and see a couple of nice options on there, but haven't connected with anyone but one guy. I saw someone saturday night that I have known for going on a year and a half now, which isnt too terribly long, but even they noticed a change in my confidence level when it comes to guys. It is down!!! I just dont know what to do anymore to not let it bother me. It sucks. I think I am having a PMS day today because it is really really getting to me to be here by myself. Who knows- with today's depression and Saturday's paranoia, I may be documenting my slow decline into some strange, not yet diagnosed mental state.
My mom was mentally ill for a long time but it came on really suddenly with her, so any time I am not like myself I start to get extra worried wondering if this is the time I go crazy like she did. It is very disturbing. I don't see any manic behavior anymore, but I know I used to have it, so maybe I am bipolar in long waves, instead of short. That would definitely explain my newfound ability to save money and not spend it.
I am so glad I believe in God. I know for sure I would be a basket case if I didn't have Him to put all my worries on. I know He never lets me be completely alone. I know He has big plans for me and it is up to me to trust Him and whatever crazy steps it takes to get to my big plans. i think I will just go to bed and pray to feel better.
Wow this post is a little all over the place.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment