Previously Recorded

Today was slightly better

2009-08-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am finally growing up enough to realize that it is totally okay to have no one around than to have sub-standard people in my life. The problem is, I spend waaaaaaay too much time alone. The other problem is that the longer I am single, the higher my standards become. But is that really a problem? Feedback please :) Except I don't have any readers anymore. Boo.

Peace and Quiet

2009-08-26T22:21:00.000-07:00

I miss my best friend. I need that face time. The communication via text, email, and online chatting is just soooooo not the same. The context is missing and we both are so sarcastic that everything seems to get turned around and one or both of us ends up hitting a nerve or getting our feelings hurt. Why is my friendship with him different than any friendship I have had in my life? Every day he is gone sucks. I don't see how the huge change in one friendship can make me so damn miserable all the time.
I have no answers. I am just sad, mad, lonely no matter whos around, and feel incomplete. How did this get so twisted?

Two in a row!

2008-05-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

Hi there...
TGIF! I am soooo tired- I dont know how yall ladies with children plural do it. I only have one and it is like- go to bed already so I can!
So tonight Wonder Woman, Frenchie and I went to PV for dinner and a drinkie. Yummmmm- I had been craving those enchiladas for over a week now! I have the worlds best friends. I hope I am as good of a friend to them as they are to me :)
So I like someone. Yeah, big deal, I have ever since I met him over a year ago but it has just been the last 6 months or so that I was really really romantically interested in this person. So I dont technically work with this person but I do work near him... and it makes me wish I could go to work every day. I do not look forward to the weekends because I miss him. So I will give myself till the last day of May for something to either move forward or end. I have thought about this before and ugh I dont know if I can stick to it but I am going to try. Wish me luck... and get ready to read about either a very happy or a very sad me in blogs to come. It is temporary, self!
Have a great weekend...

and now May...

2008-05-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

How are you?
I am doing the same ole stuff... loving my lame job, loving my badass friends, wishing the M's better skills, and wondering why my house is not on autoclean.
Here is whats new with me/us:
1. I got a new laptop! I love it, although Vista SUCKS! This was a bday oresent from my folks and I am very excited as I will finally be able to write the book I have been promising Korin for years. How will I write a book when I cant even blog more than once in a month? Hmmm good question, readers (are there any of you left even???)
2. I made my first coconut cream pie and everyone really liked it :) I only started one small fire trying to properly toast coconut for the topping, but it was easy to throw away and start over.
3. KK is in baseball. She is doing really well and loves it. She is not afraid to compete against and play with the boys. She is a fighter! i am so proud.
4. My control freak ass got to run the company while the bosses were in Chicago for a week. I had so much fun! Cant say the same for anyone else... but it was so relaxing to actually have a handle on things, and I think people had a good time :) hey it was a short vaca for us too, give us a break!

So what is NOT new with me?
1. School- still in it, still passing both classes by the skin of my teeth- please keep wishing luck upon me as I try to pass English!
2. Love life- still not seeing anyone, still hoping for a chance with the friend I have a thing for, we will see what happens.

hey- if you are out there and still read me, let me know!

It's April now

2008-04-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

Not much to say.
I did pick three out of the final four contestants on Make Me a Supermodel, as you can see if you look back a couple months posts. Go me. Holly won that show. I hope she learns how to speak in public because she is a gorgeous model. I would hate to have my reputation decline every time I opened my mouth.
So I am crushing hard on this one guy and don't have the guts to say anything to him but man it makes it really hard to concentrate or get anything done over the majority of my week. I am waiting to see if it wears off or if eventually I open my stupid mouth and ruin a friendship.
Baseball season is upon us and this morning was spent beautifying kk's home field. Ha I put more work into that thing in a day than I put into my whole yard all Spring. Shoveling, sweeping, weedwhacking, weeding, trimming, hacking, and getting rained on. Feels good :)
So what's up with you?

sparks

2008-03-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

Are sparks necessary?
You know, that feeling in your stomach when you look at someone or remember certain happenings and you feel like you are going to puke, but in a good way? Well that is how it feels for me sometimes.
What I am wondering is whether a nice, stable, dependable and still passion-filled relationship is enough, or if there has to be sparks. The thing about sparks is that they usually don't care about dependability, fidelity, or stability. They are jsut either there or they aren't. That may be what my failed relationships had in common- plenty of spark and no common sense.
I don't want to grow old with someone who I simply have a spark with. I want a healthy, devoted, best-friend type with whom I can also have awesome sex.
I know that I need to lead with my head, and be able to follow with my heart, but I am having trouble knowing whether a little bit of spark can sustain a relationship, or if it is failed from the start.
What are your guys' experiences with spark and it's necessity for long-term?

I am a little behind

2008-03-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

in posting anything about any men in my life. Mostly there has been nothing going on there, but I did meet a great guy a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately he lives in Nebraska. I met him when he was here visiting family. He is such a good guy that if he was here I would definitely bring the A-game to that situation.
After two wonderful days together and a depressing week beating myself up about why do I do this to myself, I still have no good answer. Is it better to have a great experience and then miss the person I had it with, or is it better to not meet people at all unless somehow I can know ahead of time that they are mentally and physically available to attempt a friendship-growing-into-more thing?
Blah. So I end up missing this guy and just being mad at myself. Yes I am glad I made a new friend. No I am not glad that I know there is one more great guy out there that is not for me.
In other news, I have a cold and I am in charge of inventory again tomorrow. So I have to make sure I find my Aleve Cold and Sinus because, in case you have forgotten from 140 posts ago, it is one of God's blessings to the Earth.
Wish me luck... at finding the Aleve, at having a good inventory, and at not worrying about love.

My new addition

2008-03-01T17:33:00.001-08:00

OK I started typing this post February 20th but am finishing it today:

Here is what I did today:

So this is my first tattoo. There is a story behind it but I don't have time to write that right now as I am doing the mom thing of laundry, looking up a doctor online, making a snack for kk and two friends, texting a new person, and wearing in my new Marc Fishers with the 4.5inch heels.

Crock Pot

2008-02-17T14:14:00.000-08:00

So I got one. I suppose now I am to cook in it, or with it, ro whatever the correct verb is there.
What I need from you guys is a good recipe or two to try it out and see how exactly this thing goes down. Yes, it came with a cookbook, but the recipes I have seen so far are either a million ingredients, or putting meatballs and bbq sauce in and 8 hours later you have meatballs with bbq sauce.
Any good ones?

I was in the paper

2008-02-15T23:47:00.000-08:00

but it was a long long time ago. Not often do I get recognized for something in my professional life. I think the only other big achievement of my career thus far was not getting shot during as armed robbery.
Read if you would like... the link is here mostly for preservation :P

http://kpbj.com/report/articles/2005-03-03-RPT-08.html

I forgot to brag

2008-01-31T22:51:00.000-08:00

Kk was sent home with two forms the other day- one was a questionnaire for me to fill out pertaining to the second form. The second form was a permission slip for kk to be tested for her school district's gifted program. I am so proud that they honored my daughter with the chance to be tested! Like mother, like daughter! :D
When I took the forms out of her bag and asked her how many kids in her class got them, I asked somewhat sternly so she would answer honestly. She said two. So only two out of 27 kids in her class (I know, 27, it's horrible!!!) were asked to test.
Way to go KK! Good luck testing!

Plane Tickets

2008-01-31T21:29:00.000-08:00

We bought our plane tickets to AZ/LV today- We are going in june after school gets out. how exciting! I wonder which fish will die while we are gone this time.
I will have to make sure that my school is out by then. I know unless we have a bunch of school days between now and then, we will be able to go no problem. Whoopee!
Don't you think they should sell a Vanilla Ding Dong? Just like the chocolate one, only with white cake and vanilla frosting and coating instead?
Someone do it. Make it happen. I won't even be upset that you stole my idea. Just give me some free ones and we can call it even.
So today is the first day that we go to an 8am-4pm flat schedule at work. I am not happy about it but I am not the boss so I have no say in the matter. If I don't like it that much, I can leave. The downside is I think I might fail at whether I can do my job or not, and I really don't want to fail, because I KNOW that under the right circumstances, I can do the job, no problem. Unfortunately, the right circumstances include a couple pretty significant staffing changes, which are also not up to me. Sigh.
Anywho, I do look forward to being off at a certin time every day. My daycare bill might even go down. No more leaving the house by 545am. The earliest I will ever have to leave is 730. I am grasping for a silver lining here.
I am thankful and fortunate to be physically and mentally healthy enough to work, and I realize my fortune at being able to do something I love, even if it will no longer allow me financial security. It was a nice month and a half though!

congratulations

2008-01-29T19:15:00.000-08:00

Morgan and Tony got engaged today, on Morgan's lucky bday! Yay! I love these two together. Hope it lasts forever!!!

Would you ever get plastic surgery?

2008-01-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever? I have not gotten any appearance-altering surgery. I did have a nose job but that was all on the inside of me and I didn't notice any change in how I looked.
I think I would rather look exactly how God intended me to look. Yes I would like the flab on my ass gone. Yes I would love to have a cute nose and a flat tummy and my perfect in every way 18yr old boobs back. I think I look alright, even if I am not the exact idea of what society's males think a woman should look like, and I think I will never have plastic surgery. there are plenty of size 2 girls who wish they were pretty like me.
A girl in our China office told me recently "There is no such thing as ugly woman, only lazy woman." I pretty much agree with that.If you put enough effort into it, almost anyone can be pretty. But I would rather be happy.
And if it came between sleeping in for an hour, and getting up to spend an hour putting my face on, well, I think you can guess where I stand. In related news, putting mascara on while driving is just as easy as putting it on standing in front of a mirror. And it saves time :) But put your coffee down first.

And now for something that makes me laugh...

2008-01-25T20:15:00.001-08:00

I stole this from a blog I read. The more hearts it touches- the better :P

Grand Canyon

2008-01-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

So my mom called today and regurgitated an idea back to me that I had a month or so ago about taking a trip to the Grand Canyon. Referencing a prior post about wanting to take kk to a bunch of places before she gets much older, my mom suggested that they drive down there and kk and I fly down there and we meet at the airport and go to the Grand Canyon. It sounds great. Now the challenge is going to be affording this. But by then, I will have a week of paid vacation I can and should take, and a week down there would allow me a couple days to go to vegas. Now if only I had a friend who would want to go to vegas with me for two or three days...
So yay- I love travelling, and this way everyone wins- we won't have to rent a car down there because my parents will already be there, it sounds like so much fun. So I can't wait to do my taxes and find out if I will really be able to afford this.
If you have been to the Grand Canyon and/or Vegas and have any travel tips, please comment them to me. Thanks!
Off to check airfare!

Oh yeah I forgot

2008-01-20T23:19:00.001-08:00

We went up to Hurricane Ridge in Port Angeles today to take kk skiing for the first time.

We left the house at 11am and finally got up there shortly after 2, jsut to find out that the road to the top, which had been open when I called before we left, was now closed. Big bummer.

So we drove back down to the bottom of the hill, bought a sled, and drove until as far as we could without running into the closed gate. Had a Ton of fun. We found out kk wants to snowboard, not ski. So now the quest begins to find cheap snowboard stuff online. We had a really fun day.

her is a pic of her in the snow. I am not sure if you can see her badass brown and pink plaid snowboard pants, but they are hella cute!

here are a couple more pics:

kk int he snow again-

and me on our way down with Vancouver Island in the background. It's kind of hard to see but from the sky down, it is clouds, clear sky, Canadian mountains, the Strait of Juan de Fuca, and the town of Port Angeles. What a vantage point!-

Overwhelming Emotion

2008-01-20T23:03:00.001-08:00

I am not a big fan of overwhelming emotion. Especially when the emotions have such negative connotivity. I am having one of those nights.
I keep hating kk's dad. I am so uncomfortable with hatred. It only comes naturally to me in this one instance. I can see how black it makes my heart and I want it gone. I keep asking God to take it away and make it His problem, not mine, because I know that all He wants me to do is ask for His help. But it doesn't go away. I know that things don't happen on my timeline, they happen on God's, so I am not mad at God for leaving me with this darkness in my soul about this matter. I just want it gone.
Another Christmas and birthday come and gone with no communication. He knows how to get ahold of us. I have always encouraged him to communicate with kk, until the last time he did it, and I have never and will never stand in the way of the two of them having the relationship she deserves to have with a dad.
Maybe it never bothered me because my dad has always been around, and he is such a wonderful example of how good men can be, and what they are supposed to do and how they should act. But now that they have moved I have no males to spend time with her and I fear so badly that she will grow up with a skewed view of how important a male's opinion is. I have already seen it with her- and it makes my skin crawl!
I know as far as single moms go, I am one of the better ones. I dont take financial aid of any kind for her, I talk to her all the time about everything, and I try really hard to do guy things with her like teach her about football, or have burping contests, or whatever. But I can't do it all, and I can't replace a dad.
I know how important my dad is to me, and it breaks my heart that kk doesn't have that. I also know how important her dad's dad is to him, which is why I can't understand why he would take that away from his own child.
I have so many questions and no answers and the rage I have about just this one issue eats me up inside. I hate feeling this way. I don't think about it often, but every once in a while something will happen and I have to emote this or it will turn me into a completely negative person.
I jsut hate him, hate the situation, hate wishing he was dead, hate the person it makes me, and I am glad it is not all-consuming. I just distract myself out of it most of the time.
Thanks for listening.

The Jonas Brothers

2008-01-18T23:21:00.001-08:00

In case you want to see the band I have been talking about lately and that I bought kk tickets to the concert for, they are going to be on Jay Leno tonight, and also on Ellen on ummm Monday the 21st I believe. Check 'em out!
That is all for tonight- later gaters :)

Birthday Expenditures

2008-01-17T22:33:00.000-08:00

Wow. The money flows like the Humptulips River around kk's birthday time. Gift, tablecloth, table, chairs, balloons (crap I forgot those,) streamers, cake, cake decorations, goody bag bags, goody bag presents, music to dance to, food to eat, soda to drink.
Beads to make party favors, regular ones and special ones, invitations, snacks for the grown-ups, games to play.
That is for the kids party. The family party is tacos on Saturday and I always forget onions and jalapenois because I dont eat them! I have to make such a list for tacos.
So I get to buy all this, PLUS I am sure a ton of stuff I jsut cant recall right now. And I can celebrate not having any money left by cleaning my house for strangers I may not even like!

Thank you, God, for making birthdays only once a year!!!!!!

blah

2008-01-16T22:20:00.000-08:00

yeah all I am doing these days is working, eating, sleeping, and showering. I am glad that I actually like my job when I stay late. I have had to stay alte at jobs before where the minutes jsut ticked by soooo slooooowly. But not this one- there is always a million things to do. Even when I complain about it, I love the change that is always going on.
I have a lot to do still- switch out the laundry, straighten my bangs, ezt some nachos and watch the real world sydney reunion special. better get back to my busy busy night!
Peace out, home slices.

american idol starts again today

2008-01-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

I wish it was on from 7-8 or something like that so kk and I could watch it together without it interfering with bedtime. I jsut think kids need to take their grumpy butts to bed and that family programming shouldnt try to last until 10pm. But I am probably wrong about it being family programming; they are after the 18-49 age group. Oh well- it is mindless entertainment. I should really read more, that should have been a resolution of mine. Maybe next year.
Here I am typing with only one contact in again because my eye is being a pain. So that is it for tonight. Maybe I will have interesting stories down the road... but it's okay if I don't! That means my life is drama-free... which is how I want it. :)

So I joined match.com

2008-01-14T22:22:00.000-08:00

and see a couple of nice options on there, but haven't connected with anyone but one guy. I saw someone saturday night that I have known for going on a year and a half now, which isnt too terribly long, but even they noticed a change in my confidence level when it comes to guys. It is down!!! I just dont know what to do anymore to not let it bother me. It sucks. I think I am having a PMS day today because it is really really getting to me to be here by myself. Who knows- with today's depression and Saturday's paranoia, I may be documenting my slow decline into some strange, not yet diagnosed mental state.
My mom was mentally ill for a long time but it came on really suddenly with her, so any time I am not like myself I start to get extra worried wondering if this is the time I go crazy like she did. It is very disturbing. I don't see any manic behavior anymore, but I know I used to have it, so maybe I am bipolar in long waves, instead of short. That would definitely explain my newfound ability to save money and not spend it.
I am so glad I believe in God. I know for sure I would be a basket case if I didn't have Him to put all my worries on. I know He never lets me be completely alone. I know He has big plans for me and it is up to me to trust Him and whatever crazy steps it takes to get to my big plans. i think I will just go to bed and pray to feel better.

Wow this post is a little all over the place.

Paranoia

2008-01-13T22:23:00.001-08:00

ruined my night out on Saturday. It was the weirdest thing as I am not normally paranoid. But I couldn't shake the feeling like something bad was going to happen and I had no clue what. So I became the world's worst passenger thinking every car was going to hit us, and when T dropped me off at my car I checked the far back and all the windows and my secret hiding spots to make sure everything was in order. I kinda freaked out all the way to K's house just feeling like I needed to get somewhere and once I was settled and off the road, everything would be fine. And it was! It was just a sucky feeling to be suspicious of everything. I am glad I am not normally like that.
Now to sleep to make up for my wacky weekend schedule.

Today's results...

2008-01-12T17:12:00.001-08:00

All I will say about it is this: Any game that starts off that well is destined to end horribly.

In other news- We stood in the cold wet SNOW for nearly 4 hours but ended up with 16th row tickets. Yay for us! I am finally warm again, 7 hours after being able to come inside from the cold. So while we were standing in line after not getting lotery bracelets, after having people walk past and say that they were sold out, or out of bracelets etc., I had my mom call and get us some over the phone- which were kinda crappy, kinda decent seats (hey, something is better than nothing!!!) so we have two extra tickets. So if anyone knows anybody who wants to go to the Jonas Brothers concert in Everett Feb 5th, I have two seats available. I will sell them at face value if it is to someone who is a friend or a friend of a friend, or even an acquaintance of a friend. They are inexpensive enough I dont need to make a profit off of them. If I cant sell them for face value then I will probably jsut take two friends for free. I am so excited!!!!!
I am so proud of kk for not complaining. It was soooo cold, we were hungry, thirsty, had to pee, and all throughout she was a trooper. It's these little life lessons, like the worth of deviting a snowy saturday morning that helps teach her that some things you really have to work for, even if it is such a non-necessity like concert tickets.
Besides the unfortunate event mentioned in line one of this post, it is an awesome day so far!!! KNOCK ON WOOD.

kk's nails

2008-01-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

My name is Leslie, and I am a nail-biter. (Hi, Leslie)
I have always bitten my nails and have tried lots of things to stop, but it seems to always boil down to the point that I forget I am trying to stop and notice towards the end of biting off whatever progress I have made that dang- I did it again!
It has been very frustrating and I have pretty much accepted the fact that I am a nail biter and that really there are bigger things to worry about than trying not to bite my nails.
Anyways- my daughter happens to have beautiful, strong, naturally shaped nails and she is NOT a biter. Yay! So when we went over to my parents for Christmas, I treated her to her first real manicure at the Butter London salon at the airport. She immediately chose the brightest, reddest red polish they can find, it's official name is Go To Bed Red (nice, right?) which is her usual choice when I do her nails too. But then the manicurist asked her if she wanted sparkles, so she chose gold sparkles to go under her bright red. They looked so pretty. So that manicure lasted until this week when her nails started looking pretty ratty again, so now they are a glossy watery green-blue.
I am so glad she doesn't bite her nails.

Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel

2008-01-10T22:02:00.000-08:00

My top picks for the guys are Perry and Ben, with Perry finishing first. For girls is Holly and Sarah, with Holly finishing first. That's all on that.
In other musings, today I hated my job. Alot. Like tons and tons. Like enough to take all my personal belongings home.
In unrelated news, I went tanning at lunch and burnt myself on 12 minutes. Ugh- will I ever learn? Well, obviously i learned something because I had the aloe vera gel on standby.
More tomorrow perhaps...

Plans for Saturday

2008-01-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

So kk and I are going to get up early enough to leave the house at 5:40am, to catch the Kingston-Edmonds ferry at 6:25am, and get to Everett at 7:30 to stand in line for a bracelet to maybe get front 20 row tickets to see the Jonas Brothers in concert in February for kk's bday. I wouldn't do this if I wasn't a fan myself. Well, maybe I would, but we will never know because I happen to be a fan. I hope there are not a ton of people there before us. I am excited!!! Kk doesnt know. I will let her sleep in the car and tell her we are going to breakfast or something.
I will let you know how it turns out.
Today we went and ordered kk's bday party invitations. She is having a Hannah Montana bday party, so if any of you have any ideas for games or activities, let me know. I have to pick out some cool cake- I have had a personal cake done for her every year and I am not about to stop now? If you look at last February's post you can see last year's Barbie pool party cake. Yes, I will more than likely make two trips to Gig Harbor from here just to get the cake ordered, then again to pick it up the day of the party. I'm sure they will do a microphone cake. Again- throw ideas at me if you have them, and I will post pictures after the celebration, which isnt for a while still.

My left eye

2008-01-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

has really been hurting lately. It always feels not quite like there is something in it, but rather that my contact is dirty and annoying my eyeball. I clean and clean and clean my contact but it keeps getting dirty. This is only one week into an extended wear, night-and-day contact. OW!
Its making me crabby- and with not sleeping well my eyes are tired anyways.
That's all I have to say for today.
Oh, except that my mom emailed me and at the top she meant to put Honey, but instead she put Homey,. That gave me a good laugh.

My daughter is getting older...

2008-01-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

...and I feel this overwhelming pressure to get as much quality time in before the teenage years come ruin everything. I remember going with my parents on a two-week California adventure when I was 9 and being completely mortified by their presence at most of the places we went.
I keep thinking of adventures I want to take her on but everything costs so much money so I am going to have to make a little goal that is actually achievable.
I want to take her to Yosemite, the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, China, on a cruise... I have always lived my life that yes, things are nice, but I want the intangible experiences of life more than I want the trinkets that come along with life, and I want that for my daughter too.
Lots to think about. Can't she just stay 7 or 8 for a couple more years?

It only took 5 days

2008-01-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

for me to blow one of my resolutions- the one to blog every day! I'm sure that is not a new record, but I still thought I would last longer than that! Oh well, time to get back on the wagon.
Great weekend for football, wasn't it? Lots of big plays and big wins. Go Hawks!
So what did you do this weekend? I shopped, ate, napped, went to work for a bit, went out by myself Saturday night, drunk-texted, told a waiter he needed to move us before I punched a lady in the teeth, and cleaned the house. Typical weekend. Oh yeah, we also took the Christmas tree down. Wow, cleaning up Christmas goes so much more quickly when my daughter has three friends over! hahaha Little slaves, they are!
So anyways, I thought I would share with you some of the lovely things I have acquired lately, between Christmas and just spoiling myself. No wonder this shopaholic is always broke.
Here is a watch I bought myself when I got my promotion. It slides around like a bracelet and sparkles like diamonds, but the stones are not diamonds, they are crystals, which combine with the dial to power the sun through solar energy. Sweet, right?
Here is a ring my mommy bought me because she loves me. For some reason she made the point that it wasn't for Christmas when she bought it for me at Thanksgiving. So I am jsut assuming it is because she loves me.
Speaking of love, here is a truck she bought my dad. I think he had it for ummmm 6 weeks before he got in an accident which took a big chunk out of the front end. Nice, huh? Thank God for car insurance.
Here is my current snack food of choice. I seem to go through some sort of withdrawl when I don't have any for a while. Like my body is resetting itself to NOT be loaded down with too much sodium! :P
Here is not a picture of my new vest. I couldn't find a pic, so I will jsut tell you about it. It is black and a puffy down vest, but not overly puffy like the marshmallow man, and it has a hood that is fur (polyester fake fur)-trimmed. I wanted it for the longest time, but it was $210 and that is too much for anybody to pay for a vest, IMHO. So I only paid $84 for it at Macy's one day sale over the weekend. Booyah, suckers!
Here are my new Coach shoes (only mine are not shown- they are shiny black logo print over matte black)and my new Roxy shoes (only mine are black with a white toe). Also on sale. Very comfy. And pretty. And mine!
Here is a D&G bag I really want but will never be able to afford. They had it at Nordstrom in a variety of colors. It is called the Miss Bye Bye bag, which is funny because I was going to use it as a carry-on when I go see my folks or if I ever get adveturous and go anywhere else. I would love it in white, but the orange is pretty fierce, too.
Here is the Coach purse for daily use I also want really bad and also will never be able to afford. I want the blue one. It's so pretty. Sigh.
Ah. Now I can go to bed happy thinking about all the wonderful things I have. Oh yeah, my daughter and my health, too. LOL joking!

Cool Mom Points

2008-01-04T22:59:00.001-08:00

I earned some major cool mom points today with kk. When I picked her up from daycare, I asked her where she wanted to go for dinner. She said Seattle (which was not really an option, but she is an original thinker.) So I said okay, much to her surprise (and my own!) and we drove down to the dock, got a Starbucks, and hopped on the ferry for the hour-long ride into downtown. I didn't really have a plan but sometimes that is the funnest part. I used to do this kind of spontaneous stuff all the time before I was a mom, and it was kind of thrilling when we were on the ferry to Seattle and hit some hydro-turbulence and I went to call my mom and tell her about it when i saw my phone had died. There is that very brief moment of what did i jsut do when you realize that no one knows where you are and you dont have your cell phone. But for me that fear is gone in .5 seconds.
So we got off the ferry and walked down to the Olde Curiosity Shoppe where I got to show KK the mummies and I got her name engraved on a piece of rice and put into a necklace. That was way cool for her because she can never find anything with her name on it, it always has to be specially made since I messed with the spelling of her name so badly. Then we talk to the cashier about where we should go for dinner and he suggested a couple places but I knew there was a fancy Ivar's right down the street on the pier. So that is where we went.
KK and I shared an appetizer of dungeness crab chevre parmesan fondue dip (OMG YUM) and the bread they brought was yummy rosemary bread, so the meal was off to a perfect start. Fopr our entrees, KK had Junior pasta, which was bowties in light butter and parmesan, but she forgot she doesnt like parmesan unless it is entirely melted and she doesnt know its there, so she didnt eat much. I on the other hand ate every last bite of mine. I had the seared wild Alaskan Coho Salmon (without the brussels sprouts) which was flashed in a sherry glaze and served over a bed of their bacon and fingerling potato hash... and you know how deep my feelings for bacon are. So yes, I ate the whole thing and I was soooo stuffed. But KK and I have a tradition every time we dine at seafood restaurants we end the meal by sharing a creme brulee. So in the name of tradition... I am lucky I didn't bust the button off my pants!
When we finished we did some shopping at the Exclusively Washington store, where I bought a seafood cookbook and KK got some postcards for her pen pal. We cought the ferry back just in time and were home by 10pm. Thankfully I didnt get too lost trying to find my car as it was pouring and raining sideways when we docked.
KK had a great time. So did I. My kid is way good company!

Crushin...

2008-01-03T18:29:00.001-08:00

Having a harmless crush is fun. Duh. But I seem to have a particular knack for it. I am the best at 'chance' encounters, eye contact, endearing myself to guys as the 'friend who is a girl' harmless type, all those things you must do when you have a crush. And what better place to have a completely innocent crush than work?
OK, besides the fact that work is my only outing besides going to the grocery store, there are plenty of smart, attractive, funny men at my work. OK, not plenty, three. But three is enough to keep rotating! Haha. But what I am wondering is whether a crush is counterproductive when it is on someone who is in my league. I mean, if I think they are cute, funny, and sweet enough to be crushing on them, why wouldn't I try to see if there could be some mutual interest?
i think the answer is probably because I am sooooo terrified of liking someone and them not liking me back. As long as it stays a crush, no one knows of my interest, so there can be no rejection. Hmmm. Don't feel like delving much deeper into the psycho-babble of that one!
Thoughts?

A little surprise... maybe...

2008-01-02T23:27:00.000-08:00

OK so don't tell my dad, but I got all signed up to go back to school and I may get my 2yr degree in the Spring. I am not telling him just in case it doesn't happen. I would rather have it almost happen and then make him rush out for graduation! For those of you who have been reading for a while, you may know that I registered at Olympic College in the Fall to go this coming Spring, since I know myself, and that is about how long it takes me to get my proverbial shit together.
So today in the mail I received my financial aid award letter, so I have been granted funds to complete this degree and if I play my cards right, I won't have to pay as much as I thought to complete this degree that has taken FOREVER to get. I am waiting for my transcripts to make it from TCC to OC so I can get a proper degree audit. I hope I don't find out that I will need to take a ton of classes that I don't know about. I have like 145 credits towards my 90-credit degree... so something has got to work out!
The schedule says Spring quarter is from March 31st to June 11, and although I don't know when or what classes I will be taking yet, I do know that childcare is always the issue, and has been the two other times I thought I was in my last quarter of college. So please, I am begging you, if you are local and know any sitters, or want to do a childcare swap, or just feel like helping me out, let me know. I am taking volunteers! I will pay you too. I really really need to do this this time. It is getting ridiculous!
I remember when I told my dad I was pregnant right after I turned 19, and I will never forget the disappointed look on his face as he told me he was worried that I would never be able to finish school and get a decent job. I feel like finishing school, even just a 2yr degree, will finally alleviate some of that disappointment. So what I would like to do, and I already okayed this with my mom, is just work hard all quarter, don't even mention school to my dad, then when I am passing and can graduate, invite them out for a visit, and then have my mom just take him to the graduation ceremony place so he can see me walk. How sweet would that be? There's nothing I want more right now.
...
Which makes me think maybe now is not the time for a boyfriend or relationship. Dammit. Is it ever the time?

Was I supposed to work today?

