all done

i am 100% out of tacoma.
yippee!!!!!!!!!!
more later

kisses!

good news...

i didnt get fired!!!
and that is the last thing i am going to say about this horrible work week i have had.
I am having one of my friends from tacoma come over and visit tonight and i am way excited to see someone that i know and get along with so well. plus hes an excellent cuddler.
crush boy is going to be gone next week so i will have nothing to look at for an entire week. wil,l i survive? stay tuned and find out.
OK well i am going to go organize something now- maybe i will write more later.
i jsut cant believe i survived this week. even though i am behind and have to go in tomorrow- i am still so relieved that i am alive and breathing... and employed!

OK so perhaps

the lamest thing to write about in a blog is not your new haircut- but someone else's haircut LOL.
Crush boy got a haircut um either last night or the night before... I have been too busy to notice. But i HATE the haircut. looks like Beavis. But I dont know how such a crappy haircut can make a hot person look even hotter. but it does. Yum.
Nearly irresistable. Such a hot man. Good alone-time visuals.
Gah I just forgot i missed a call from my old boss earlier when i was eating dinner and havent even checked the msg. i so need to recharge.
Just cause i dont pick up doesnt mean i dont love and miss you!

Exhausted

This has been the longest week I have had in a long time. Im not so emotional anymore which is awesome- but I do feel worthless at my job. I told my boss she is not allowed to go on vacation anymore ever as long as i work there unless she takes me. I dont know what crawled up the VPs butt but he was such a jerk to me today- all attitude and negativity like i invented cancer or something. Oh well I am chalking it up to his Life Sucks More Than Mine so whatever.

In other news, i got a call today from somoeone in my past that I knew would call. I actually said some time between this morning and the end of the week and he called like 20 minutes ago. I was pretty proud of myself for saying no to his requests and hanging up on him. We will see how long my strength stays up on this one. But I am proud of myself.

OK So let me pause and see how I am doing on my goals for this week: eh- the only one i have accomplished is not get fired... and that is jsut so far. There is always tomorrow morning. you know what forget I even said that- dont want to jinx myself.

Time to eat something and pass out before my body jsut does it on its own here in the chair. Its nice to have an office though. This house makes me feel like a grown-up... albeit a very lonely grown-up.

More later kiddies.

UPDATE: 10 minutes after I posted this he called again HA. too funny.

should be interesting

ok first off i am drunk. i am celebrating the weekend a little early this week. hooray for me.
second point to make is after a week or so of not giving a shit about retard mans blog i took a peek for entertainment purposes... only it wasnt entertaining. wtf did i ever see in him? thinking.... oh yeah- hes intelligent. unfortunately that isnt enough. but whatever. i am eating a quarter pounder and it is delish. you vegetarians are stupid.
So i want to go dancing tonight but im almost out of cash and dont want to spencd anymore jsut in case. work sucked today. i cried like almost all day. who knows why. but i hung in like a trooper and got shit done. well kinda. got an import error but i will deal with that in the morning. drank way too much again but i have no kid so life is footloose and fancy free.
how come i feel like nobody wants to be my friend? oh yeah because nobody does want to be my friend.
im pissed- no wait- SUPER-pised that i wasted 6 kmonths opf my life with someone who ended up dumping me via text msg. so now like i want someone to talk about my day with and i dont have anyone because i THOUHGT msitakenly thatr we were building towards something. What made me think that, you ask? ohhhhh maybe the fact that he TOLD me it was. whatever. i guess i am jsut meant to be alone. what a shitty idea. i am too much of a horndog for that.
yeah so i am eating a quarter pounder and it is hella good and now i ahve to pee. again. brb.
ok back. so i wa thinking about calling crush boy but im not going to because he shows no interest whatsoever. so then i started getting mad at retard buy again because i moved up here thinking i was moving half the distance to his place and he always complained about how far away i was and hey now i mived way closer but wait it doesnt matter because he doesnt want to see me anymore. nice to know that he was so not interested in me that the first girl that comes along and shows some interest can steal him away. am i that low on the food chain?
everything has got to quit sucking soon or i dont know what i am going to do. i am so sick of crying. when does something good get to happne to me?
and iu am tired of people being like- dont be sad. wtf? thats like me teling them- dont be a dumbass. it is jsut supposed to be that way who knows why.
ok enough drunken philosophy and bad typing for one night- off to find some old maid thing to watch on tv like the loser everyone thinks i am.

hasta.

working off the stress....

so yeah today at work was pretty stressful so after work i went and hit a bucket of balls at the driving range which felt AWESOME and then i went to red robin and got hammered. i sucked my first drink down in 20 seconds (three sips) and had some mroe and chatted with this old couple about baseball and since when did frank thomas play for toronto?!?
so anyways this blog is completely random since my brain is random at the moment.
my tooth is killing me. i have an appt tomorrow but i think i have to cancel since i dont have the cash till wednesday. blah. it hurts like all the time and the combo of my toothache, back hurting and cramps today damn near sent me over the edge.
so i want to meet someone new and im kinda worried because i dont know people out here... like where to go to meet people or where not to go lol i mean some of that i can figure out on my own. but it would really be awesome if someone was like- you know i think so and so would really like you. heres his number. but that doesnt happen to me lol
what would be super awesome would be if crush boy was like hey lets go get some dinner and you can be my girlfriend and we can have lots of great sex haha
SNAP back to reality
ok so i have a bunch of stuff to do but i obviously dont feel like doing any of it... i wonder if taht is because i have a bunch of stuff to do at work that i dont want to do but have to... so when i get off work i am like screw it.
darn i forgot my camera in the car- i was going to post film of kk being silly. oh well.
sigh ok now i am getting all caught up on crush boy. maybe it is psychological since i really dont have the energy for anything else at the moment.
when is bowlie getting back so he can pimp me out?
i wonder if ALL bremerton women come with a bad rep. probably. i am half regretting my move at the moment. but i love my place. it feels huge... its not all that big but it sure feels like it is. i should measure one of these days.
i wonder why it is easier to be alone and not feel lonely in my small apartment than it does in this big house.
time for frosted flakes and bed.
i miss you all!

goals for this week

1. include finishing moving!!! no choice on that one as i dont have the place past saturday.

2. make at least one new friend around here... im bored and lonely and it sucks not having friends to come over and hang out... its like house arrest meets solitary confinement.

3. get my bathroom all organized and everything in its place

4. not get fired. my boss remains gone all week. this is the msot important goal!

5. end my crush on that guy. its pointless really, even if it is fun and time-consuming to daydream about someone. and its nice to have a reason to look smashing when i go to work.

ok here i go- wish me luck!

here is a random pic to fill some space haha: KK peeking from around the corner in her jammies when i first got my camera :) shes so pretty!

the rice cooker

is amazing... as a cereal bowl. so at this point in the game we have moved some stuff from the kitchen but not all of it, so this morning when we went to eat cereal we had to make do. it was funny eating frosted flakes out of this huge bowl with this huge plastic rice spoon that barely had any dip to it. because we are a bit slow, we will probably do the same thing tomorrow. i will try to take pics of kk and post here- it is quite funny to watch.

i will try to figure out how to DL a little movie clip i took of kk at the hospital when i had to bribe her to hold the baby. so funny- she looked terrified lol.

in other news, lets recap friday. by far NOT the best day i have ever had. lets start at the beginning:

It was the first shower at my new place. I found I had shampoo but not conditioner. great start. so then i locate some sampler bottles from some hotel (it pays to be a theif!) and get in the shower. Amazing water pressure and I am looking forward to being woken up properly... until i notice that half the water is shooting from the place where the pipe connects to the showerhead and going over the shower curtain into the rest of the bathroom. ugh. so i turn the showerhead around to where the excess water is now shooting into the shower wall and ricocheting right back into my face. ouch. then the shower curtain starts doing that weird sticking to the side of my body thing so i am trying to wash my hair and stuff while being attacked by the shower curtain.

i survive and make it out of the shower, get dressed and leave on time, no traffic, everything looks good. i drop kk off at school for her last day at that school- sad!- and when i go to write the time down that i am checking her in at, i notice i am running about 15 minutes late. WTF? i had counted backwards and planned so carefully- even gave 15 minutes leeway (SP?) jsut in case. ohhhhh i had counted how long it takes to get from my work to her school, not our new place to her school. damn. so i call work to let them know i was running late and start stressing because it went to msg and didnt beep, so i dont know if they got the msg or not until i get there lol.

So I get to work, my first day at my new job that my boss is going to be gone which means i am the go-to person (SCARY) and i see that already there is a paper on my chair saying we are out of something fix it now. oh great. so i rush downstairs and try to figure out where they all are. i cant find any so i go to ask engineering and by this point bowlie is helping me look and goes into engineering with me, where mr Wacky Engineer In The Basement pulls out a couple of tubes of the thing i am looking for. YAY!!! Im not getting fired!!! well- unless they arent a match to the current product. So bowlie takes a look and in the meantime, mr WEITB is telling me about how he doesnt bother learning names because people are getting fired right and left and on and on and i am starting to be reminded of how tight my budget is, and how i jsut moved somewhere where i dont know the labor market and if i got fired what would i do- i jsut signed a lease etc. etc. so i am starting to get a little worried and bowlie is taking forever to tell me if the parts are a match and the only thing i can think in my mind is that if they were right he would have already told me, so they must be wrong and he is trying to think of a nice way to tell me they are wrong. so the tension is building and bowlie looks at me and says they dont match, and i started tearing up and then he goes yes they do hahaha and i stabbed him with the tube and probably called him an asshole or something then i really started crying a little bit cause im a big fat baby. well on emotional hormonal days i am.

wait theres more.

ok so then i quit crying, go back upstairs, and start crying again telling wondergirl what jsut happened. then i am fine. for a while. theres a potluck for bowlies last day and that is good because we all know how much i love a sauce covered meat of any kind, and there was an abundance on display. so its all great, the day goes on, pretty uneventful, then it is time for bowlie to leave and he comes upstairs and is like peace out and i was like see ya and then he was gone. and i didnt want to say see ya i wanted to give him a big squeezy hug and tell him how special he is to me and that i havent made a friend like that in a long time, and that work was going to suck majorly without him there to make me smile. some people you jsut click with. i dont share secrets with many people but he was just someone i felt like i had already known forever. anyways so i looked out the window to see if i could still go tell him all that and his truck was gone and i started crying again because i hate goodbyes and i hate that feeling like i didnt get to tell him really how much he meant to me and i think it is so important to let people who mean something to you know that they mean something to you. im sure in the scheme of things i didnt mean that much to him as he did to me but i think that the role he played in my life the last month has been really to keep me sane and happy while a bunch of major stuff changed- new job, a new place in a new town, and newly single. so yeah i got sad. what can i say im an emotional schmuck.

so i dry my tears, take out the trash because its janitor friday, and go to leave on time bc kk is at the ymca and i HAVE to be there by 430 or they will charge a dollar a minute overtime. I get in my car and drive down the street and see that the highway is closed. to the point that they are diverting traffic off of it onto the street i was on. shit. so i turn around and drive into work and ask someone who is leaving if they know any other way to gig harbor because i have 20 minutes to get my kid and he says yeah jsut follow me. so i am optomistic that the 430 thing can be done. until we go to the first shortcut to the freeway and see that everyone else had that idea too. we turn around, pull over and he says he knows tons of roads so jsut keep following him. so i follow and follow and realize there is no way i am going to make it. i start going through my phone list and realize i feel like i dont have anyone who can help me by getting kk. so finally i stop at kehli and call her and start crying asking if she can try to get online and find me the number to the ymca center so i can call and tell them i was going to be late due to traffic and please dont worry... or charge me. she says she will jsut go pick her up, which in typical kehli style is above and beyond. so kk is taken care of. i calm down and finally after a couple wrong turns find my way into gig harbor and kehli's house to pick up kk.

by the time i get to kehlis's house, my psyche is shot. like i know all i want to do is crawl into bed for a long long time. i find out when i get to her house that she had left from setting up a surprise party to go pick up kk. what a woman. i said why didnt you tell me? i would have found someone else to go get her. and she said thats why i didnt tell you, because i knew you needed me and this could wait and i didnt want you telling me not to worry. so then what did i do? yup. started crying again. that selfless serving quality kehli has and what she had jsut said to me reminded me so much of my grandma. jsut putting others before herself, no matter what. at any cost. you cant learn that, you are either born that way or not. i am so lucky to have known two women with that quality.

Wrapping up the day, we went to dinner, drove to tacoma to pick up another load of stuff, went to walmart for a new showerhead and um some other junk and went home and unloaded. sigh. that was almost emotionally draining jsut writing about.

dont worry today was better! more on that tomorrow!

the major move is done!!!

thanks to bowlie and mr mumbles. hey that sort of sounds like a movie title. Bowlie and Mr Mumbles go to Town. haha im hilarious.
Anyways I get my cable hooked up Saturday morning so I probably wont be on much between now and then but i make up for it in quality.
OK kk is bugging me to start loading the car. gotta go.

toodles!

racing the clock

ok thank you to mr rescue man, even if i am only talking to you for business purposes. No, at this point in my life you deserve a better blog nickname than mr rescue man, even though that one makes me picture bulging muscles and a uniform, which doesnt quite suit you. hmmm. options... ok consulted the urban dictionary and put in the search term 'bowl,' and all i got were nasty bathroom references which you probably think are funny, so those are out. except for 'Bowlie,' which is defined as "Originated in Portsmouth, England in the mid 80’s, meaning Retard" which makes me laugh, and is ok. haha so Bowlie it is. maybe less manly than mr rescue man but oh well, whats important is what makes me laugh.
anywho- the title of my blog indicates that i have soooo much to do and such little time to do it. i wish i had the backbone to ask the only single doable guy i know to help, but i dont. gah i keep distracting myself.
the title of my blog refers to the challenge i gave myself tonight- to have at least one box packed every 15 minutes. so far, i have been successful for the last 45 minutes, which is how i can sit here writing this. i know, bo-ring.
anywho- work has been okay lately... in funny news i attempted an advanced ninja karate move today in the warehouse and fell on my ass in front of mr mumbles. embarrassing. but what a way to get noticed, right? lol. it could have been way worse, i was coming down the stairs later that day and i misstepped the very first step and fell down but didnt fall down all 19 stairs, jsut twisted my ankle a bit. major goober move. im a dork. like you didnt know.
ok heres a funny story. my daughter and i were driving past KinderCare on our way home last night and she puts on her stunna shades, rolls down her window, and flashes the peace sign at the kids outside and says "Peace out, little kids."
well i thought it was funny. now back to work!!!

peace out, little kids :)

buying lighting and other misc.

was so fun. i love picking out home furnishings and the fact that home depot was having a lighting sale well i was temporarily in heaven. two glass and brushed nickel modern lamps marked down from 70 to 19? doesnt get better than that. And a matching brushed nickel and frosted glass dining room fixture. the new place is coming together quite well :) most of the furniture is over except the heavy stuff and i have help this week. thank you kindness-of-your-heart man!
Im very excited that summer is here! out with the old, boring, and bad in bed, and in with all new and much more pleasing to me! Sometimes I wish there was a class to teach guys how to um you know before they are ever unleashed into the public. would save me some time, thats for sure. of course i have had the fortune to meet a couple of guys who could teach that seminar... where are their numbers again? lol
jsut got back from buying some tools at schucks from my friends cutiepie husband. going to take my bed apart and get it ready to move. not so much left to do... a few more loads and then it will be time to plan my housewarming bbq. better check the calendar and learn how to grill :)
in other news- mr man decided to officially end everything and everything today via text. yes, text. lmao. even a week ago i would have been really hurt... as it is i couldnt stop laughing. i keep trying to figure out what i learned from that whole experience... here is a short list of what i have come up with:

1. dont settle for someone who cannot physically please you, no matter how much you suck it up and act like it is great.
2. most people lie. i know i do sometimes. but usually only to cops. so people who come off like they are so honest and such good people and oh they would never lie are probably the bigger liars of the group than those of us who will admit that we have done it and will probably do it again.
3. anyone who ever tells you they are immature is right!
4. i would still rather be fabulous and struggling than a socially awkward bad dresser with money.
5. seafood kicks thai foods ass.
6. theres reasons some people are single for so long. wrinkly little smelly sweaty reasons.

im very excited to see what my reward is for putting up with that crap for so long.

and for the record, Ian's hat is a pimp hat.

toodles!

gabriella

one of my best friends morgan had her first baby this morning! it is so weird for my friends to be so many years behind me in the child-having stage of life... but i am happy for them trust me. and they all love kk because they havent been ruined by their own kids yet haha.

morgan and i have been friends since we were 4 years old and have stayed super-close through multi-state moves (her) inter-state moves (me) and boyfriends galore (both of us.)

anyways she has a great man in her life (tony) and they made this precious little baby so i am happy to present my fave newborn, gabby.

5 things...

I hate:
1. Spitting
2. Horseradish
3. Lying
4. Doing dishes
5. Giving up on people

I need to do this weekend:
1. Bring drinks for the baseball team
2. Pack
3. Move
4. Dance
5. RSVP to Spencers party

I want right now:
1. A cuddle
2. Mint chocolate chip ice cream in a waffle cone
3. to be able to sleep in once
4. A text
5. A 'move planner' like a wedding planner only for a more major event (a move) haha

But seriously- I love my new haircut and it is making me happier than i have been in a while. Like since last weekend LOL

Love and miss you girls and guys you rock too :)

Remember your end of the deal... I will watch Charlie if you find me someone to get me in the paper hahaha

im the shiznit

i packed three boxes!!! shut up.

im bribing myself

since i cant seem to get my ass in gear and am starting to get really nervous about running out of time on my move, i decided that if i get a whole bunch done tonight I will let myself go dancing on friday or saturday night because a band I really like is going to be at the muckleshoot. That is a good reward for myself :) but things arent looking too hopeful. Even jsut writing these few sentences took me about an hour because i was watching tv and looking up stuff online. OK but at least i took a nap this afternoon for about an hour and now I feel like I can actually pack up some of the kitchen. If I get the kitchen done tonight I will be in good shape for the weekend. Ugh I have to remember that KK has a baseball game on sat morning at 9!! OK that jsut made it official that i will not be going out dancing friday night HA.
OK so I am watching So You Think You Can Dance... a dancing reality show... and i think a lot of the appeal for me is that i cannot dance at all. I am good at that middle-school swaying slow-dance schtick but that doesnt count for anything any more. And I am awesome at the classics: No, not those classics, Im talking about The Sprinkler, The Running Man, The Moonwalk, you know, those ones. haha if you have gone out with me, you know I can only joke dance and it is always funny. maybe its because i am always drunk. who knows? :)
Anyhoo, today started rough with kk and I getting so into we made each other cry. It is so awesome to have a stonrg-willed intelligent daughter who can fight her way out of anything, BUT i am a spoiled only brat jsut like she is, so in a situation where there is a winner and loser, it can get very ugly. But nothing like a sausage mcmuffin for her and a large iced hazelnut coffee for me to say hey i still love you and your attitude. Then on my way to work everything was sucking so bad, like everything that could suck was, that when i got out of the car i said to tiff "I should have stayed in the shower this morning because everything that has happened since I got out has been shit" and that wasnt even the shittiest part of the day. A couple things happened I am not going to get into here but nothing that a good cry and some speeding down the road on my lunch break couldnt fix.
OK now I have to leave you and go pack!!!! Seriously! Leave me alone! Wait youre not doing anything. For real though- any kind of encouragement to get my ass in gear is more than welcome... a comment, an email or instant message, text, money or fresh baked goods are all accepted.

Love ya!

i've been schmoozed!!!

