is grey's anatomy. I may have already written about how much i like this show but since i have been sitting her watching season one that i bought the other day i have to say it again. i like it almost as much as i like my hair straightener.
there is a quote at the end of episode six when meredith says something about why hit yourself in the head with a hammer... because it feels so good when you stop. makes me wonder if thats not what im doing to myself. do i really have to think this much about every damn thing? i know i dont, but i dont know how to stop. a sociopath once told me to jsut have fun and as long as you are making yourself happy then who cares about anything else? well thats not the answer for me personally, but i have to admit that i wish i had jsut an ounce of the ability that he had to forget about all the bad stuff, and do what makes me feel good all the time.
off subject... sorry. anyways i think i like this show so much because so many of the actors can portray the raw emotions that i seem to be feeling all the time and cant show.
do you ever feel like you are watching yourself go slowly crazy? i dont think i am anywhere near commitable but i definitely need a long vacation somewhere sunny with NO KIDS anywhere near me, and no decisions to be made but whether to finally get up since its lunchtime and i dont want to miss the seafood buffet.
a couple of weeks ago i knew i was getting close to breaking down, so i tried to plan it for the weekend, and that didnt happen. so tuesday i was telling my boss i was mad that i hadnt had my breakdown that weekend because then i would have to try to wait until next weekend. well needless to say the day turned craptastic and i ended up crying at work. at least it wasnt raining so i could go out on my private lanai and be alone. of course going out there brings back memories that most of the time i wish i didnt have.
do you ever try to retrace your steps and see if you can pinpoint the one event that made your life change drastically? sometimes its easy- the death of a loved one, and illness, a move... but sometimes the symptoms of a life-altering event dont show up for months, or even years, and take even longer to wreak their havoc on your life. i know this last life-changing course of events seemed pleasant and innocent enough at the time, but nearly a year later i am half the person i used to be. its not cool.
and i dont think anyone even noticed.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
basketball camp
kk had her first basketball clinic today, its an hour long, about two days a week for six weeks. kind of a basketball 101, if you will. i hope she learns some aggression. she is great at passing and shooting but cannot figure out how to guard, or how to figure out if her team is offense or defense.
does it matter? does your role change that much depending on what your team is doing? i think she secretly jsut wanted to shoot because she kept running back and standing under the basket when the guy she was supposed to be defending was way on the other side of the court. it was cute though.
tonight the plan is to finish dinner (green beans and costco salmon patties) do my hair, do some dishes (yeah right like that will happen HA) and watch the pilot of grey's anatomy. tell me why i like that show so much. i have only seen two e[pisodes EVER but they were so good that i went out and bought the whole first season on DVD.
ive noticed lately that when people ask what i have been up to, its the same old thing. nothing. i need to take up a new hobby, something that stimulates my mind and gets me moving. any suggestions?
does it matter? does your role change that much depending on what your team is doing? i think she secretly jsut wanted to shoot because she kept running back and standing under the basket when the guy she was supposed to be defending was way on the other side of the court. it was cute though.
tonight the plan is to finish dinner (green beans and costco salmon patties) do my hair, do some dishes (yeah right like that will happen HA) and watch the pilot of grey's anatomy. tell me why i like that show so much. i have only seen two e[pisodes EVER but they were so good that i went out and bought the whole first season on DVD.
ive noticed lately that when people ask what i have been up to, its the same old thing. nothing. i need to take up a new hobby, something that stimulates my mind and gets me moving. any suggestions?
Sunday, February 25, 2007
kks bday pics
here are a few pics from kks bday.the first two pics are kk hamming it up in the pool. she kept trying to pass the swim test so she could go off the diving board. the test involves swimming to the other side of the pool and back without stopping. the first time she stopped in the middle and asked the lifeguard how she was doing, so she had to start over. the second time she stopped when she got to the other side and had to do it again because she forgot to stay swimming and come back. the third time she did the same thing, only she got out of the pool and came over to ask the lifeguard if she passed and he said no bc she forgot again, and she sat down and started crying. poor sweet girl. i felt so bad for her. after that she jsut quit and was playing with her friends.
the third pic is her bday cake. Since we were having a pool party in february, it was kind of hard to find good items to put on the cake.
finally at toys r us i found a barbie pool set, so i just unscrewed (or screwed off, as kk put it) the plastic pool part from the frame and set the frame on top. the cake was chocolate with chocolate cream filling and white buttercream frosting. SO good. thanks gig harbor safeway for another job well done on kks cake!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
etiquette
is it jsut me or do people my age not even know what RSVP means? dont jsut show up somewhere and expect there to be a seat for you if you have not let the hostess know you are coming. if you do that to one of my parties, be prepared for spaghettios and tap water. cause we all know my broke ass did not buy extra jsut in case you came.