2008-01-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

I could not for the life of me figure out why they weren't showing a new episode of The Amazing Race tonight... until I realized it was Tuesday and not Sunday. Not much good on tv on Tuesdays... but kk and I watched a Lifetime movie called Gracie's Choice, which I couldn't understand why she wanted to watch, but ended up being a really cute movie. The plot was a little dramatic, but the acting wasn't as over the top as most Lifetime movies.
In unrelated news, the new season of Rock of Love starts January 13th on VH1. Let me know if you are watching and we can compare notes. Although I will have to be reminded to take a sedative before any episodes Lacey is in... for some reason she brings out my "That skank needs punched" side.
So I bought myself a dozen roses yesterday and split them up into three vases so my whole house smells yummy and they look gorgeous. I am okay with buying them for myself. I think. Yuck- let's not go there right now.
So in ten glorious hours I will be back at work. It is such a place of mixed feelings lately. I need for it so badly to move to a different stage and out of the crappy one it is in right now, and I am hoping the next two weeks will change the path it is on. I have a specific goal in mind to achieve by the end of the month but it is all resting on one thing. Sorry for being vague- a very short girl I used to work with taught me not to say anything at all that could be misinterpreted! She's a stupid loser. Not much room for interpretation there folks :)
So speaking of being a loser, can anyone tell me if they think it is normal that I feel like a loser because I have no realistic plans to become a home-owner any time soon? Sometimes I feel that my sense of what I am supposed to be doing with my life is so skewed from being a teen mom that I really don't know what normal is. Sigh. It was nice to be able to buy a fake Christmas tree this year and put presents under it that I bought with all my own cash, good presents even, and I know it's not all about money, but a lot of future goals are financially based. I really have no clue.
I want to save up and take kk to China. Now that I know a couple people there in the same province, I think it would be really fun and educational for both of us. Also, kk is a dragon and they revere dragons as good leaders, which would be really fun to learn all about. Any hints about that?

1/1/2008

2008-01-01T01:28:00.000-08:00

I will have to get used to typing that! Also, maybe one of my resolutions should be to start using punctuation while typing again. I will give it a shot and you readers will be able to tell how that one is going for me!
So of course, one of my resolutions will be to blog every day. If Korin can do it and she has three more people to take care of than I do, why can't I? No reason! So consider this your warning that incredibly lame and boring things lie ahead (well, if I am going to be blogging about my life, anyways!)
I was trying to think of a really good resolution and one that is both achievable and challenging... which nixes money managing and weight loss... and I think I came up with one: to figure out what makes me happy, and then figure out how to make it happen without having to try to terribly hard. The challenge for me here is that I am incredibly lonely, which makes me very unhappy, and I know that a big part of me being happy is to not be lonely... but its not really something that I want to force to happen, so I don't know, it will be a real challenge for me. I know that being the mother of a smart, healthy, happy child should be all it takes to be happy, but I think I am not the only one out there who knows it takes more than that. Not that I wouldn't give up my happiness for her, but I shouldn't have to. You know?
So here is to getting happy, blogging daily, and using punctuation.
Best of wishes to you and yours for a lovely 2008!

short and sweet

2007-09-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

i have been working my hiney off at work (and after work on data conversion worksheets from home) and will resume posting when i have the energy to do anything else besides sit and sleep. love you all!

PS you arent missing anything trust me, except i saw Kyle last night, which means something to some of you and nothing to others

Remind me again to write about the dentist who tried to kill me. It isnt slander if its true, right? or is it libel? im so sleepy i am confused. who am i?

note to a guy

2007-08-28T22:19:00.001-07:00

the first thought that comes into my mind is you and your friends are all morons. except what you write about your girlfriend- she seems cool- and i know she must be very patient and maternal to put up with your big ego. its okay- i know my role in your life, even when you told me differently, was to give you an escape- a flat in the city- where life was different and sex was great. for you at least.
i still occasionally peruse your blog when i have an inkling of self doubt about moving on from you as quickly as you did me. well- as we both know it was a fabulous decision on your part to sneak around behind my back and be deceptive about both your actions and your intentions.
im sooooo glad that you hate kids and hate the thought of ever having kids because a: as you freely admit, you are way to selfish to ever be a parent, and b: the world doesnt need any more obese children.
when i wanted to gag the first time i saw you in person, that really should have been my first clue that something was not right with this picture. the fact that i was interested in you DESPITE your physicality doesnt speak much for either one of us, as it means i was deceiving myself.
so thanks again for being around when i was too busy to find anyone better or more appropriate for me, and you are welcome for the same thing.
turns out to be a win-win.

this is a very important year

2007-08-25T00:23:00.000-07:00

in shoe history. Salvatore Ferragamo invented the wedge heel 70 years ago, in 1937. Also, the Chanel slingback turns 50 years old this year. Celebration!!!
Thank you, fashion fanatic Stacy London, for bringing this very important information into the public light.

my parents sold their house

2007-08-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

and are moving in a week. i feel abandoned. its a really dark place im in about this, i am trying to be all smiles and sunshine because they are really excited but i can be very upset and happy for them at the same time. i have no family left in the area, and i jsut moved to this town away from my friends. its scary. i have no parachute now. what if someone pushes me out of a plane?

i hate spiders

2007-08-21T23:28:00.001-07:00

i am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. i will warn everyone up front that i WILL run screaming and very possibly crying across the room, down the street, and into the next county if i see one, eventually landing on the closest Very High Thing... which makes perfect sense, because they cant climb, can they? ... anyways there was a humungo one in the garage today, and being the loving and ever so protective mother i am, i sent kk into the garage with a high powered can of aerosol spot shot to kill it for me. then when she missed and it jsut ran away, i gave her my car keys and taught her how to turn on the ignition jsut far enough to roll up all the windows since of course spiders would rather be inside a nice SUV than anywhere else. who wouldnt, really?
so kk comes back inside, then goes out to the garage half an hour later to get Pink Blanket and tells me its baaaaaaack.
so i have her tell me where, this time i grab the spot shot, since i have excellent aim, and drown the fucker. he curls up in a ball and falls to the floor poisoned... or does he? no, he doesnt. he crawls back up, softly singing nana-nana-boo-boo and i give him another dose of the good stuff. this time he falls and i dont see him get up, then again, i dont see him at all, which means he is probably scurrying into my bedroom as we speak. never mind at this point that half a wall of drywall is drenched with a poisonous and fumes are filling the garage, because there is no reckoning with an arachnophobe under attack.
did i tell you that once i called my mom bawling at 3am to drive across town and kill a spider for me? she did. she smushed it all up in a biiiig paper towel and declared its time of death so i could finally become unparalyzed. at that point she came to hug me and comfort me and i thank her for the huge imposition she let me put on her by punching her and screaming dont you dare come near me with that thing. i didnt mean to hit my mom; it was a completely gutteral reaction. sorry mom.
ohhhh she better not read this blog lol.
anyways, long story short, i hate spiders.

but i love this site... wish she would post more. maybe they broke up, who knows.

http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com/

toodles

my dad

2007-08-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

i have to write a special post today- my dad turns 66 and i have to let everyone know how wonderful and fabulous he is. even though he gets on my nerves about the fact that i am a mazillion years old and still cant handle my finances as well as id like to be able to, i love him more than any man on earth and always will. he is how every man should be, in every way, and if i ever meet a man with half the qualities he has, well, i will be out of luck because some other girl will have snapped him up first.
but i keep hope. my mom and dad didnt get married until she was 31 and he was 35. so who knows what the future holds? all i know is i am lucky to have such a great example of how a man should be.
happy birthday dad- i love you!

a forward from my mom

2007-08-19T21:24:00.001-07:00

got this from my mom. it is how to be a good democrat. read and learn ;)

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. (This one is really important)
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists and Iran
4 You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that outdoorsmen don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion o f the Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

Personally i am not in favor of anyone in either party or any nondeclared person being a hypocrite. believe what you want as long as you have an honor system and a logical way to back up your beliefs.
Oh yeah- and keep them to yourself. no good time would be visited upon anyone who ever tried to suspend my child for praying at school.

i am uninspired

2007-08-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

and it is too quiet in this house with kk at her friends house. So instead of watching mroe crappy tv, because ive already seen it all once- even the classic saturday night live episode with the olson twins... i am going to take a personality quiz of some sort and post it here- whether i agree with what it says or not. so here is a strangers insight to me based on what answers i provide the quiz...
this quiz is one that lots of big corporations give in the hiring process:

1. When do you feel your best?
a. In the morning
b. During the afternoon and early evening
c. Late at night

2. You usually walk
a. Fairly fast, with long steps
b. Fairly fast, with short, quick steps
c. Less fast, head up, looking the world in the face
d. Less fast, head down
e. Very slowly

3. When talking to people you
a. Stand with your arms folded
b. Have your hands clasped
c. Have one or both your hands on your hips
d. Touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e. Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with
a. Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b. Your legs crossed
c. Your legs stretched out or straight
d. One leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with
a. A big, appreciative laugh
b. A laugh, but not a loud one
c. A quiet chuckle
d. A sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you
a. Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b. Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c. Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you..
a. Welcome the break
b. Feel extremely irritated
c. Vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a. Red or orange
b. Black
c. Yellow or light blue
d. Green
e. Dark blue or purple
f. White
g. Brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a. Stretched out on your back
b. Stretched out face down on your stomach
c. On your side, slightly curled
d. With your head on one arm
e. With your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are
a. Falling
b. Fighting or struggling
c. Searching for something or somebody
d. Flying or floating
e. You usually have dreamless sleep
f. Your dreams are always pleasant

Score:
Points:
1. a. 2 b. 4 c. 6
2. a. 6 b. 4 c. 7 d. 2 e. 1
3. a. 4 b. 2 c. 5 d. 7 e. 6
4. a. 4 b. 6 c. 2 d. 1
5. a. 6 b. 4 c. 3 d. 5 e. 2
6. a. 6 b. 4 c. 2
7. a. 6 b. 2 c. 4
8. a. 6 b. 7 c. 5 d. 4 e. 3 f. 2 g. 1
9. a. 7 b. 6 c. 4 d. 2 e. 1
10. a. 4 b. 2 c. 3 d. 5 e. 6 f. 1
Now add up the total number of points.
Over 60 points: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care" You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 to 60 points: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 to 50 points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
21 to 30 points: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
Under 21 points: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I scored a 40. What do you think?

quick update

2007-08-16T11:29:00.003-07:00

im home, im alive, i have less teeth, and i only cried once. see you after i wake up :)

wednesday night tradition

2007-08-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

during the summer has become blogging during commercial breaks of top chef. so not really any flow to follow but oh well. i know that predictability is not one of my top 5 best features ;)
ok so i am getting nauseous (one of my hardest words to remember how to spell) thinking about having teeth ripped out of my jaw tomorrow. im very excited but i also freak out at anything dental ever since my dentist tried to kill me 18 years ago. so i am trying to keep myself distracted so i dont overthink anything going into tomorrow.
i jsut feel like commenting right now, maybe talkin a little trash, or who knows- if i talk long enough i may have some kind of epiphany or say something brilliant (dont hold your breath) :P lots of side notes and brain wanders in this blog, yes? (and lots and lots of parentheses!!!)
i am going to go to the top 5 search movers and see what kind of disasters people care about these days:
1. High School Musical 2: Loved the first one- have seen it several times. HSM2 debuts Friday night on the Disney channel and I am going to watch it with kk and however many of her friends want to watch it with us. Troy Bolton is so dreamy... but i still wont let kk get HSM clothes with his face all over them!
2. Consumer Product Safety Commission: Um- how much are we paying these people to jsut find lead in toys now?!? OK to any of you who saw the story about chinese food vendors stuffing cardboard and mixed paper into hamburger buns to save money- im sure you are not surprised by lead paint on toys. No one can keep our kids or us safe all the time- but this was a pretty major oversight. if they can put powder in a tube and mix it with something and if it is cocaine it turns blue like on COPS, you would think they would have some easy kind of test for lead in paint. DUH!
3. Roz Savage: OK i didnt know who this was until just now. I googled her name and came up with some one-legged woman who sailed across the Atlantic alone or soemthing. Boo. Do something really impressive- like find room in my budget for car insurance. kidding folks, kidding.
4. Tropical Storm Erin: Glad I dont live anywhere where stuff like that happens. It is nice and calm up here... where we await The Big One. who knows if it will happen in our lifetimes. not something i care to dwell about. Anyways back to Erin. i jsut dont think i could live somewhere where my home was pounded over and over and over. How many times can you repair and move ahead? I know myself well enough to figure it would beat me down after time. Hope everyone stays safe and this is a little tiny thing that fizzles out by the time it gets to my texan beauty queen.
5. Graceland Mansion: Its being renovated or remodeled and Elvis fans cant go tour most of it to celebrat the anniversary of hir birth or death or something. Yawn.
This is really the 5th most searched term on the web? Its a sad sad world we live in.
OK off to drink a little lemonade as my last thing before surgery. wish me luck!

im sleepy

2007-08-14T23:47:00.001-07:00

but i cant sleep. that has been the problem alot lately. i go to bed at a very decent hour hoping to catch up on sleep but end up never being able to fall asleep. at this point, 1147pm, i have been in bed an hour and a half with no luck. so i thought i would get up, do some stretching, write a short note here, and try again.

its very frustrating not being able to sleep...

ok enough complaining- whoever prayed, prayed loudly! my neck is about 80% better than it was yesterday so i am very thankful for that.

here is a pic for you! kk wavejumping in the ocean on our spring break trip to ocean shores.

stupid me

2007-08-12T22:18:00.000-07:00

ok- so we all know i have been going thru off and on a tremendous amount of pain in my jaw because of my impacted infected wisdom teeth. we also know that mid-july i put my back out and was in the ER and have been healing slowly from that. ok since that isnt enough torture on my body, last night i decided to turn my head to get my hair out of my face and pinched a nerve in my neck. way to go huh.
im so tired of always being hurt or sick one way or another. i know that my back is going to be an ongoing problem for the rest of my life, and i have accepted that and try to be gentle and not overdo anything. my teeth wont be a problem after thursday when they get taken out. but what, now i cant even move my head without hurting myself? wtf is going on here? is this what it is like to get old? how many damn vitamins and suplpements do i need to take to be better? i understand like if my feet hurt cause i weigh more than my feet would like me to- but cmon now- being chubby cant be that hard on my neck! it would have to hold the same amount of weight on my head regardless. so why am i falling apart? i hate this one thing after another crap.
sorry for complaining. im jsut so tired of spending so much time taking it easy. i didnt even get dressed today. i stayed in bed for most of it, and i ahd actually made fun plans for kk and i that thankfully i didnt tell her about so she didnt get all bummed. its jsut really frustrating and hard not to get depressed.
so those of you who want to- pray for healing for my neck. i cannot afford to take any time off work to rest it. thanks.