a nice part of my new job is sales reps come out and basically kiss our asses so we buy their stuff. of course, we dont have to buy anything we dont want to, and they are too busy with their bazillion other customers to bother us to terribly much if we dont respond to them right away. plus we already have most of our stock set up in bond with one supplier so we are pretty golden as long as i forecast correctly.
Anyways, today we had a visit from a bothell company, the industrial sales rep (A) who my boss and i already talk to, and his boss (N) the sales manager. So they drive up in a shiny new black s-class and come upstairs.
Sidenote: It is always interesting to me to see people for the first time who you talk to over other means of comunication. A lot of people meet online, and that is different because there is usually a photo or webcam so you still have a general idea what a person looks like. One guy I met online however looked nothing like his old ass picture, which is neither a good or bad thing, as neither was particularly impressive. The last big sales rep I met turned out to be this snaky little man, which shocked and surprised me because of the magic he can pull off with getting us product.
Anyhoo back to today. I was pulling POs from the binder to give to Tiff when Mish the wonder receptionist came around and told me A and N were here. Damn, my boss was downstairs so I had to meet them first. Deep breath, shy girl. OK So I turn around and standing in front of me were this incredibly gorgeous man (N) and his chubby sidekick (A). Yowzers. Chubby sidekick made my heart skip a beat LOL I am sure I turned all red but oh well. So I met them and although handsome men are nice to look at, they are not really my style. But I couldnt believe how attracted to A i was. So then my boss comes upstairs and we all go into the conference room to schmooze or be schmoozed. How fabulous to be able to be treated to eye candy. And what a nice guy he was too. Fabulous start to the day.
It was great to have the tangible evidence in front of me that even though I had forgotten how stunning and wonderful i am and that any man would be lucky to have me, here he was to remind me how many fish are in the sea, and if the one I have spent the last 6 months basting in my skillet overcooks, throw him back and start over and the results can be way better. OK sorry but what would a blog from me be without my shitty analogies LOL
So then the day is great from that point on. They leave and I work hard and Oh yeah it was payday... which is great because I am hourly and get to make OT. Until i get my check and realize that I did not get paid for memorial day like i was told i would. WTF? because I specifically asked and told that i was and I should have gotten everything in writing from the office manager. Blah I know better than that. So now since OT is not OT, my check is a couple hundred less than i thought it would be. Guess I will have to wait till next pay period to get my automatic garage door opener :( But we all know that is not the point. Not only that, other employess who finish their shift before i do had been calling that their paychecks were bouncing. so i didnt even go to the bank today- no point. but that was a crappy way to end the day... but it wasnt over yet.
So I work about 45 minutes past quitting time and go to the liquor store, and who should page on my way there but mr man, asking me why some simple conversation yesterday had turned into something so dramatic.
I have to interrupt myself here to make the point that somehow I fould the only man on the face of the planet who thinks I am a drama queen.
So yeah how do i explain in a text message, not that i even wanted to, that it was hard for me to have the convo last night because i heard some really unpleasant things about his feelings or lack of feelings for me, and that the whole phone call was pretty much to say goodbye because i wasnt going to contact him anymore? i guess it is harder for me than it is for him to say goodbye. So i tried to explain that and pretty much have my feelings voided as is practice for the two of us. I have tried so many ways to tell him that not only does he not make me feel important like he used to and like he should as the exclusive man in my life... he makes me feel unimportant most of the time. But nothing i say seems to make any sense to him so why even try.
So I ended that call yesterday saying he knows how to get ahold of me. But I dont think he will, since I am too high-maintenance. (you have got to be kidding me) anyways... so that whole thing is over.
Back to work in the morning- im so glad it is thursday but i sure hope i dont have to do anything with the OM cause I feel like slappin somebody todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... (amanda its not you for once HAHAHAHAHA)

i should be sleeping

havent been doing much of that lately. but dont want to, so no conflict there anymore :)

its really hard on the ego to be dismissed so easily but it has happened before and will happen again.

OK so good news- the washer and dryer are in! Thanks guys. Captain on the way but probably not tonight because i was too busy ummmm going to a pity party. But you rock and i am going to miss you because you are cool. way supa-fly. we should party this summer at my ghetto crib.

anyways... i think i recall drawing the kitchen sink for dishes about 40 minutes ago so i think i will go do that. i know, right? me doing dishes? it is jsut so i can move them, dont worry friends.

i will use this time to advertise my Product of the year: Aleve CS.

Whether you are truly ill and cant afford to miss work, or jsut need the pick-me-up value of a slightly-not-quite-but-maybe-should-be upper of pseudephedrine, this is the pill for you. No nasty side effects, all day extended-release... its perfect in every way. Just dont ever ever ever take it before bed unless you want to be up organizing cabinets and frying chicken at 1am.

There have been a couple of incidents involving me and this medicine... since you have to sign for it at the grocery store so they make sure you arent making meth with it. When i am truly sick and cant get this OTC medicine because the pharmacy is closed, I can get jsut a little grumpy. Or a whole lot.

Anyways, another worthless boring blog in the books. Time to drink.

hmmmmmm...

what boring crap to write about today?
work was pretty lame- for some reason i couldnt get my ass in gear and concentrate- felt so abd about it i brought work home and am taking a break from it right now. I tried to do some at dinner but mr man decide he wanted to have the 'i dont want a girlfriend' chat over text. yeah. text. nice huh? after yesterday he says he wants to hang out after i get moved. whatever. mixed messages suck ass.
in other better news, dinner was delicious... tortellini alla panna from bella nina YUM. :::newsflash::: cream sauces do NOT cure sadness no matter how hard you try.
my house is still kinda messy because i am packing and trying to live, work overtime, commute, raise a kid, and get over a delusional 'relationship' all at the same time and it is jsut draining of my energy. so home is not exactly the refuge i want it to be right now.
:::dont read this cause its sappy- but i really have very mixed feelings about leaving memories of the past 6 months here. every time he rang my doorbell- and especially the first time i dressed up special for him. when he opened that door and i saw the look on his face- i never felt so good. at the same time it sucks right now when so long goes by and he doesnt knock on the door. why cant i just meet him in 5 years when things are different? why the f do i care anyways? we are so not right for each other and i deserve someone who doesnt see my interest as an inconvenience... so wtf is wrong with me that i still care? AAAARGGHHHHH!!:::
big deep breath
OK better. not really but whatever.
im kind of looking forward to a summer distraction. of course there is always k... he says he will come up and see me in bremerton- things are a little weird right now. i was venting to him and out of nowhere he is like- hey i like you, we always get along, we never fight, i think youre sexy and smart and feisty, let me know when you are done rebounding from this guy and i will be waiting. wtf? that came out of nowhere lol i mean im flattered... but who knows? i dont want to go from one thing to another either- and frankly im not capable of doing it right now. but like i keep saying- summer is coming.
ok back to work for me- probably one more hour of work before i take my tired ass to bed. for some reason i woke up at 445 this morning and immediatley started thinking when all i really wanted to do was sleep.
toodles to my faithful- and a special shout-out to my washer/dryer hero! big sloppy kisses to you lol jk

