock, got a Starbucks, and hopped on the ferry for the hour-long ride into downtown. I didn't really have a plan but sometimes that is the funnest part. I used to do this kind of spontaneous stuff all the time before I was a mom, and it was kind of thrilling when we were on the ferry to Seattle and hit some hydro-turbulence and I went to call my mom and tell her about it when i saw my phone had died. There is that very brief moment of what did i jsut do when you realize that no one knows where you are and you dont have your cell phone. But for me that fear is gone in .5 seconds.
So we got off the ferry and walked down to the Olde Curiosity Shoppe where I got to show KK the mummies and I got her name engraved on a piece of rice and put into a necklace. That was way cool for her because she can never find anything with her name on it, it always has to be specially made since I messed with the spelling of her name so badly. Then we talk to the cashier about where we should go for dinner and he suggested a couple places but I knew there was a fancy Ivar's right down the street on the pier. So that is where we went.
KK and I shared an appetizer of dungeness crab chevre parmesan fondue dip (OMG YUM) and the bread they brought was yummy rosemary bread, so the meal was off to a perfect start. Fopr our entrees, KK had Junior pasta, which was bowties in light butter and parmesan, but she forgot she doesnt like parmesan unless it is entirely melted and she doesnt know its there, so she didnt eat much. I on the other hand ate every last bite of mine. I had the seared wild Alaskan Coho Salmon (without the brussels sprouts) which was flashed in a sherry glaze and served over a bed of their bacon and fingerling potato hash... and you know how deep my feelings for bacon are. So yes, I ate the whole thing and I was soooo stuffed. But KK and I have a tradition every time we dine at seafood restaurants we end the meal by sharing a creme brulee. So in the name of tradition... I am lucky I didn't bust the button off my pants!
When we finished we did some shopping at the Exclusively Washington store, where I bought a seafood cookbook and KK got some postcards for her pen pal. We cought the ferry back just in time and were home by 10pm. Thankfully I didnt get too lost trying to find my car as it was pouring and raining sideways when we docked.
KK had a great time. So did I. My kid is way good company!

Crushin...

Having a harmless crush is fun. Duh. But I seem to have a particular knack for it. I am the best at 'chance' encounters, eye contact, endearing myself to guys as the 'friend who is a girl' harmless type, all those things you must do when you have a crush. And what better place to have a completely innocent crush than work?
OK, besides the fact that work is my only outing besides going to the grocery store, there are plenty of smart, attractive, funny men at my work. OK, not plenty, three. But three is enough to keep rotating! Haha. But what I am wondering is whether a crush is counterproductive when it is on someone who is in my league. I mean, if I think they are cute, funny, and sweet enough to be crushing on them, why wouldn't I try to see if there could be some mutual interest?
i think the answer is probably because I am sooooo terrified of liking someone and them not liking me back. As long as it stays a crush, no one knows of my interest, so there can be no rejection. Hmmm. Don't feel like delving much deeper into the psycho-babble of that one!
Thoughts?

A little surprise... maybe...

OK so don't tell my dad, but I got all signed up to go back to school and I may get my 2yr degree in the Spring. I am not telling him just in case it doesn't happen. I would rather have it almost happen and then make him rush out for graduation! For those of you who have been reading for a while, you may know that I registered at Olympic College in the Fall to go this coming Spring, since I know myself, and that is about how long it takes me to get my proverbial shit together.
So today in the mail I received my financial aid award letter, so I have been granted funds to complete this degree and if I play my cards right, I won't have to pay as much as I thought to complete this degree that has taken FOREVER to get. I am waiting for my transcripts to make it from TCC to OC so I can get a proper degree audit. I hope I don't find out that I will need to take a ton of classes that I don't know about. I have like 145 credits towards my 90-credit degree... so something has got to work out!
The schedule says Spring quarter is from March 31st to June 11, and although I don't know when or what classes I will be taking yet, I do know that childcare is always the issue, and has been the two other times I thought I was in my last quarter of college. So please, I am begging you, if you are local and know any sitters, or want to do a childcare swap, or just feel like helping me out, let me know. I am taking volunteers! I will pay you too. I really really need to do this this time. It is getting ridiculous!
I remember when I told my dad I was pregnant right after I turned 19, and I will never forget the disappointed look on his face as he told me he was worried that I would never be able to finish school and get a decent job. I feel like finishing school, even just a 2yr degree, will finally alleviate some of that disappointment. So what I would like to do, and I already okayed this with my mom, is just work hard all quarter, don't even mention school to my dad, then when I am passing and can graduate, invite them out for a visit, and then have my mom just take him to the graduation ceremony place so he can see me walk. How sweet would that be? There's nothing I want more right now.
...
Which makes me think maybe now is not the time for a boyfriend or relationship. Dammit. Is it ever the time?