school supplies- a rant

2007-08-11T23:25:00.000-07:00

piss me off. okay- not the supplies themselves. i love to shop for jsut about anything and office supply-type things are a particular weakness of mine. but school slately take all the fun out of it.
remember when we were kids and the lsit was like- five pencils, a box of crayons, some paper, and a binder? and it was really exciting because we got to get like a Lisa Frank notebook or one with frogs on it or something cool like that?
not anymore. first of all the lsit of required supplies is a page long. wtf?? dont rich people pay taxes so that schools can provide some of this crap? ok maybe i am all wrong. but in addition to everything i have to buy, the last two items on the required lsit are checks- one for an emergency preparedness kit- and one for a social studies magazine or something. oh- and its not jsut a wide-ruled notebook they want its this- and this is verbatim: "3 wide ruled composition books (PRIMARY Mead Cow Print- no spiral)"
ummmmm. ok fine. be specific. because the type of animal print on the notebook of a second grader is a life or death matter, right folks?
ok so i have no problem with wanting it all. i mean- i do the same thing. BUT when i go to three stores- including an office specialty store- and cannot find the cowbook- i am pissed. my blood is boiling. i decide, that with gas being $3 a gallon- i am getting her the staples brand cowbooks and if they dont like it they can kiss my ass. which is exactly what i told the slightly frightened cashier as i doled out my money.
im sorry- $65 worth of required supplies- not counting a backpack ($20) and two required checks ($7) makes $92 i spent on required supplies for kk. not counting the fact that half the crap on her list we already had for some odd reason and didnt cost us anything. Not counting clothes- shoes- a coat... i understand all those expenses!
OK a couple of the items on the list are silly to me. A large box of Kleenex. Ten bandaids. I know these go into a classroom pool and are used as needed. ok fine- small ticket items the bandaids- probably free since i have leftover superman bandaids from when i cut myself assembling a bookshelf back in february. but Kleenex can be like $4. and my kid wipes her nose on her shirt for free! so i am paying for some other kid with allergies and hay fever. sigh. ok bad example but come on now.
last year i got really mad when jsut a couple of the items on the supply lsit were asked to have her name put on them and a note said to NOT put her name on the rest of the items as they would go into a classroom pool. that pissed me off too since i buy kk all crayola stuff. im sorry but anyone who has attempted to color with roseart crayons or no-name crayons knows the difference in quality and colorability i am talking about. why should the $3 crayons that work really good that i bought for my sweet precious daughter go into a pool with some moron kids cheapass crayons that his mom spent 48 cents on because she knows he will break them all anyway? i guess it is a little bit of my recessive capitalist gene i have that says- i bought the good stuff- i should benefit from my decision to do so.
i know im making a mountain out of a molehill... and i am a-ok with that. everything is bought, i am writing her name on every single flipping thing i bought tomorrow with black sharpie OOOH or maybe pink sharpie i dont know i have about 30 diff colors of sharpies since last month i took the 3 girls to old navy and we all bought matching white flip flops and i let them color on them with sharpies. fun cheap project- the markers cost more than the 4 pairs of sandals!
OK cool- getting to use sharpies cheered me up. because really as an adult how often do you get to use sharpies?
so my jaw hurts again- at least the timing is good i can take a perc and go to bed. night all!

Help! My kitchen has The Funk

2007-08-10T23:53:00.000-07:00

there is a smell in my kitchen. i dont know where it comes from. i clean it all the time so there isnt even anything i see that could possibly be making my kitchen smell. any ideas? i am very sensitive to smells and it sucks being here because i smell it over candles, room spray, lysol, everything. i already pour like a cup or two of concentrated bleach down the drain every evening and it is like all it does is make my kitchen smell like bleach for half an hour and then it is back to being smelly. i have no fresh produce out. my bread isnt moldy. my trash is empty, my garbage can is clean. what the heck? someone help me!

college

2007-08-10T23:47:00.001-07:00

ok so before i moved here i looked online to see if there were any extension 4yr campuses around and i couldnt find anything in the area so i was a little bummed that it was jsut another roadblock in my path to a 4yr degree. BUT in the mail the other day came a catalog- called The View (which since i hate that damn show so much i almost had kk throw in the recycling without even looking to see what it was) which is the course catalog for the local community college here. In it there are three 4yr colleges that hold classes at the comm coll which is about 5 minutes up the road from me. how exciting! i mean really- i love school and want more than anything to be able to go back and get a million degrees. i think maybe i will go back to my business degree because it is ok enough as far as interesting to me, and i have all my courses towards that enyways completed from TCC. And i think a business degree is much more attainable than a masters in any psych field in the foreseeable future.
So here is my question to you: What should I major in? You guys know me. well some of you do- and the ones who dont- let me know anyways! maybe you have always thought i would make a good something-or-other and i would have never thought of that if it werent for your contribution. so let me know- i am open to any suggestion.
till next time...

perseids

2007-08-10T23:33:00.000-07:00

for those of you who dont know, the perseid meteor shower is the best chance us washingtonians have for some really good shooting star action. it happens every summer and the peak of action this year will be sunday night early monday morning, with an average view of 60-80 stars an hour. but i thought since it is supposed to be cloudy sunday i would take kk out tonight and see if she saw any.
we drove around for a bit looking for jsut the right star-gazing area- it had to be dark and away from the glow of city lights, and have a view of a big chunk of northeastern sky. we didnt find one so instead we went out in the front yard which actually turned out to have a pretty good view of sky. we were going to lay on the trampoline but it was already dewy. so anyways kk didnt see any but i saw one big bright fast one, and she got to see a satellite which fascinated her... and of course me as well. we will try again tomorrow night- and you should too!
today at work wasnt awful- just awfully busy. i am having fun actually (ssshh dont tell anyone) sourcing and trying to find better pricing on some of our items. this week i think was the first time i really kind of felt like i belonged at work and that i did have a clue what i was doing- like my boss keeps trying to tell me. she always says i am doing so good and that everyone else had walked out by that point out of sheer frustration so good for me for not only still being there- but trying every day to learn more and do better. and for the first time- i felt like i was. dont think i am getting too comfortable tho- things are so fluid the only thing that stays the same is the chaos! but its fun chaos. i hate being bored at work so it is nice to NOT be.
i havent taken any pills for about a week. not like i have a problem with taking too many pills- it jsut seems like there is always something broken on me that needs medication :P just last week- every night i was in such excrutiating jaw pain that it was vicodin, percoset, tylenol, motrin all alternated jsut to be able to sleep thru the pain and function in the morning... and a weak muscle relaxer during the day to stop my back spasms- or at least to allow me to work thru them. did i tell you my jaw pain mysteriously disappeared? it is the weirdest thing. someone out there must have been praying hard!
i want to go to wild waves. i jsut dont want to pay that much money, wait in those lines, or deal with all the screaming bratty kids. i swear- other people are allowed to have kids just to remind me that my own kid is really not that bad! every time we watch supernanny or nanny911 kk and i talk about what brats those kids are and how mean the parents are (which jsut feeds off each other) and i tell her how glad i am she is not like those kids. maybe its not the most PC thing to do but i have never really cared about being PC.
ok that is enough for now- go catch a falling star!

celebration!

2007-08-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

so today is another typical wednesday night blog- where i am writing in between scenes of Top Chef... except for one big change... I turned 10,000 days old today!!!!
happy some-weird-bday to me, to me! a very merry unbirthday :P
so today didnt suck at all because it was payday and i paid a bunch of bills and have a good chunk left over. tomorrow is costco (frozen petite haricots verts- steam them in the microwave add some johnnys popcorn salt and a little spray butter and YUMMMMM) and um some budget mass merchandiser to be named later.
so i got a new curtain rod which is black and scrolly but also like kind of abstract and for a long time i have liked the idea of doing my room in really dark plummish kind of shades and cool crisp white and dramatic swirly black for accents. ill put up pictures in 45 years when its done!

so i got 6.5 of my 10 things accomplished over the last four months. i dont really know how i feel about that. i learned some things though- like how to wax a car, where the beaches and parks are around here, and the 7-11... and the grocery stores... and the home depot... and also not on the list but over the past four months i have learned more about myself as a woman, a mom, an employee, a strong person, a girlfriend-type, a friend, and a daughter. oh yeah- and i learned how to safely transport fish by yourself while moving.
if any advice is needed from any of you fantabulous readers on any of the above- im only a comment away :)
tomorrow i think i will go in-depth on my list of ten and see about more goals for the future.

good night my lovelies!

how YOU doin?

2007-08-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

so work was not so sucky today... could this be the start of a trend? yeah right :P
in other news- the trampoline is all done and trampolining has begun! kk maria gloria and i got about 75 of 84 hooks done and i jsut could not get the rest of them done so i had to rest because my arms felt like they were going to fall off. i was in watching the news or some other lame crap and i heard the girls giggling. i went out front and they were helping my next door neighbor finish up the trampoline. shes strong for a little woman! she said something about having a bunch of frustration to get out so she thought she would take it out on the trampoline. so everyone won in the end. i made pizza and cookies and everyone ate crap food and jumped on the trampoline and finished up an excellent perfect fun summer evening by watching big brother 8 and flipping out. there is a show called- flipping out- i wasnt flipping out lol.
yeah i am a reality tv whore. so sue me. who cares if its scripted- i find it entertaining. i wish all my fave shows were on 3 nights a week. no i dont id weigh 6000 pounds!
ok in other news.... i am tracking expenses this month like every penny in a computer program but i am not counting the debit/credit transaction of child support in, trampoline out haha yeah that doesnt go in my Album of Smartest Money Moves Ever but as the days go by (actually its only been one day) i regret it less and less.
ok i know poor readers that i am being incredibly lame lately. is it possible that so much guy drama has gone out of my life that i have become more boring that ever? yeah entirely possible.
so here is where i call on you to suggest topics. i am a good writer and can write about anything in an entertaining fashion. challenge me.
the ball is in your court! :)
have a great hump day all

trampolining

2007-08-06T23:02:00.001-07:00

if it isnt a word it should be.
anyways- so we went school clothes shopping today- which was pretty sweet because there was like no one else at the store
wait- maybe before i do anymore school shopping, i should make sure kks school doesnt have uniforms!
ok so we got some cute things and some cereal and shampoo because thats all i could remember off my shopping list and for some ridiculous reason i asked if they had any trampolines and of course they did, and of course they werent on sale, and of course i had enough money to get one, so i did. a 14' band one, not the spring kind, but man it is a biznatch to get set up. i think i am going to have to bite the bullet and find some man to finish putting it together.
soem readers may remember that back when kk was being all miss talky talky in school and i was getting emails from her teacher, i told her that if she could make it the rest of the year with no more emails i would think about getting a trampoline. well- not only that, but that if i DID get another email there would be absolutely no trampoline. so not only did she behave the rest of the year, i got unsolicited good emails from her teacher about how quiet and undisruptive she was.
so yeah im a briber, im a sucker, im a _____ dont finish that.
i should take a pic in the morning of what it looks like now and then another when it is finished HA im sure it will look like night and day.
in completely unrelated news- and true leslie style- i had NO tooth pain today, well a little minor jaw pain but that was it- i was so appreciative! jsut wish i knew what the magic combo was so i could do it again and guarantee no toothpain tomorrow.
dont forget i am taking boyfriend applications.

sayanara or something!

i fixed something

2007-08-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

all by myself! my garage door opener was not letting the door come down- so i realigned the sensors- since i knew kk had bumped them even though i gave her a biiiiiiiiig lecture about it- and tada! yeah i know big deal right? im proud of myself so :P

what else did i get done today? regular mom stuff- laundry, dishes, finished organizing the office and putting everything away, baking turkey, watched the hydros and air show on tv instead of being there which sucked BUT gave me more incentive to get that boat and spend the next year fixing it up so i can go to seafair in it next year! go kayleigh perkins!

the neighbor guy bought me tacos and a push-pop today. i dunno why but that popsicle hit the spot. sweet of him.

progress is being made on the front steps but i realize i am about to run out of bricks so i will have to get some more. if anyone has spare bricks sitting around let me know and i will come get some.

i cant wait to get these damn teeth out. im so tired of being in pain- not beiong able to get to sleep, then not being able to stay asleep- then the first couple hours are excrutiating. an ice pack is helping though thank goodness.

i am glad big brother is on on demand :) i missed all but the first two minutes tonight so no one tell me what happened.

hmmm i promised something interesting tonight. im trying.

i hate that two-sided feeling of 'it would be nice to have a man in my life but the lack of drama and being misunderstood is flipping Awesome.' hmmm maybe its time to answer a personal ad or at least check them out to see whos around. seems like everyone in this town is married or trash. or both. im sure i am missing the good ones that are left because i know there are some. right?

i will leave you with a pic of kk maria and gloria at the carnival last weekend.

8 minutes left in the day

2007-08-04T23:52:00.000-07:00

so i am currently talking to the mysterious kks dad on yahoo msgr right now. talk about conflicted feelings and practicing keeping my mouth shut. but anyways. so yeah it is taking everything out of me so i am leaving today at that and will be back tomorrow with at least one thing interesting i promise.
Oh yeah- I finished clear-coating my car- one more thing off my list! Monday or wednesday is bank account day- wednesday would be my last day to do it. we will see if i can.
remind me to talk about the boat tomorrow.

sucks

2007-08-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

i didnt get my child suport today so i cant take kk to seafair like i had planned- i had made a whole weekend of it but i cant even get there and get in for the $25 i have. i hate money.
so instead we are going to stay at home and work on the house and yard, and try to get it all ready to maybe have a little get-together next weekend. i know i said lets go out but my babysitter had a family emergency and that of course is waaaaay more important that whatever dumb thing i wanted to do. i jsut hope everything is ok- her nephew is in the hospital and things dont look great for him so pray for her and her family if you are that type. thank you.
so today at work was not quite as sucky as most days. but it was no fun when kk was outside knocking on the babysitters door for 13 minutes in the rain because the sitter slept thru her alarm. i was going to be 5 minutes early to work for once and ended up being 5 minutes late and couldnt stop to get gas like i had planned so i was rushing all afternoon.
im really bummed about seafair.
so tomorrow depending on weather i am going to either organize my office or clear coat my car. i know clear-coating is on The List so it has a higher priority but i dont feel like being out there in the humidity. maybe that will change tomorrow.
wow im flippin boring today lol. hmm can i think of anything interesting?
oh- i saw a cute bumper sticker that said FREE TIBET in huge letters then below it it said ...with purchase of 44oz drink. i hope you get that joke.
ok im lame- time to let pictures say 1000 words i cant think of on this lazy friday night:

...

never mind- i cant find my camera connect cord. and i got distracted sorting the linen closet. no pics tonight. ciao bellas :)

August 10th

2007-08-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

Lets go dancing. I have a sitter. Everybody is invited um ask me where if u want to go. I think with the very soon upcoming 10,000th day birthday, it is time to revisit my list and see what is left to do that i can possibly accomplish in 6 days. Lets review:

1. Move back to Gig Harbor DONE

2. Get KK in YMCA after-school care DONE- but now I have to do it again. But i am still couting this one done!

3. Arrange Financial Aid for my E.R. bills DONE and approved to only pay for my xray :)

4. Acquire car insurance THIS one is not going to happen. It isnt in the budget right now. Maybe next year.

5. Get a decent raise OR a higher paying job DONE

6. Be in some kind of fabulous relationship WELL i wasted 6 months on something that could never have been anything- and now for some reason i am turning down dates with incredibly decent (and cute) guys... this one needs some more self- analysis- but i can definitely mark it NOT done

7. Lose 20 pounds (or more) LOST ten. I will give myself half credit for this one

8. Open a savings account I will leave this one open and try to do it this week! Remind me!

9. Have spent at least four saturdays at the beach/lake/spit/pool Does 6 weekends count? lol DONE

10. Complete Clear Coating my entire SUV I will try to do this one this week too- I jsut washed it, so its possible.

OK so with 6 days left to go before i turn 10,000 days old, i will go clear coat some now. and some each day and hopefully be done in 6 days. And tomorrow after work i will go try to open a savings account. Remind me! I swear- I can remember a 18 digit tracking number i have only heard once, but forget something i have been told to do ten million times. argh.