this weekend

was perfect.
Friday after work kk and i went to dinner at red lobster. yum. hadnt been there since december and after paying the $50 bill for me and a kid i remembered why. but there is something about lobster fondue that makes me want to rip all my clothes off. ok not really :)
Anyhoo, after that we went over to my friends house and waited for her daughter to get home so we could go out. She ios always such a pro at getting ready: curling the hair, all the layers of makeup, she always looks like a million bucks, so it is funny to me to get ready with her. i get done in ten minutes and am like ummmm now what do i do? So i always end up playing with her curling irons and stuff and i feel like a kid watching her mom get ready for a night out. All those sprays and potions- Im like- what does this one do? So we get all beautiful (well more beautifuler than normal) and go out drinkin and dancing and having a gerat time. i LOVE live bands. met up with some people I remembered from back in the day and end up getting home sometime after 3. I found a new drink called a porn star which is raspberry vodka, blue curacao, lime, and some other thingy- anyways it is pretty and delicious... and toxic LOL of course we always drink jagerbombs when we are getting ready and I had had a top shelf long island at red lobster so I had my 9 drinks and that was as drunk as i get without puking. It was perfect.
Saturday morning slept in, got out of bed and dressed around 2 or so because kks bball game was rained out. We went to the mall and Target and it was much more uneventful than my last trip to Target, thats for sure. No old lady wanted to fight me this time. We went to Macys because it is their white sale and i finally figured out exactly the kind of bedroom decor I want. Problem was, it was saturday afternoon and i was the only person NOT signing up for their bridal registry in the whole department. Just made me miss the comfort of a boyfriend. Anyways it made me a little sad which sucked because my day was going outstanding to that point. So we go to the food court for some yummy tacos and sat down at a wobbly table and my pop fell on the floor and i started crying.
WTF???
Yeah I was like ummm thats embarrassing. Had no idea where that came from but I went up and asked the guy and of course he gave a crying mom a free soda so i sat back down and kk starting crying because I was crying and we were jsut a big mess. In the middle of the Tacoma Mall food court. Yeah I am a winner, that is for sure. No wonder I dont have a boyfriend LOL.
OK so then we went home for a second to get stuff together and go to kks baseball award ceremony, which was fun. Hung out with the cool nice parents, which there are like 5, and even made a business contact out of the deal with one of the sales mgrs of one of our suppliers at work.
KK and i went over to my pimpstresses house to pre-funk and get ready for going out alst night, then we took kk to the sitters and slammed a couple at the casino, then picked up lucky and kris and went to the swiss to meet the others. There was a band there called Seven Deep who I love to watch and we danced and drank till the club closed. Then come home, afterparty, and pass out sometime before dawn. Wake up in the morning around 1130 or so, move to the couch, eat yummy snacks, and go to take a nap. But my phone wont stop buzzing so instead I got up and did some packing and took a load out to the new place. The picked up kk and went to Applebee's to beat a riblet craving. more yum. And I have leftovers for tomorrow :)
So yeah it was a way fun weekend. I am more rested than I have been in a while and turns out in my case that absence does not make my heart grow fonder. I am jsut excited for the summer and the opportunities it always brings.
later gaters!

i dont understand

why you would rather be admired by 100 random people than fully and truly loved by one. Is it jsut that it is easier to not get close? Are you really that afraid of being hurt? makes sense. persnally id rather be hurt than hurt someone.
there is so much i dont understand about you, about life, about the world. i was really looking forward to you teaching me, showing me, and maybe you learning a few things from me too.
feels funny to be the only thing in life you are not open to.
some time i want to jsut talk it out openly and honestly, no distractions. no false fronts. face your fears and inadequacies and i will face mine.
for now i hope you are healthy happy and full in heart.

sorry amanda this isnt all rainbows and puppies lol maybe tomorrow after the long long workweek is over

hobbies

i really need AND want to start drawing and writing again. my writing crave is taken out here on the blizzog but nothing really creative goes into that. and my poetry sucks. but hmmm i guess you could call them my contemporary short stories or snapshots are pretty damn good. and drawing- well sometimes i think its good- but probably mostly art only a mother could love. not like i would expect anyone to buy any of my pieces but i would put them up in my own house.
if you know an artist who does black and white or greyscale art or photography i would love to get a collection going in my new place.
in unrelated news- whats wrong with telling people you care about that you care about them? life is too short to not give out your love if you have it!

die hard

there is a new die hard movie coming out june 27th and I want to go. let me know if you want to go too. i will pay my way haha but im getting popcorn. so neener.

unsure

what to write about. ive had a request for something happy. ive had a request for charlie the unicorn. ive intended to write about nicknames for this contest others are having at work, as well as how all the terminology for work seems to be so dirty all the time what with the surface mount guy telling my boss he was going to put his blog in my twitter (which was funny and kinda hot at the same time LOL). Well, that is probably jsut my gutter mind thinking that, but still.

I could write about how yummy seafood is, since i am currently dining on seafood scampi, and how it is weird that people who are not from around here are so hesitant to try new seafood. I wonder if I grew up where everything was frozen instead of fresh if i would hate seafood too. And I wonder why I never tried scallops till this year. Yum. When doen right of course which in my opinion is the root of all relationships with seafood. If it is done right it can be delish. If done incorrectly, it can spoil a person to a food for a long long time.