i had an ingenious idea. im sure im not the first person to come up with it but its working really well for kk and i. she got a lot of toys n stuff, and in order to have her write her thank-you cards, and instead of having that battle where she is not wanting to sit down and write a ton of thank-yous all at once, i told her she can write them as she plays with a toy, for example, she wrote a thank-you to conner for the LIFE game, then we played it. now that the game is over, she is writing one to dana so she can play with her horses, etc.
im SO smart.
i had an ingenious idea. im sure im not the first person to come up with it but its working really well for kk and i. she got a lot of toys n stuff, and in order to have her write her thank-you cards, and instead of having that battle where she is not wanting to sit down and write a ton of thank-yous all at once, i told her she can write them as she plays with a toy, for example, she wrote a thank-you to conner for the LIFE game, then we played it. now that the game is over, she is writing one to dana so she can play with her horses, etc.
im SO smart.
big sigh
wow that was exhausting. sometimes it is hard to be mom and dad. i dont have enough hands to cut the cake, pass out forks, take pictures, pour soda refills, and notice what is going on all at the same time. it was kk's 7th bday party today, and i think everyone had a really good time. i got to meet some of the parents from the clas that i hadnt met before, and a few people that i jsut dont see that often, and one person i went to high school with. sometimes i love that aspect of a small town. like this morning at safeway picking up kk's cake ir an into a girl that i went to school with since grade school. we both have 7yr old girls, 5 days apart, and when she saw kk come out of the restroom she said oh my god she looks just like you, which i dont think she does. i think she looks like her dad a lot of the time but maybe since no one knows what her dad looks like except me, i guess she looks like me to everyone else.
anyways the kids and some parents all swam for the first hour, then everyone got out and showered and dressed and we sang, ate cake, and did presents. everyone really liked the necklaces kk and i made for the kids instead of candy filled goody bags. i dont know about kk but i was pretty proud of them, and it was a really nice way to do something that didnt require a lot of deep thinking because i jsut dont have it in me right now.
now i jsut want a nap, but instead i am going to play LIFE with kk. maybe a nap later.
hey at least i looked good in the pictures- i knew i did my hair for a reason!
anyways the kids and some parents all swam for the first hour, then everyone got out and showered and dressed and we sang, ate cake, and did presents. everyone really liked the necklaces kk and i made for the kids instead of candy filled goody bags. i dont know about kk but i was pretty proud of them, and it was a really nice way to do something that didnt require a lot of deep thinking because i jsut dont have it in me right now.
now i jsut want a nap, but instead i am going to play LIFE with kk. maybe a nap later.
hey at least i looked good in the pictures- i knew i did my hair for a reason!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
that star in the corner
it looks like a converse star. that star up there in the corner, you see it now, right? its not a converse star. i picked this blog page layout because it's title was 'No. 897' and all the others had names that were trying to be cutesy. That fact in itself made them all unappealing to me.
That girl on GREASE: YOURE THE ONE THAT I WANT named hmmm i dont remember- ill add it later so keep reading- well she looks like a stepford wife. scary.
ok so i cut the hell out of my finger at work today using scissors to open a box containing a bookshelf (unassembled of course, is there any other way???)
......................
i interrupt that sentence to say her name is KATE
......................
and was so super-excited to get to put something together that my finger got int he way and ended up having the tip cut like a v about an inch long. nice huh. bled quite a bit. was deep enough that i called my doc to see how long its been since i got a tetanus shot. 11 years btw. so when i am done spending every last dime on my kid and her bday and now her party remind me to get a shot. $50. Anyways being an aries EVERYTHING is a contest to me, so i decided i would try to race and see if i could get the bookshelf done before the managers were out of their meeting. and in true aries fashion, i won. Not like they knew we were racing or anything.
ok this is my first blog on here and to anyone who knows me knows i may blog two or three times a day then go months without doing it so if you have any kind of heartfelt interest in what i have to say, let me know. and if you want me to ramble about something, put it on the request line.
ciao
That girl on GREASE: YOURE THE ONE THAT I WANT named hmmm i dont remember- ill add it later so keep reading- well she looks like a stepford wife. scary.
ok so i cut the hell out of my finger at work today using scissors to open a box containing a bookshelf (unassembled of course, is there any other way???)
......................
i interrupt that sentence to say her name is KATE
......................
and was so super-excited to get to put something together that my finger got int he way and ended up having the tip cut like a v about an inch long. nice huh. bled quite a bit. was deep enough that i called my doc to see how long its been since i got a tetanus shot. 11 years btw. so when i am done spending every last dime on my kid and her bday and now her party remind me to get a shot. $50. Anyways being an aries EVERYTHING is a contest to me, so i decided i would try to race and see if i could get the bookshelf done before the managers were out of their meeting. and in true aries fashion, i won. Not like they knew we were racing or anything.
ok this is my first blog on here and to anyone who knows me knows i may blog two or three times a day then go months without doing it so if you have any kind of heartfelt interest in what i have to say, let me know. and if you want me to ramble about something, put it on the request line.
ciao
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