In other news, I went back to the blog of that guy i wasted 6 months on- wow- i have one thing to say- What the hell was i thinking?!?!?!?!?! that guy was soooo wrong for me- i guess a decent guy in his own right (till the cowardly liar side came out at the end)- but come on now- i am so not into greedy dickhead types. anywho- learning experience right? I know I came out ahead on that one- at least i know not to ever date a guy that i have to talk myself into looking at let alone making out with ever again!!! bring on the at least semi-cute chubby guys! I know you are out there!

Tomorrow brings Friday! Which makes one mroe week I dont get fired- yay- i think. i swear that place makes me violent lol i have to go for a drive at lunch just to not walk out of there sometimes. i know it is a good match for me but getting to where i need to be is so incredibly hard at times. Somebody give me a pep talk.

xoxoxo

My jaw hurts!

2007-08-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

OK so if this blog seems a little disjointed, i have to admit i am writing during Top Chef commercial breaks.
Yeah my jaw hurts... I have an appointment on the 16th to have my wisdom teeth pulled on the right side of my mouth, I had the two on the left side of my mouth pulled when i was 8 or 9 by the same oral surgeon that is doing it this time. I went in last week to have my little anesthesia talk and panoramic mouth x-ray thing done and they told me i had grown another wisdom tooth in my left upper jaw. No freaking wonder i am such a genius! (lame I KNOW) so yeah i get to have had 5 wisdom teeth pulled in my life woohoo right? Anyways i look forward to the pain being gone. vicodin and percoset barely take the edge off. no i dont take them at the same time :P
i love top chef... but i would much (wow i totally forgot for a second how to spell much) rather eat that food than cook it- as most of u know by now lol but sometimes after i watch it i get all domestic and have like all four burners and the oven going at once. then i pig out for like yeah well till it is gone lol thankfully i bought a scale and although the number on it is always way higher than i want it to be, as long as it doesnt continually get bigger i am cool with it. i dont have to weigh a little number to know im one hot mama
so the girls and i have been working on the front staircase. who are the girls? me, kk, and two of her friends who are also neighbors and seem to be at my house constantly. which is fine- they are sweethearts. anyways, i have a 14-step staircase going down the hill in front of my house. the driveway is on a hill and the guy who lived here before me was really old, so the handyman built him this little staircase with a railing going from the street to the house. It is jsut packed dirt framed in wood, but i had a bunch of bricks and decided that to add a little traction to the stairs, i would put a row of bricks at the front of each step so it isnt jsut loose dirt. so we have to dig out the dirt- which works much better with the claw end of the hammer than a hand shovel, for some reason... anyways its fun. but my butt muscles are sore from the weird positioning to stand on a hill and dig.
i really like my new place. you should come see it. yeah YOU. i can say that to everybody because the whopping two people who have come to see my place both dont read this blog lol
barbeque at fat rascals tomorrow night for dinner. yeehaw- cant wait for that. will make getting thru my horrendous workday worthwhile.
the bridge disaster in minnesota... i know some folks who moved there when my old job closed down and transferred to about 15 minutes away from minneapolis. i hope everyone is ok. i only have one friend really more of a close work colleague that i know in minnesota and she is far away but i am thinking of everyone out there. one of the guys who was there who called into MSNBC said that people couldnt see at one point in front of them that the bridge had collapsed so they jsut drove into the hole... which scared me being so close to the narrows bridge. that was always one of my fears. i thought about it every time i crossed the bridge late late at night or early early in the morning when there were no other cars on it- what if there are no cars coming in the other direction because it has collapsed in the middle and they are all driving off the bridge into the water? i try to tell myself that could never happen but... obviously it can. i am thankful my bridge days are behind me for the most part.
special shout out to amanda- have fun in the dalles!

where am i?

2007-07-29T14:24:00.000-07:00

The prettiest girl in Texas asked me what happened to me and here is my answer to her and anyone else wondering.
Im just being lame- like normal- social for a while then WHOOSH its off the face of the planet. Blogging will resume with full force August 1st.

my 100th post

2007-07-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

wish it was something of meaning! i really should take this time to review my 10,000th day checklist which i am failing miserably on, but i am too hot and cranky.
ok so friday morning i woke up and it took me half an hour to get out of bed and to the bathroom- my back was paralyzed and i couldnt walk and i almost peed on the floor. then a couple hours i woke up in so much pain that i called my mom bawling. they wouldnt listen that i would be okay so they came and mom stayed with kk and dad took me to the ER. i could barely move and every movement hurt so badly that after lsitening to me cry for like three hours they gave me a shot of dilotin (?) in my butt and i felt oh so much better instantly. sent me home a few hours later with percoset, vicodin, flexaril and motrin for anti-inflammatory and i have felt much better since although i spent most of the weekend sleeping (understandably!!!)
so hopefully knock on wood i am on the road to recovery and kk doesnt get sick again and we get thru the rest of the month in two pieces.
next month is seafair and i always get so excited to go! i have to figure something out though because i am so broke after all these prescriptions and two days of missed work. if anyone wants to go see the hydroplanes and air show with me lemme know.

holla at ur girl :P

while i was gone

2007-07-11T21:34:00.001-07:00

i was thinking about posting the week in review as an interview because it usually turns out pretty entertaining when i interview myself... but when i can feel sweat trickling down my legs and i am jsut sitting here- well suffice it to say all the funny is sucked out of me right now.
its hot. im cranky when its so hot.
anyhoo-
kk got really sick and was in the emergency room overnight july 3rd so our 4th was spent laying around doing Nothing. So was the next day except for a super-long emergency visit to the dentist on my part. i have a grotesque fear of the dentist from when one tried to kill me as a youngster... maybe thast story later. anyways kk and i did almost Nothing that day as well but she was feeling better and almost ate something. Then friday more of the same- high fever, being disoriented, not breathing, weird scary stuff for a parent to go thru. So we went back to the docs for more tests and well almost a week later they still havent figured anything out. but she is all better. not on any meds. i am on penecillin for my jaw infection which you know what that does to girls. so yeah intense jaw pain, that antibiotics/female thing, and i threw my back out at the driving range saturday. im a hurtin puppy.
enough complaining. today was payday which means a nice meal with kk at anthonys. we almost always go out to anthonys for dinner on payday. she has improved on fine dining manners tremendously and it is so fun/terrifying to watch my little girl turn into such a young lady.
we have decided i am going to have a goal of getting a pic of kk in every make of car on the market. doesnt sound too hard until you throw in the deloreans and lotuses of the world. i ahve only seen two lotuses on the road Ever in my life. so we will see- but we will sure have fun trying.
so its really hot- we went to the sprayground in tacoma today for a couple hours which was way fun except it is an hour away. top chef is on tonight. i like that show alot and the next food network star, and all that other reality crap. oy. whatever brings on the escape, right? LOL
ok so my old boss asked me today about my love life. which is temporarily non-existent. which is soooo temporarily fine with me. but if anyone knows any quality guys lemme know :) kk and i have been going to the beach alot which used to work to meet people but honestly i am much more into whatever book i am devouring and not even people-watching when we go these days.
sorry this one is boring folks. lets hope things stay boring for a sec- im still reviving myself from the week my boss was gone!
have a good rest of the week readers!

back again.

2007-07-10T18:52:00.001-07:00

ok im sorry my absence will be explained rather vaguely but i have to clear up a misinterpretation.
i went off the air for a little under a week while i calmed down and thought about the best way to approach the situation that wasnt me rushing into anything and making a mountain out of a molehill. here is my explanation.
readers you know that i am a pretty logical person and i know the difference between PERSONAL and PRIVATE. I am not stupid enough to think that the readers of my blog are limited to only the people I know are reading my blog. so my private stuff (including almost all names, places, and specifics) stays private. personal things are things about me. my blog is about me. i control everything about it. i can put thoughts whether they are planned or spontaneous- and i can talk about myself and my day and not only is it a good way to get stuff out, it is a very easy way for people who miss me (love you girls!!) to get a good dose of my sarcastic cynical yet for some reason naive and hopeful attitude.
that is what this blog is.
now let me tell you what my blog is not.
my blog is not to hurt people or to be misunderstood. i do not attack people thinking they may read this so what can i say to piss them off. my blog is not somewhere i go to be purposefully mean. most of all and lastly, my blog is not a tool for someone to use to lead to the hurting of anybody.
so to summarize my opinion of this, and after talking it over with bowlie and a couple of gfs, i have decided to reopen my blog to the public. here is why. it is my blog. i have no apologies for its contents. there is nothing false about it and it is everything i felt at the time i felt it. if i cannot be honest with myself through the authoring of this blog, i really have no place teaching my daughter how to have integrity, be true to herself, and go through life with conviction.
here are a few comments pointed enough to go to the people they are intended for:
***To person number one: i do like you. you have a ton of qualities i wish i had for myself, namely patience, empathy, and grace. although i can get upset by you or your actions at times, i truly hope you see it for what it is: passion and frustration, and NOT disdain for you. i also do not believe we have a relationship where it really matters whether we like or dislike each other personally as long as we can get to the same place at the same time.
***To person number two: i dont trust you as far as i can throw you anymore, and i throw like a girl. what you did was ruin my first attempt out here to reach out and make a friend. i have two things to thank you for, first, for reminding me that there is a huge difference between what some people say and what they do, and second that trust should be earned and not freely given. which sucks and hurts me, because i think you are badass and would have loved to be your friend.
***To person number three: thinkin about you!

ok you guys caught me- you are all #3! its good to be back...
xoxo

some people

2007-07-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

jsut make me smile. and some people make me want to turn around and RUN the other way. i had the opportunity to come in contact with both types today. and that is all i am going to say about that.

hey guess what i did at work today? made a $300,000 mistake. yup, thats right. when i do it up i do it up big style. i think it is fixable. guess we will find out!

hmm what else can i be incredibly vague about? how about this statement: Im thinking about you. Hmmm how many of you do you think i am talking about you? well you are WRONG!!! haha

Here is a conundrum for the evening: You can change your address on line... but you have to pay a dollar, and the dollar must go on a credit card- as long as the billing address on the credit card matches the address you are changing. WTF?

OK random picture for the day: My 'how do you say?' ah yes... toes.

its a phase

2007-07-01T23:03:00.001-07:00

i jsut dont feel like being social. i dont know if it is the fact that i feel like no one wants to hang out with me or what. maybe i am temporarily getting used to feeling alone. i hate thinking about that but i know it is part of life. well- part of my life anyways.

this weekend was fun/not fun. haha nice explanation huh.

i was super-bummed that my buddy never got to come down- scheduling conflict plus communication mix-up = these things happen. but kk and i had a great time at my cousins all day not-so-fourth of july party saturday. got to drink and hang out with family and let kk play and enjoy the sun and then a fireworks show. here's a pic of kk watching with a friend and family:

here is kk earlier in the day on our way to the party. she was sitting on a display bed at fred meyers pageant-waving to everyone who walked by.

and here is a pic from kks last baseball game of her and a couple of friends in the back of the truck between innings:what a goofball.

in other news, my fabulous wonderful perfect in every way grandma would have been 96 today if she wouldnt have died a few years ago. happy birthday grandma! i love and miss you and hope you Are proud of me!

all done

2007-06-30T23:59:00.001-07:00

i am 100% out of tacoma.
yippee!!!!!!!!!!
more later

kisses!

good news...

2007-06-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

i didnt get fired!!!
and that is the last thing i am going to say about this horrible work week i have had.
I am having one of my friends from tacoma come over and visit tonight and i am way excited to see someone that i know and get along with so well. plus hes an excellent cuddler.
crush boy is going to be gone next week so i will have nothing to look at for an entire week. wil,l i survive? stay tuned and find out.
OK well i am going to go organize something now- maybe i will write more later.
i jsut cant believe i survived this week. even though i am behind and have to go in tomorrow- i am still so relieved that i am alive and breathing... and employed!

OK so perhaps

2007-06-28T22:35:00.000-07:00

the lamest thing to write about in a blog is not your new haircut- but someone else's haircut LOL.
Crush boy got a haircut um either last night or the night before... I have been too busy to notice. But i HATE the haircut. looks like Beavis. But I dont know how such a crappy haircut can make a hot person look even hotter. but it does. Yum.
Nearly irresistable. Such a hot man. Good alone-time visuals.
Gah I just forgot i missed a call from my old boss earlier when i was eating dinner and havent even checked the msg. i so need to recharge.
Just cause i dont pick up doesnt mean i dont love and miss you!

Exhausted

2007-06-28T21:38:00.000-07:00

This has been the longest week I have had in a long time. Im not so emotional anymore which is awesome- but I do feel worthless at my job. I told my boss she is not allowed to go on vacation anymore ever as long as i work there unless she takes me. I dont know what crawled up the VPs butt but he was such a jerk to me today- all attitude and negativity like i invented cancer or something. Oh well I am chalking it up to his Life Sucks More Than Mine so whatever.

In other news, i got a call today from somoeone in my past that I knew would call. I actually said some time between this morning and the end of the week and he called like 20 minutes ago. I was pretty proud of myself for saying no to his requests and hanging up on him. We will see how long my strength stays up on this one. But I am proud of myself.

OK So let me pause and see how I am doing on my goals for this week: eh- the only one i have accomplished is not get fired... and that is jsut so far. There is always tomorrow morning. you know what forget I even said that- dont want to jinx myself.

Time to eat something and pass out before my body jsut does it on its own here in the chair. Its nice to have an office though. This house makes me feel like a grown-up... albeit a very lonely grown-up.

More later kiddies.