I could write about how this move isnt stressing me out but that it may be because I am in denial about the whole thing LOL. I feel like I havent gotten anything accomplished, and I still dont have anyone to help me move the heavy stuff. My parents should have made me a brother, or a pretty sister with a strong husband. But no. I am a lonely only. hey maybe that is why I dont need so much space- I got so much space growing up that it never got old to me. i never ahd to share a room, or food, or my parents or anything else. Hmmmm. Could I have jsut had an epiphany?

I could write about how my dad is awesome and filled the male role in my life to a degree by taking my car to the mechanic for me so I didnt get bamboozled. Something about tits make most auto body shops think they can charge twice as much as normal, or tell you that something is wrong with your car that really isnt. Unfortunately it works sometimes because a lot of women dont know enough about cars to tell the difference. We wouldnt put up with that from the doctor. Imagine if your doctor told you you had insomnia and needed an expensive prescription to solve the problem. First of all, we would know whether or not we had been sleeping, and secondly there are other ways to fix the problem that doesnt even exist in the first place. Gah- me and my crappy analogies. Anyways I know you know what Im trying to say. And that is the beauty of my readers! Yes, even you.

I could write about how much I dislike having full-on conversations via text. if there is really something to say, call me. you obviously have my number. and 140 characters is usually not enough for my lame ass to express what I need to say. I could write about how the instructions on the peanut-butter chocolate chunk bars i am baking say it in english and spanish and it looks like bake in spanish is hornee LOL. I know I am super-lame, never claimed not to be.

But instead of writing about any of those things I will post a couple pics of furniture my parents are selling in case anyone needs a couch and loveseat set or an extendable formal dining room set. Both in great shape. Let me know if you are interested.

the toilet

I am having a problem with my toilet. I know how to fix lots of things like that but this one seems to be the water is flowing back into the tank after a flush waaaaay tooooooo sloooooowly. so like any single woman i went to the world wide web for help. found this article, which didnt address my problem, but the last sentence was worth reading the whole entire article. So read and educate yourselves and maybe my toilet will fix itself.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/95300/how_to_fix_the_toilet_and_impress_the.html?page=2

i stole this rant

from some blog and I really liked it. I know I have felt this way before and sometimes it is jsut simply nice to have my feelings validated. Enjoy:
smart ass
i am not easily offended. but enough is enough.
you think you know everything.just because you are smarter than the average bear does not mean you have the right to judge everyone else. you just form your unsolicited opinions and start plastering labels. does it make your life easier?
i have my reasons for doing what i do, and i don't see how it's any of your business what I do.
i could defend myself.i could give you the reasons why.
you're so uninformed.so shut your face.
you haven't learned everything yet.and yet you sit here and make your inferences and you judge people and you think you've got it all figured out. all you do is blame others for your unhappiness.the bottom line--you're still not happy. no matter who's to blame.you know that you're unhappy and you can even explain itbut for some reason you can't change it and you're still miserable.
funny how the things you're saying that i'm doing wrong are the ones that i've got a handle on and that are making me the most happy.
the smartest person I know, doesn't know shit.

i was doing awesome

at the whole space and distance thing. wrote myself a note, kept busy, and pretended like i didnt care although that whole concept of 'no showing you care' is completely foreign to me. I was doing awesome... until i get to see all about mr mans big all day with his new female friend. No wonder there wasnt enough time to call me or see me. it makes sense now, which really sucks. i asked him if i should be worried, and he didnt answer. i made sure to be considerate (even though i feel i am not being told the whole story) and email during lunch hour so i wasnt interrupting a busy work day. I didnt get any response, so a couple hours later when i felt like i was going to be sick to my stomach about this crap i sent another msg asking could he please jsut answer that question so i could know what the case was. well- its over 6 hours now since the first email and still nothing. had it not been for that blog I could have gone all week with no contact just to show I can; as it is i am afraid to look at his blog now to see what might hurt me next. But as it is I feel like where was the time to make a new friend when there isnt enough time or energy to maintain the friendship that he and I have? How hard is it- if there is nothing but innocent friendship going on- to say 'No babe- everythings fine- she is jsut a geek like me and we have lots in common- shes a cool chick but i am still into you" or whatever the case is. I would feel much better with the whole situation. But as it is I am practically ready to jsut accept it without hearing anything. But as a human i deserve better than that.
I feel discounted whether I was or wasnt by omission. I dont need to know every little thing. I dont want to know every little thing. But when I am turning down dates or dinners out of respect for the person I believe I am seeing exclusively, is it wrong of me to feel it should work both ways? That I shouldnt have to hear about the great time he had with some other chick?
It jsut sucks and it hurts and its my fault for having hope in something between he and I. I jsut want him to be happy and obviously I havent been making him happy.
Its jsut so hard to let go of something that felt so right when we were together. For some reason I thought our differences were complementary and not divisive. Guess I was wrong on that.
Im not saying everything I did was perfect- far from it- but I was completely honest about what I wanted at all times. Do you know how impossible it is to be anything to someone who never expresses anything? He always asks- Do I ever ask anything of you? No- he takes what he wants- which is space- and didnt tell me that was what was going on. How am I not supposed to think something is going on? And jsut when I was reassured abnd believing him, I make the mistake of reading his blog.
Now the logical chick in me says that of course there is nothing going on because he always told me he doesnt blog about his personal life. So this occurence on the blog shouldnt mean anything. So why cant i listen to my logical side? Because my gut is telling me differently. Makes sense that a guy would say that when you are not good enough for him to write about you... until you are out of the picture. Logic vs. Gut? We will see who is right.
Once upon a time things were great. I would love for things to be great with him again. But the secretive vague neutral not-giving-a-shit persona that he has become lately hurts alot because I know how it feels when I can tell he cares about me. He used to tell me he likes me, im sexy, im this, im that, blah blah blah, he used to share himself with me. Now it seems he is busy sharing himself with someone else. And its not like the good times were years ago- we were fine even a month ago. Frustrating.
Guess i turned him into being just like anyone else- not caring enough about me as a human being to be straight with me and either respect me or let me be. And before you go saying what a bunch of drama and crap- its not. These are my feelings and you can take them or leave them. Drama would be ringing the phone off the hook in disrespect of guy night just to get an answer. I asked once, then asked for my answer, and now I am leaving it alone. This is my blog here and I am venting from my heart.
Hes a great guy and I am the fuck-up yet again. I can talk big like- whatever your decision is- its fine with me, I jsut want to know rather than not know... but honestly either way hurts equally bad. Why do I let some people affect my heart? When am I going to learn?