Was I supposed to work today?

I could not for the life of me figure out why they weren't showing a new episode of The Amazing Race tonight... until I realized it was Tuesday and not Sunday. Not much good on tv on Tuesdays... but kk and I watched a Lifetime movie called Gracie's Choice, which I couldn't understand why she wanted to watch, but ended up being a really cute movie. The plot was a little dramatic, but the acting wasn't as over the top as most Lifetime movies.
In unrelated news, the new season of Rock of Love starts January 13th on VH1. Let me know if you are watching and we can compare notes. Although I will have to be reminded to take a sedative before any episodes Lacey is in... for some reason she brings out my "That skank needs punched" side.
So I bought myself a dozen roses yesterday and split them up into three vases so my whole house smells yummy and they look gorgeous. I am okay with buying them for myself. I think. Yuck- let's not go there right now.
So in ten glorious hours I will be back at work. It is such a place of mixed feelings lately. I need for it so badly to move to a different stage and out of the crappy one it is in right now, and I am hoping the next two weeks will change the path it is on. I have a specific goal in mind to achieve by the end of the month but it is all resting on one thing. Sorry for being vague- a very short girl I used to work with taught me not to say anything at all that could be misinterpreted! She's a stupid loser. Not much room for interpretation there folks :)
So speaking of being a loser, can anyone tell me if they think it is normal that I feel like a loser because I have no realistic plans to become a home-owner any time soon? Sometimes I feel that my sense of what I am supposed to be doing with my life is so skewed from being a teen mom that I really don't know what normal is. Sigh. It was nice to be able to buy a fake Christmas tree this year and put presents under it that I bought with all my own cash, good presents even, and I know it's not all about money, but a lot of future goals are financially based. I really have no clue.
I want to save up and take kk to China. Now that I know a couple people there in the same province, I think it would be really fun and educational for both of us. Also, kk is a dragon and they revere dragons as good leaders, which would be really fun to learn all about. Any hints about that?

1/1/2008

I will have to get used to typing that! Also, maybe one of my resolutions should be to start using punctuation while typing again. I will give it a shot and you readers will be able to tell how that one is going for me!
So of course, one of my resolutions will be to blog every day. If Korin can do it and she has three more people to take care of than I do, why can't I? No reason! So consider this your warning that incredibly lame and boring things lie ahead (well, if I am going to be blogging about my life, anyways!)
I was trying to think of a really good resolution and one that is both achievable and challenging... which nixes money managing and weight loss... and I think I came up with one: to figure out what makes me happy, and then figure out how to make it happen without having to try to terribly hard. The challenge for me here is that I am incredibly lonely, which makes me very unhappy, and I know that a big part of me being happy is to not be lonely... but its not really something that I want to force to happen, so I don't know, it will be a real challenge for me. I know that being the mother of a smart, healthy, happy child should be all it takes to be happy, but I think I am not the only one out there who knows it takes more than that. Not that I wouldn't give up my happiness for her, but I shouldn't have to. You know?
So here is to getting happy, blogging daily, and using punctuation.
Best of wishes to you and yours for a lovely 2008!