UPDATE: 10 minutes after I posted this he called again HA. too funny.

should be interesting

2007-06-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

ok first off i am drunk. i am celebrating the weekend a little early this week. hooray for me.
second point to make is after a week or so of not giving a shit about retard mans blog i took a peek for entertainment purposes... only it wasnt entertaining. wtf did i ever see in him? thinking.... oh yeah- hes intelligent. unfortunately that isnt enough. but whatever. i am eating a quarter pounder and it is delish. you vegetarians are stupid.
So i want to go dancing tonight but im almost out of cash and dont want to spencd anymore jsut in case. work sucked today. i cried like almost all day. who knows why. but i hung in like a trooper and got shit done. well kinda. got an import error but i will deal with that in the morning. drank way too much again but i have no kid so life is footloose and fancy free.
how come i feel like nobody wants to be my friend? oh yeah because nobody does want to be my friend.
im pissed- no wait- SUPER-pised that i wasted 6 kmonths opf my life with someone who ended up dumping me via text msg. so now like i want someone to talk about my day with and i dont have anyone because i THOUHGT msitakenly thatr we were building towards something. What made me think that, you ask? ohhhhh maybe the fact that he TOLD me it was. whatever. i guess i am jsut meant to be alone. what a shitty idea. i am too much of a horndog for that.
yeah so i am eating a quarter pounder and it is hella good and now i ahve to pee. again. brb.
ok back. so i wa thinking about calling crush boy but im not going to because he shows no interest whatsoever. so then i started getting mad at retard buy again because i moved up here thinking i was moving half the distance to his place and he always complained about how far away i was and hey now i mived way closer but wait it doesnt matter because he doesnt want to see me anymore. nice to know that he was so not interested in me that the first girl that comes along and shows some interest can steal him away. am i that low on the food chain?
everything has got to quit sucking soon or i dont know what i am going to do. i am so sick of crying. when does something good get to happne to me?
and iu am tired of people being like- dont be sad. wtf? thats like me teling them- dont be a dumbass. it is jsut supposed to be that way who knows why.
ok enough drunken philosophy and bad typing for one night- off to find some old maid thing to watch on tv like the loser everyone thinks i am.

hasta.

working off the stress....

2007-06-25T21:51:00.001-07:00

so yeah today at work was pretty stressful so after work i went and hit a bucket of balls at the driving range which felt AWESOME and then i went to red robin and got hammered. i sucked my first drink down in 20 seconds (three sips) and had some mroe and chatted with this old couple about baseball and since when did frank thomas play for toronto?!?
so anyways this blog is completely random since my brain is random at the moment.
my tooth is killing me. i have an appt tomorrow but i think i have to cancel since i dont have the cash till wednesday. blah. it hurts like all the time and the combo of my toothache, back hurting and cramps today damn near sent me over the edge.
so i want to meet someone new and im kinda worried because i dont know people out here... like where to go to meet people or where not to go lol i mean some of that i can figure out on my own. but it would really be awesome if someone was like- you know i think so and so would really like you. heres his number. but that doesnt happen to me lol
what would be super awesome would be if crush boy was like hey lets go get some dinner and you can be my girlfriend and we can have lots of great sex haha
SNAP back to reality
ok so i have a bunch of stuff to do but i obviously dont feel like doing any of it... i wonder if taht is because i have a bunch of stuff to do at work that i dont want to do but have to... so when i get off work i am like screw it.
darn i forgot my camera in the car- i was going to post film of kk being silly. oh well.
sigh ok now i am getting all caught up on crush boy. maybe it is psychological since i really dont have the energy for anything else at the moment.
when is bowlie getting back so he can pimp me out?
i wonder if ALL bremerton women come with a bad rep. probably. i am half regretting my move at the moment. but i love my place. it feels huge... its not all that big but it sure feels like it is. i should measure one of these days.
i wonder why it is easier to be alone and not feel lonely in my small apartment than it does in this big house.
time for frosted flakes and bed.
i miss you all!

goals for this week

2007-06-25T06:50:00.001-07:00

1. include finishing moving!!! no choice on that one as i dont have the place past saturday.

2. make at least one new friend around here... im bored and lonely and it sucks not having friends to come over and hang out... its like house arrest meets solitary confinement.

3. get my bathroom all organized and everything in its place

4. not get fired. my boss remains gone all week. this is the msot important goal!

5. end my crush on that guy. its pointless really, even if it is fun and time-consuming to daydream about someone. and its nice to have a reason to look smashing when i go to work.

ok here i go- wish me luck!

here is a random pic to fill some space haha: KK peeking from around the corner in her jammies when i first got my camera :) shes so pretty!

the rice cooker

2007-06-23T23:21:00.000-07:00

is amazing... as a cereal bowl. so at this point in the game we have moved some stuff from the kitchen but not all of it, so this morning when we went to eat cereal we had to make do. it was funny eating frosted flakes out of this huge bowl with this huge plastic rice spoon that barely had any dip to it. because we are a bit slow, we will probably do the same thing tomorrow. i will try to take pics of kk and post here- it is quite funny to watch.

i will try to figure out how to DL a little movie clip i took of kk at the hospital when i had to bribe her to hold the baby. so funny- she looked terrified lol.

in other news, lets recap friday. by far NOT the best day i have ever had. lets start at the beginning:

It was the first shower at my new place. I found I had shampoo but not conditioner. great start. so then i locate some sampler bottles from some hotel (it pays to be a theif!) and get in the shower. Amazing water pressure and I am looking forward to being woken up properly... until i notice that half the water is shooting from the place where the pipe connects to the showerhead and going over the shower curtain into the rest of the bathroom. ugh. so i turn the showerhead around to where the excess water is now shooting into the shower wall and ricocheting right back into my face. ouch. then the shower curtain starts doing that weird sticking to the side of my body thing so i am trying to wash my hair and stuff while being attacked by the shower curtain.

i survive and make it out of the shower, get dressed and leave on time, no traffic, everything looks good. i drop kk off at school for her last day at that school- sad!- and when i go to write the time down that i am checking her in at, i notice i am running about 15 minutes late. WTF? i had counted backwards and planned so carefully- even gave 15 minutes leeway (SP?) jsut in case. ohhhhh i had counted how long it takes to get from my work to her school, not our new place to her school. damn. so i call work to let them know i was running late and start stressing because it went to msg and didnt beep, so i dont know if they got the msg or not until i get there lol.

So I get to work, my first day at my new job that my boss is going to be gone which means i am the go-to person (SCARY) and i see that already there is a paper on my chair saying we are out of something fix it now. oh great. so i rush downstairs and try to figure out where they all are. i cant find any so i go to ask engineering and by this point bowlie is helping me look and goes into engineering with me, where mr Wacky Engineer In The Basement pulls out a couple of tubes of the thing i am looking for. YAY!!! Im not getting fired!!! well- unless they arent a match to the current product. So bowlie takes a look and in the meantime, mr WEITB is telling me about how he doesnt bother learning names because people are getting fired right and left and on and on and i am starting to be reminded of how tight my budget is, and how i jsut moved somewhere where i dont know the labor market and if i got fired what would i do- i jsut signed a lease etc. etc. so i am starting to get a little worried and bowlie is taking forever to tell me if the parts are a match and the only thing i can think in my mind is that if they were right he would have already told me, so they must be wrong and he is trying to think of a nice way to tell me they are wrong. so the tension is building and bowlie looks at me and says they dont match, and i started tearing up and then he goes yes they do hahaha and i stabbed him with the tube and probably called him an asshole or something then i really started crying a little bit cause im a big fat baby. well on emotional hormonal days i am.

wait theres more.

ok so then i quit crying, go back upstairs, and start crying again telling wondergirl what jsut happened. then i am fine. for a while. theres a potluck for bowlies last day and that is good because we all know how much i love a sauce covered meat of any kind, and there was an abundance on display. so its all great, the day goes on, pretty uneventful, then it is time for bowlie to leave and he comes upstairs and is like peace out and i was like see ya and then he was gone. and i didnt want to say see ya i wanted to give him a big squeezy hug and tell him how special he is to me and that i havent made a friend like that in a long time, and that work was going to suck majorly without him there to make me smile. some people you jsut click with. i dont share secrets with many people but he was just someone i felt like i had already known forever. anyways so i looked out the window to see if i could still go tell him all that and his truck was gone and i started crying again because i hate goodbyes and i hate that feeling like i didnt get to tell him really how much he meant to me and i think it is so important to let people who mean something to you know that they mean something to you. im sure in the scheme of things i didnt mean that much to him as he did to me but i think that the role he played in my life the last month has been really to keep me sane and happy while a bunch of major stuff changed- new job, a new place in a new town, and newly single. so yeah i got sad. what can i say im an emotional schmuck.

so i dry my tears, take out the trash because its janitor friday, and go to leave on time bc kk is at the ymca and i HAVE to be there by 430 or they will charge a dollar a minute overtime. I get in my car and drive down the street and see that the highway is closed. to the point that they are diverting traffic off of it onto the street i was on. shit. so i turn around and drive into work and ask someone who is leaving if they know any other way to gig harbor because i have 20 minutes to get my kid and he says yeah jsut follow me. so i am optomistic that the 430 thing can be done. until we go to the first shortcut to the freeway and see that everyone else had that idea too. we turn around, pull over and he says he knows tons of roads so jsut keep following him. so i follow and follow and realize there is no way i am going to make it. i start going through my phone list and realize i feel like i dont have anyone who can help me by getting kk. so finally i stop at kehli and call her and start crying asking if she can try to get online and find me the number to the ymca center so i can call and tell them i was going to be late due to traffic and please dont worry... or charge me. she says she will jsut go pick her up, which in typical kehli style is above and beyond. so kk is taken care of. i calm down and finally after a couple wrong turns find my way into gig harbor and kehli's house to pick up kk.

by the time i get to kehlis's house, my psyche is shot. like i know all i want to do is crawl into bed for a long long time. i find out when i get to her house that she had left from setting up a surprise party to go pick up kk. what a woman. i said why didnt you tell me? i would have found someone else to go get her. and she said thats why i didnt tell you, because i knew you needed me and this could wait and i didnt want you telling me not to worry. so then what did i do? yup. started crying again. that selfless serving quality kehli has and what she had jsut said to me reminded me so much of my grandma. jsut putting others before herself, no matter what. at any cost. you cant learn that, you are either born that way or not. i am so lucky to have known two women with that quality.

Wrapping up the day, we went to dinner, drove to tacoma to pick up another load of stuff, went to walmart for a new showerhead and um some other junk and went home and unloaded. sigh. that was almost emotionally draining jsut writing about.

dont worry today was better! more on that tomorrow!

the major move is done!!!

2007-06-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

thanks to bowlie and mr mumbles. hey that sort of sounds like a movie title. Bowlie and Mr Mumbles go to Town. haha im hilarious.
Anyways I get my cable hooked up Saturday morning so I probably wont be on much between now and then but i make up for it in quality.
OK kk is bugging me to start loading the car. gotta go.

toodles!

racing the clock

2007-06-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

ok thank you to mr rescue man, even if i am only talking to you for business purposes. No, at this point in my life you deserve a better blog nickname than mr rescue man, even though that one makes me picture bulging muscles and a uniform, which doesnt quite suit you. hmmm. options... ok consulted the urban dictionary and put in the search term 'bowl,' and all i got were nasty bathroom references which you probably think are funny, so those are out. except for 'Bowlie,' which is defined as "Originated in Portsmouth, England in the mid 80’s, meaning Retard" which makes me laugh, and is ok. haha so Bowlie it is. maybe less manly than mr rescue man but oh well, whats important is what makes me laugh.
anywho- the title of my blog indicates that i have soooo much to do and such little time to do it. i wish i had the backbone to ask the only single doable guy i know to help, but i dont. gah i keep distracting myself.
the title of my blog refers to the challenge i gave myself tonight- to have at least one box packed every 15 minutes. so far, i have been successful for the last 45 minutes, which is how i can sit here writing this. i know, bo-ring.
anywho- work has been okay lately... in funny news i attempted an advanced ninja karate move today in the warehouse and fell on my ass in front of mr mumbles. embarrassing. but what a way to get noticed, right? lol. it could have been way worse, i was coming down the stairs later that day and i misstepped the very first step and fell down but didnt fall down all 19 stairs, jsut twisted my ankle a bit. major goober move. im a dork. like you didnt know.
ok heres a funny story. my daughter and i were driving past KinderCare on our way home last night and she puts on her stunna shades, rolls down her window, and flashes the peace sign at the kids outside and says "Peace out, little kids."
well i thought it was funny. now back to work!!!

peace out, little kids :)

buying lighting and other misc.

2007-06-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

was so fun. i love picking out home furnishings and the fact that home depot was having a lighting sale well i was temporarily in heaven. two glass and brushed nickel modern lamps marked down from 70 to 19? doesnt get better than that. And a matching brushed nickel and frosted glass dining room fixture. the new place is coming together quite well :) most of the furniture is over except the heavy stuff and i have help this week. thank you kindness-of-your-heart man!
Im very excited that summer is here! out with the old, boring, and bad in bed, and in with all new and much more pleasing to me! Sometimes I wish there was a class to teach guys how to um you know before they are ever unleashed into the public. would save me some time, thats for sure. of course i have had the fortune to meet a couple of guys who could teach that seminar... where are their numbers again? lol
jsut got back from buying some tools at schucks from my friends cutiepie husband. going to take my bed apart and get it ready to move. not so much left to do... a few more loads and then it will be time to plan my housewarming bbq. better check the calendar and learn how to grill :)
in other news- mr man decided to officially end everything and everything today via text. yes, text. lmao. even a week ago i would have been really hurt... as it is i couldnt stop laughing. i keep trying to figure out what i learned from that whole experience... here is a short list of what i have come up with:

1. dont settle for someone who cannot physically please you, no matter how much you suck it up and act like it is great.
2. most people lie. i know i do sometimes. but usually only to cops. so people who come off like they are so honest and such good people and oh they would never lie are probably the bigger liars of the group than those of us who will admit that we have done it and will probably do it again.
3. anyone who ever tells you they are immature is right!
4. i would still rather be fabulous and struggling than a socially awkward bad dresser with money.
5. seafood kicks thai foods ass.
6. theres reasons some people are single for so long. wrinkly little smelly sweaty reasons.

im very excited to see what my reward is for putting up with that crap for so long.

and for the record, Ian's hat is a pimp hat.

toodles!

gabriella

2007-06-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

one of my best friends morgan had her first baby this morning! it is so weird for my friends to be so many years behind me in the child-having stage of life... but i am happy for them trust me. and they all love kk because they havent been ruined by their own kids yet haha.

morgan and i have been friends since we were 4 years old and have stayed super-close through multi-state moves (her) inter-state moves (me) and boyfriends galore (both of us.)

anyways she has a great man in her life (tony) and they made this precious little baby so i am happy to present my fave newborn, gabby.

5 things...