wish i thought of it first

what a job

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=414001&in_page_id=1879

Miscellaneous shout-outs

Hey you-know-who:
I did not watch Charlie the Unicorn as I was instructed to do this weekend. So please do not quiz me. Maybe later this week.

My dearest anonymous:
Wish you were closer- I miss you tons and think you are beyond fabulous!

Original Banksta:
You are and will always be my #1 pimpstress. Lets toast soon!

Love always,
That Girl

Weekend #3 in the sun :)

Remember on my list of ten things, that one of them was to spend at least four weekend days at the lake, beach, pool, etc.?
Well I have done 3 out of 4. The last two weekends I have spent a ton of time in the sun and have raccoon eyes to show f0r it. Yesterday was the gig harbor parade and kk and i went and hung out with keith from her class and his dad- a couple of great guys. talked the whole time and had a blast. of course he is married. ho hum.
Every year at the parade the cutters point truck is in the parade and the owner aaron who i went to high school with goes behind the truck and throws out regular bags of coffee beans to the crowd and it is always a big hit. he doesnt throw out very many so its rare that ayone i know ever gets the beans. but this year, i caught the beans! yeah i know it doesnt take much to make me happy LOL. although others would tell you differently.
So after the parade we hurried to the baseball field for team pictures and kk's game and morgan and tony came too. it was nice to have someone else there to cheer for kk. i feel like a bad mom because she is the only one on her team that doesnt have at least two parents showing up for games. i wonder if she notices. Anyways morgan was quite a scene. She is due tuesday so she is the size of a small mansion and she was hollering for kk every time she was up to bat or fielding. it was so funny- kk kept getting all embarrassed but i think she secretly liked the attention. Tony and I were throwing the football around which I love to do but I dont own a football so i dont get to do that too often. Then after kks game we came home and put on swimsuits and went to the lake with morgan, tony, and some of tonys friends. tony is a good guy and i am glad that he and morgan found each other. i never would have pictured her with him but they work really well together. i guess there is someone for everyone. met another great guy, one of tonys friends but of course he is already snatched up too. he kept wanting to argue with me which for some reason i found kinda hot LOL but maybe it was the mental stimulation i had been lacking recently that made the arguing pique my interest. anyways we had a good time, bbq at the lake and more football. Got hit in the forehead with the ball one time but i had a bit of sunburn so you couldnt even tell haha. beer and meandering and then home for the evening.
Sunday we got up early and I was planning on working all day. I had made arrangements for kk to go to a friends house between morning and evening church so I could work because there is a ton to do getting ready for our new system that supposedly I am implementing...
So anyways i stayed two hours late friday and did all the mom/fun stuff saturday so i could work all day sunday, then three hours into what I had to do sunday to be ready for monday, the power went out. So we went and had a margarita waiting for the power to come back on and it never did. So now I am way behind and I will try to go in early tomorrow but the earliest I can get there is 645 since kks daycare doesnt open till 630 at the earliest. But I will try because there is just so much to do. I wanted to be all done but it is jsut not going to happen. But who knows what the power of caffeine can do for me in the morning? Sunday ended by picking up kk at church and packing up another load of stuff into the car. I have no clue how I am going to get it OUT of the truck and into my house, but when I went to pick up my coatrack and load it into the back of the truck it was so heavy. But I took a deep breath and did it. Guess i am a little tougher than i thought :)

Not quite sure what the rest of the week brings other than getting teased for my raccoon sunburn face and some uncomfortable peeling. Im not editing this post because i dont feel like it so sorry if it is non-sensical rambling.

Stevie Nicks' 'Landslide' is such a beautiful song. Have a great week readers and friends!

In desperate need...

Of man/men to help me move my heavy things. Being the single female that I am, I have no man to move stuff :( So I am hosting an open casting call for temporary Man Of The Day. There are really only three heavy things I need help with- my washing machine, tv, and mattress, but you are welcome to help with more if you wish! Beer and Pizza for you if you do... or meal of your choice! Or if you would rather just have like $20 or something let me know.
Thanks in advance! Message me on yahoo at s/n: prettymisses.

Hey anyone who doesnt want to help, add me anyways :)