what boring crap to write about today?
work was pretty lame- for some reason i couldnt get my ass in gear and concentrate- felt so abd about it i brought work home and am taking a break from it right now. I tried to do some at dinner but mr man decide he wanted to have the 'i dont want a girlfriend' chat over text. yeah. text. nice huh? after yesterday he says he wants to hang out after i get moved. whatever. mixed messages suck ass.
in other better news, dinner was delicious... tortellini alla panna from bella nina YUM. :::newsflash::: cream sauces do NOT cure sadness no matter how hard you try.
my house is still kinda messy because i am packing and trying to live, work overtime, commute, raise a kid, and get over a delusional 'relationship' all at the same time and it is jsut draining of my energy. so home is not exactly the refuge i want it to be right now.
:::dont read this cause its sappy- but i really have very mixed feelings about leaving memories of the past 6 months here. every time he rang my doorbell- and especially the first time i dressed up special for him. when he opened that door and i saw the look on his face- i never felt so good. at the same time it sucks right now when so long goes by and he doesnt knock on the door. why cant i just meet him in 5 years when things are different? why the f do i care anyways? we are so not right for each other and i deserve someone who doesnt see my interest as an inconvenience... so wtf is wrong with me that i still care? AAAARGGHHHHH!!:::
big deep breath
OK better. not really but whatever.
im kind of looking forward to a summer distraction. of course there is always k... he says he will come up and see me in bremerton- things are a little weird right now. i was venting to him and out of nowhere he is like- hey i like you, we always get along, we never fight, i think youre sexy and smart and feisty, let me know when you are done rebounding from this guy and i will be waiting. wtf? that came out of nowhere lol i mean im flattered... but who knows? i dont want to go from one thing to another either- and frankly im not capable of doing it right now. but like i keep saying- summer is coming.
ok back to work for me- probably one more hour of work before i take my tired ass to bed. for some reason i woke up at 445 this morning and immediatley started thinking when all i really wanted to do was sleep.
toodles to my faithful- and a special shout-out to my washer/dryer hero! big sloppy kisses to you lol jk
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