2007-06-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

I hate:
1. Spitting
2. Horseradish
3. Lying
4. Doing dishes
5. Giving up on people

I need to do this weekend:
1. Bring drinks for the baseball team
2. Pack
3. Move
4. Dance
5. RSVP to Spencers party

I want right now:
1. A cuddle
2. Mint chocolate chip ice cream in a waffle cone
3. to be able to sleep in once
4. A text
5. A 'move planner' like a wedding planner only for a more major event (a move) haha

But seriously- I love my new haircut and it is making me happier than i have been in a while. Like since last weekend LOL

Love and miss you girls and guys you rock too :)

Remember your end of the deal... I will watch Charlie if you find me someone to get me in the paper hahaha

im the shiznit

2007-06-14T22:43:00.000-07:00

i packed three boxes!!! shut up.

im bribing myself

2007-06-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

since i cant seem to get my ass in gear and am starting to get really nervous about running out of time on my move, i decided that if i get a whole bunch done tonight I will let myself go dancing on friday or saturday night because a band I really like is going to be at the muckleshoot. That is a good reward for myself :) but things arent looking too hopeful. Even jsut writing these few sentences took me about an hour because i was watching tv and looking up stuff online. OK but at least i took a nap this afternoon for about an hour and now I feel like I can actually pack up some of the kitchen. If I get the kitchen done tonight I will be in good shape for the weekend. Ugh I have to remember that KK has a baseball game on sat morning at 9!! OK that jsut made it official that i will not be going out dancing friday night HA.
OK so I am watching So You Think You Can Dance... a dancing reality show... and i think a lot of the appeal for me is that i cannot dance at all. I am good at that middle-school swaying slow-dance schtick but that doesnt count for anything any more. And I am awesome at the classics: No, not those classics, Im talking about The Sprinkler, The Running Man, The Moonwalk, you know, those ones. haha if you have gone out with me, you know I can only joke dance and it is always funny. maybe its because i am always drunk. who knows? :)
Anyhoo, today started rough with kk and I getting so into we made each other cry. It is so awesome to have a stonrg-willed intelligent daughter who can fight her way out of anything, BUT i am a spoiled only brat jsut like she is, so in a situation where there is a winner and loser, it can get very ugly. But nothing like a sausage mcmuffin for her and a large iced hazelnut coffee for me to say hey i still love you and your attitude. Then on my way to work everything was sucking so bad, like everything that could suck was, that when i got out of the car i said to tiff "I should have stayed in the shower this morning because everything that has happened since I got out has been shit" and that wasnt even the shittiest part of the day. A couple things happened I am not going to get into here but nothing that a good cry and some speeding down the road on my lunch break couldnt fix.
OK now I have to leave you and go pack!!!! Seriously! Leave me alone! Wait youre not doing anything. For real though- any kind of encouragement to get my ass in gear is more than welcome... a comment, an email or instant message, text, money or fresh baked goods are all accepted.

Love ya!

i've been schmoozed!!!

2007-06-13T22:10:00.001-07:00

a nice part of my new job is sales reps come out and basically kiss our asses so we buy their stuff. of course, we dont have to buy anything we dont want to, and they are too busy with their bazillion other customers to bother us to terribly much if we dont respond to them right away. plus we already have most of our stock set up in bond with one supplier so we are pretty golden as long as i forecast correctly.
Anyways, today we had a visit from a bothell company, the industrial sales rep (A) who my boss and i already talk to, and his boss (N) the sales manager. So they drive up in a shiny new black s-class and come upstairs.
Sidenote: It is always interesting to me to see people for the first time who you talk to over other means of comunication. A lot of people meet online, and that is different because there is usually a photo or webcam so you still have a general idea what a person looks like. One guy I met online however looked nothing like his old ass picture, which is neither a good or bad thing, as neither was particularly impressive. The last big sales rep I met turned out to be this snaky little man, which shocked and surprised me because of the magic he can pull off with getting us product.
Anyhoo back to today. I was pulling POs from the binder to give to Tiff when Mish the wonder receptionist came around and told me A and N were here. Damn, my boss was downstairs so I had to meet them first. Deep breath, shy girl. OK So I turn around and standing in front of me were this incredibly gorgeous man (N) and his chubby sidekick (A). Yowzers. Chubby sidekick made my heart skip a beat LOL I am sure I turned all red but oh well. So I met them and although handsome men are nice to look at, they are not really my style. But I couldnt believe how attracted to A i was. So then my boss comes upstairs and we all go into the conference room to schmooze or be schmoozed. How fabulous to be able to be treated to eye candy. And what a nice guy he was too. Fabulous start to the day.
It was great to have the tangible evidence in front of me that even though I had forgotten how stunning and wonderful i am and that any man would be lucky to have me, here he was to remind me how many fish are in the sea, and if the one I have spent the last 6 months basting in my skillet overcooks, throw him back and start over and the results can be way better. OK sorry but what would a blog from me be without my shitty analogies LOL
So then the day is great from that point on. They leave and I work hard and Oh yeah it was payday... which is great because I am hourly and get to make OT. Until i get my check and realize that I did not get paid for memorial day like i was told i would. WTF? because I specifically asked and told that i was and I should have gotten everything in writing from the office manager. Blah I know better than that. So now since OT is not OT, my check is a couple hundred less than i thought it would be. Guess I will have to wait till next pay period to get my automatic garage door opener :( But we all know that is not the point. Not only that, other employess who finish their shift before i do had been calling that their paychecks were bouncing. so i didnt even go to the bank today- no point. but that was a crappy way to end the day... but it wasnt over yet.
So I work about 45 minutes past quitting time and go to the liquor store, and who should page on my way there but mr man, asking me why some simple conversation yesterday had turned into something so dramatic.
I have to interrupt myself here to make the point that somehow I fould the only man on the face of the planet who thinks I am a drama queen.
So yeah how do i explain in a text message, not that i even wanted to, that it was hard for me to have the convo last night because i heard some really unpleasant things about his feelings or lack of feelings for me, and that the whole phone call was pretty much to say goodbye because i wasnt going to contact him anymore? i guess it is harder for me than it is for him to say goodbye. So i tried to explain that and pretty much have my feelings voided as is practice for the two of us. I have tried so many ways to tell him that not only does he not make me feel important like he used to and like he should as the exclusive man in my life... he makes me feel unimportant most of the time. But nothing i say seems to make any sense to him so why even try.
So I ended that call yesterday saying he knows how to get ahold of me. But I dont think he will, since I am too high-maintenance. (you have got to be kidding me) anyways... so that whole thing is over.
Back to work in the morning- im so glad it is thursday but i sure hope i dont have to do anything with the OM cause I feel like slappin somebody todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay... (amanda its not you for once HAHAHAHAHA)

i should be sleeping

2007-06-12T20:54:00.001-07:00

havent been doing much of that lately. but dont want to, so no conflict there anymore :)

its really hard on the ego to be dismissed so easily but it has happened before and will happen again.

OK so good news- the washer and dryer are in! Thanks guys. Captain on the way but probably not tonight because i was too busy ummmm going to a pity party. But you rock and i am going to miss you because you are cool. way supa-fly. we should party this summer at my ghetto crib.

anyways... i think i recall drawing the kitchen sink for dishes about 40 minutes ago so i think i will go do that. i know, right? me doing dishes? it is jsut so i can move them, dont worry friends.

i will use this time to advertise my Product of the year: Aleve CS.

Whether you are truly ill and cant afford to miss work, or jsut need the pick-me-up value of a slightly-not-quite-but-maybe-should-be upper of pseudephedrine, this is the pill for you. No nasty side effects, all day extended-release... its perfect in every way. Just dont ever ever ever take it before bed unless you want to be up organizing cabinets and frying chicken at 1am.

There have been a couple of incidents involving me and this medicine... since you have to sign for it at the grocery store so they make sure you arent making meth with it. When i am truly sick and cant get this OTC medicine because the pharmacy is closed, I can get jsut a little grumpy. Or a whole lot.

Anyways, another worthless boring blog in the books. Time to drink.

hmmmmmm...

2007-06-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

what boring crap to write about today?
work was pretty lame- for some reason i couldnt get my ass in gear and concentrate- felt so abd about it i brought work home and am taking a break from it right now. I tried to do some at dinner but mr man decide he wanted to have the 'i dont want a girlfriend' chat over text. yeah. text. nice huh? after yesterday he says he wants to hang out after i get moved. whatever. mixed messages suck ass.
in other better news, dinner was delicious... tortellini alla panna from bella nina YUM. :::newsflash::: cream sauces do NOT cure sadness no matter how hard you try.
my house is still kinda messy because i am packing and trying to live, work overtime, commute, raise a kid, and get over a delusional 'relationship' all at the same time and it is jsut draining of my energy. so home is not exactly the refuge i want it to be right now.
:::dont read this cause its sappy- but i really have very mixed feelings about leaving memories of the past 6 months here. every time he rang my doorbell- and especially the first time i dressed up special for him. when he opened that door and i saw the look on his face- i never felt so good. at the same time it sucks right now when so long goes by and he doesnt knock on the door. why cant i just meet him in 5 years when things are different? why the f do i care anyways? we are so not right for each other and i deserve someone who doesnt see my interest as an inconvenience... so wtf is wrong with me that i still care? AAAARGGHHHHH!!:::
big deep breath
OK better. not really but whatever.
im kind of looking forward to a summer distraction. of course there is always k... he says he will come up and see me in bremerton- things are a little weird right now. i was venting to him and out of nowhere he is like- hey i like you, we always get along, we never fight, i think youre sexy and smart and feisty, let me know when you are done rebounding from this guy and i will be waiting. wtf? that came out of nowhere lol i mean im flattered... but who knows? i dont want to go from one thing to another either- and frankly im not capable of doing it right now. but like i keep saying- summer is coming.
ok back to work for me- probably one more hour of work before i take my tired ass to bed. for some reason i woke up at 445 this morning and immediatley started thinking when all i really wanted to do was sleep.
toodles to my faithful- and a special shout-out to my washer/dryer hero! big sloppy kisses to you lol jk

this weekend

2007-06-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

was perfect.
Friday after work kk and i went to dinner at red lobster. yum. hadnt been there since december and after paying the $50 bill for me and a kid i remembered why. but there is something about lobster fondue that makes me want to rip all my clothes off. ok not really :)
Anyhoo, after that we went over to my friends house and waited for her daughter to get home so we could go out. She ios always such a pro at getting ready: curling the hair, all the layers of makeup, she always looks like a million bucks, so it is funny to me to get ready with her. i get done in ten minutes and am like ummmm now what do i do? So i always end up playing with her curling irons and stuff and i feel like a kid watching her mom get ready for a night out. All those sprays and potions- Im like- what does this one do? So we get all beautiful (well more beautifuler than normal) and go out drinkin and dancing and having a gerat time. i LOVE live bands. met up with some people I remembered from back in the day and end up getting home sometime after 3. I found a new drink called a porn star which is raspberry vodka, blue curacao, lime, and some other thingy- anyways it is pretty and delicious... and toxic LOL of course we always drink jagerbombs when we are getting ready and I had had a top shelf long island at red lobster so I had my 9 drinks and that was as drunk as i get without puking. It was perfect.
Saturday morning slept in, got out of bed and dressed around 2 or so because kks bball game was rained out. We went to the mall and Target and it was much more uneventful than my last trip to Target, thats for sure. No old lady wanted to fight me this time. We went to Macys because it is their white sale and i finally figured out exactly the kind of bedroom decor I want. Problem was, it was saturday afternoon and i was the only person NOT signing up for their bridal registry in the whole department. Just made me miss the comfort of a boyfriend. Anyways it made me a little sad which sucked because my day was going outstanding to that point. So we go to the food court for some yummy tacos and sat down at a wobbly table and my pop fell on the floor and i started crying.
WTF???
Yeah I was like ummm thats embarrassing. Had no idea where that came from but I went up and asked the guy and of course he gave a crying mom a free soda so i sat back down and kk starting crying because I was crying and we were jsut a big mess. In the middle of the Tacoma Mall food court. Yeah I am a winner, that is for sure. No wonder I dont have a boyfriend LOL.
OK so then we went home for a second to get stuff together and go to kks baseball award ceremony, which was fun. Hung out with the cool nice parents, which there are like 5, and even made a business contact out of the deal with one of the sales mgrs of one of our suppliers at work.
KK and i went over to my pimpstresses house to pre-funk and get ready for going out alst night, then we took kk to the sitters and slammed a couple at the casino, then picked up lucky and kris and went to the swiss to meet the others. There was a band there called Seven Deep who I love to watch and we danced and drank till the club closed. Then come home, afterparty, and pass out sometime before dawn. Wake up in the morning around 1130 or so, move to the couch, eat yummy snacks, and go to take a nap. But my phone wont stop buzzing so instead I got up and did some packing and took a load out to the new place. The picked up kk and went to Applebee's to beat a riblet craving. more yum. And I have leftovers for tomorrow :)
So yeah it was a way fun weekend. I am more rested than I have been in a while and turns out in my case that absence does not make my heart grow fonder. I am jsut excited for the summer and the opportunities it always brings.
later gaters!

i dont understand

2007-06-07T21:24:00.001-07:00

why you would rather be admired by 100 random people than fully and truly loved by one. Is it jsut that it is easier to not get close? Are you really that afraid of being hurt? makes sense. persnally id rather be hurt than hurt someone.
there is so much i dont understand about you, about life, about the world. i was really looking forward to you teaching me, showing me, and maybe you learning a few things from me too.
feels funny to be the only thing in life you are not open to.
some time i want to jsut talk it out openly and honestly, no distractions. no false fronts. face your fears and inadequacies and i will face mine.
for now i hope you are healthy happy and full in heart.

sorry amanda this isnt all rainbows and puppies lol maybe tomorrow after the long long workweek is over

hobbies

2007-06-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

i really need AND want to start drawing and writing again. my writing crave is taken out here on the blizzog but nothing really creative goes into that. and my poetry sucks. but hmmm i guess you could call them my contemporary short stories or snapshots are pretty damn good. and drawing- well sometimes i think its good- but probably mostly art only a mother could love. not like i would expect anyone to buy any of my pieces but i would put them up in my own house.
if you know an artist who does black and white or greyscale art or photography i would love to get a collection going in my new place.
in unrelated news- whats wrong with telling people you care about that you care about them? life is too short to not give out your love if you have it!

die hard

2007-06-06T21:30:00.001-07:00

there is a new die hard movie coming out june 27th and I want to go. let me know if you want to go too. i will pay my way haha but im getting popcorn. so neener.

unsure

2007-06-06T19:08:00.001-07:00

what to write about. ive had a request for something happy. ive had a request for charlie the unicorn. ive intended to write about nicknames for this contest others are having at work, as well as how all the terminology for work seems to be so dirty all the time what with the surface mount guy telling my boss he was going to put his blog in my twitter (which was funny and kinda hot at the same time LOL). Well, that is probably jsut my gutter mind thinking that, but still.

I could write about how yummy seafood is, since i am currently dining on seafood scampi, and how it is weird that people who are not from around here are so hesitant to try new seafood. I wonder if I grew up where everything was frozen instead of fresh if i would hate seafood too. And I wonder why I never tried scallops till this year. Yum. When doen right of course which in my opinion is the root of all relationships with seafood. If it is done right it can be delish. If done incorrectly, it can spoil a person to a food for a long long time.

I could write about how this move isnt stressing me out but that it may be because I am in denial about the whole thing LOL. I feel like I havent gotten anything accomplished, and I still dont have anyone to help me move the heavy stuff. My parents should have made me a brother, or a pretty sister with a strong husband. But no. I am a lonely only. hey maybe that is why I dont need so much space- I got so much space growing up that it never got old to me. i never ahd to share a room, or food, or my parents or anything else. Hmmmm. Could I have jsut had an epiphany?

I could write about how my dad is awesome and filled the male role in my life to a degree by taking my car to the mechanic for me so I didnt get bamboozled. Something about tits make most auto body shops think they can charge twice as much as normal, or tell you that something is wrong with your car that really isnt. Unfortunately it works sometimes because a lot of women dont know enough about cars to tell the difference. We wouldnt put up with that from the doctor. Imagine if your doctor told you you had insomnia and needed an expensive prescription to solve the problem. First of all, we would know whether or not we had been sleeping, and secondly there are other ways to fix the problem that doesnt even exist in the first place. Gah- me and my crappy analogies. Anyways I know you know what Im trying to say. And that is the beauty of my readers! Yes, even you.

I could write about how much I dislike having full-on conversations via text. if there is really something to say, call me. you obviously have my number. and 140 characters is usually not enough for my lame ass to express what I need to say. I could write about how the instructions on the peanut-butter chocolate chunk bars i am baking say it in english and spanish and it looks like bake in spanish is hornee LOL. I know I am super-lame, never claimed not to be.

But instead of writing about any of those things I will post a couple pics of furniture my parents are selling in case anyone needs a couch and loveseat set or an extendable formal dining room set. Both in great shape. Let me know if you are interested.

the toilet

2007-06-05T19:14:00.001-07:00

I am having a problem with my toilet. I know how to fix lots of things like that but this one seems to be the water is flowing back into the tank after a flush waaaaay tooooooo sloooooowly. so like any single woman i went to the world wide web for help. found this article, which didnt address my problem, but the last sentence was worth reading the whole entire article. So read and educate yourselves and maybe my toilet will fix itself.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/95300/how_to_fix_the_toilet_and_impress_the.html?page=2

i stole this rant

2007-06-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

from some blog and I really liked it. I know I have felt this way before and sometimes it is jsut simply nice to have my feelings validated. Enjoy:
smart ass
i am not easily offended. but enough is enough.
you think you know everything.just because you are smarter than the average bear does not mean you have the right to judge everyone else. you just form your unsolicited opinions and start plastering labels. does it make your life easier?
i have my reasons for doing what i do, and i don't see how it's any of your business what I do.
i could defend myself.i could give you the reasons why.
you're so uninformed.so shut your face.
you haven't learned everything yet.and yet you sit here and make your inferences and you judge people and you think you've got it all figured out. all you do is blame others for your unhappiness.the bottom line--you're still not happy. no matter who's to blame.you know that you're unhappy and you can even explain itbut for some reason you can't change it and you're still miserable.
funny how the things you're saying that i'm doing wrong are the ones that i've got a handle on and that are making me the most happy.
the smartest person I know, doesn't know shit.

i was doing awesome

2007-06-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

at the whole space and distance thing. wrote myself a note, kept busy, and pretended like i didnt care although that whole concept of 'no showing you care' is completely foreign to me. I was doing awesome... until i get to see all about mr mans big all day with his new female friend. No wonder there wasnt enough time to call me or see me. it makes sense now, which really sucks. i asked him if i should be worried, and he didnt answer. i made sure to be considerate (even though i feel i am not being told the whole story) and email during lunch hour so i wasnt interrupting a busy work day. I didnt get any response, so a couple hours later when i felt like i was going to be sick to my stomach about this crap i sent another msg asking could he please jsut answer that question so i could know what the case was. well- its over 6 hours now since the first email and still nothing. had it not been for that blog I could have gone all week with no contact just to show I can; as it is i am afraid to look at his blog now to see what might hurt me next. But as it is I feel like where was the time to make a new friend when there isnt enough time or energy to maintain the friendship that he and I have? How hard is it- if there is nothing but innocent friendship going on- to say 'No babe- everythings fine- she is jsut a geek like me and we have lots in common- shes a cool chick but i am still into you" or whatever the case is. I would feel much better with the whole situation. But as it is I am practically ready to jsut accept it without hearing anything. But as a human i deserve better than that.
I feel discounted whether I was or wasnt by omission. I dont need to know every little thing. I dont want to know every little thing. But when I am turning down dates or dinners out of respect for the person I believe I am seeing exclusively, is it wrong of me to feel it should work both ways? That I shouldnt have to hear about the great time he had with some other chick?
It jsut sucks and it hurts and its my fault for having hope in something between he and I. I jsut want him to be happy and obviously I havent been making him happy.
Its jsut so hard to let go of something that felt so right when we were together. For some reason I thought our differences were complementary and not divisive. Guess I was wrong on that.
Im not saying everything I did was perfect- far from it- but I was completely honest about what I wanted at all times. Do you know how impossible it is to be anything to someone who never expresses anything? He always asks- Do I ever ask anything of you? No- he takes what he wants- which is space- and didnt tell me that was what was going on. How am I not supposed to think something is going on? And jsut when I was reassured abnd believing him, I make the mistake of reading his blog.
Now the logical chick in me says that of course there is nothing going on because he always told me he doesnt blog about his personal life. So this occurence on the blog shouldnt mean anything. So why cant i listen to my logical side? Because my gut is telling me differently. Makes sense that a guy would say that when you are not good enough for him to write about you... until you are out of the picture. Logic vs. Gut? We will see who is right.
Once upon a time things were great. I would love for things to be great with him again. But the secretive vague neutral not-giving-a-shit persona that he has become lately hurts alot because I know how it feels when I can tell he cares about me. He used to tell me he likes me, im sexy, im this, im that, blah blah blah, he used to share himself with me. Now it seems he is busy sharing himself with someone else. And its not like the good times were years ago- we were fine even a month ago. Frustrating.
Guess i turned him into being just like anyone else- not caring enough about me as a human being to be straight with me and either respect me or let me be. And before you go saying what a bunch of drama and crap- its not. These are my feelings and you can take them or leave them. Drama would be ringing the phone off the hook in disrespect of guy night just to get an answer. I asked once, then asked for my answer, and now I am leaving it alone. This is my blog here and I am venting from my heart.
Hes a great guy and I am the fuck-up yet again. I can talk big like- whatever your decision is- its fine with me, I jsut want to know rather than not know... but honestly either way hurts equally bad. Why do I let some people affect my heart? When am I going to learn?

wish i thought of it first

2007-06-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

what a job

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=414001&in_page_id=1879

Miscellaneous shout-outs

2007-06-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

Hey you-know-who:
I did not watch Charlie the Unicorn as I was instructed to do this weekend. So please do not quiz me. Maybe later this week.

My dearest anonymous:
Wish you were closer- I miss you tons and think you are beyond fabulous!

Original Banksta:
You are and will always be my #1 pimpstress. Lets toast soon!

Love always,
That Girl

Weekend #3 in the sun :)

2007-06-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

Remember on my list of ten things, that one of them was to spend at least four weekend days at the lake, beach, pool, etc.?
Well I have done 3 out of 4. The last two weekends I have spent a ton of time in the sun and have raccoon eyes to show f0r it. Yesterday was the gig harbor parade and kk and i went and hung out with keith from her class and his dad- a couple of great guys. talked the whole time and had a blast. of course he is married. ho hum.
Every year at the parade the cutters point truck is in the parade and the owner aaron who i went to high school with goes behind the truck and throws out regular bags of coffee beans to the crowd and it is always a big hit. he doesnt throw out very many so its rare that ayone i know ever gets the beans. but this year, i caught the beans! yeah i know it doesnt take much to make me happy LOL. although others would tell you differently.
So after the parade we hurried to the baseball field for team pictures and kk's game and morgan and tony came too. it was nice to have someone else there to cheer for kk. i feel like a bad mom because she is the only one on her team that doesnt have at least two parents showing up for games. i wonder if she notices. Anyways morgan was quite a scene. She is due tuesday so she is the size of a small mansion and she was hollering for kk every time she was up to bat or fielding. it was so funny- kk kept getting all embarrassed but i think she secretly liked the attention. Tony and I were throwing the football around which I love to do but I dont own a football so i dont get to do that too often. Then after kks game we came home and put on swimsuits and went to the lake with morgan, tony, and some of tonys friends. tony is a good guy and i am glad that he and morgan found each other. i never would have pictured her with him but they work really well together. i guess there is someone for everyone. met another great guy, one of tonys friends but of course he is already snatched up too. he kept wanting to argue with me which for some reason i found kinda hot LOL but maybe it was the mental stimulation i had been lacking recently that made the arguing pique my interest. anyways we had a good time, bbq at the lake and more football. Got hit in the forehead with the ball one time but i had a bit of sunburn so you couldnt even tell haha. beer and meandering and then home for the evening.
Sunday we got up early and I was planning on working all day. I had made arrangements for kk to go to a friends house between morning and evening church so I could work because there is a ton to do getting ready for our new system that supposedly I am implementing...
So anyways i stayed two hours late friday and did all the mom/fun stuff saturday so i could work all day sunday, then three hours into what I had to do sunday to be ready for monday, the power went out. So we went and had a margarita waiting for the power to come back on and it never did. So now I am way behind and I will try to go in early tomorrow but the earliest I can get there is 645 since kks daycare doesnt open till 630 at the earliest. But I will try because there is just so much to do. I wanted to be all done but it is jsut not going to happen. But who knows what the power of caffeine can do for me in the morning? Sunday ended by picking up kk at church and packing up another load of stuff into the car. I have no clue how I am going to get it OUT of the truck and into my house, but when I went to pick up my coatrack and load it into the back of the truck it was so heavy. But I took a deep breath and did it. Guess i am a little tougher than i thought :)

Not quite sure what the rest of the week brings other than getting teased for my raccoon sunburn face and some uncomfortable peeling. Im not editing this post because i dont feel like it so sorry if it is non-sensical rambling.

Stevie Nicks' 'Landslide' is such a beautiful song. Have a great week readers and friends!

In desperate need...

2007-06-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

Of man/men to help me move my heavy things. Being the single female that I am, I have no man to move stuff :( So I am hosting an open casting call for temporary Man Of The Day. There are really only three heavy things I need help with- my washing machine, tv, and mattress, but you are welcome to help with more if you wish! Beer and Pizza for you if you do... or meal of your choice! Or if you would rather just have like $20 or something let me know.
Thanks in advance! Message me on yahoo at s/n: prettymisses.

Hey anyone who doesnt want to help, add me anyways :)

Dear Adam,

2007-05-31T21:40:00.000-07:00

Im sorry you have no idea how to comment on my blog. But it does allow me the freedom to make as much fun of you as I want and you cant say anything back until you learn how.
So pffffffffffffffffffffft. :)

Sincerely,
Stunna Shades from the Hood

Lexophilia

2007-05-31T20:31:00.000-07:00

The Love Of Words. Anyone who knows me knows I can talk about linguistics for hours (grammer too although I rarely use any in typed word), much to the dismay of everyone else on Earth.
Anyways, I received an email forward from my lovely parents with some witty and some not-so-witty sayings I like and thought I would post them here for you to enjoy or be bored by, whichever is your pleasure. If you dont understand one, keep it to yourself, or else I will laugh at you. :)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5 In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

And might I add... It is better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a tall.

The Dish

2007-05-31T19:50:00.001-07:00

Usually I am a fan of dishes. yummy food comes on them. But last night I met a dish I dont like at all. here is a bad picture of the dish:

Nothing wrong with the dish, per se, except that it is in the middle of my new yard right where I was going to put kks trampoline, and right where instead of seeing green beauty i now see property damage and personal injury. i was NOT happy to hear about this. It wasnt there when I went to check out the place, but it was when I went to sign the lease Tuesday. My landlord agreed she did not like it being there, and told me it was odd that no one had called her about setting it up, since she is the one who owns the place. So Tuesday everything was fine. Then Wednesday night I get this email from her:

Hello Leslie,
I spoke to the Dish Network guy and the dish is there to stay as he was not able to find another spot that could receive 2 towers. He said he was there one day and then brought another guy to find a decent spot. They tried the roof , the wall etc. but the trees are in the way, actually just the one really tall one.
However, the cable on the grass is unacceptable and he knew that so he will come next week and burry it. I will get a small fence around the thing, hopefully next week too.
Hope things are well,
Wille

I was beyond pissed. So I wrote her back. I am not normally so quick to complain, however it was the middle of a very emotionally unsettling personal life week for me:

Hi Wille-
I am extremely unhappy about the dish. That is an understatement. At minimum, I will need something in writing releasing myself, kaytelin, and any other guest on the property from being liable for damage caused to the dish. My daughter is a child and I can just see her hitting it with a ball, etc., and us getting sued for $5000 or however much one of those things cost.
The great side yard was alot of the appeal of the outside of the home, a big deciding factor for us was the combination of the yard and the presence of that sweet kid next door, and now with this big junky clucky thing in the middle of the yard, well, i am just too upset actually figure out how to solve this problem. I can tell I will not sleep well tonight.
Are there any other options? The house is already wired for Comcast service. I do not see why the property I am renting should be changed by someone who lives elsewhere. What makes sense to me is this: If you cant get service in your own space, then I guess you arent getting satellite.
Wille, I hate to be complaining about this as I am typically an upbeat, positive problem-solver. But this has me very upset.
Are you sure every other option has been tried and disregarded? There has to be another way.
Leslie

I received the following response:

Good morning Leslie,
I am sorry that this is so upsetting to you but there really is no other way. Believe me I tried. The dish is right next to the tree, on the property line, so it is not quite all by itself. There still is plenty of side yard to play in and if you want something in writing that is fine. If you want to change your mind about the whole deal, that is fine too. It is not nice to live in a place you are not happy with.
Just let me know very shortly.
And please don't loose sleep over this...................
Take care,
Wille

I thought about what to do and talked to my boss and a couple other folks and friends about it and they all agreed that it sucked but I made the following decision:

Good Evening Wille-
I chewed on this all last night and today. In fact I thought about it so much last night I overslept this morning and was late for work!!! . If you say you have exhausted all other options, then I believe you. I am going to have to figure out how to accept it, but I can. I think overall the benefits of the place still outweigh the drawbacks... is there a way to surround it to the tree? My main concerns about this are A: property damage, and B: Personal injury. I dont want either one to happen! If it can be fenced in such a way to alleviate those worries, I will be more than satisfied. Thank you for listening to my troubles on this matter.
Leslie

We shall see what happens. It will be very unfortunate when it gets hit by a ball and knocked out of commission right after we move in. Or someone steals it. Or it gets hit by a universal void. Or.... whatever else you can think of, Im taking suggestions. ;)

Today was rather strange

2007-05-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah. Work was okay but I was a little blue so I asked my boss to throw it at me and ummmm yeah she took that and cubed it and multiplied by sevenoogoldodecaplex (yes that is a real number.) So I worked my booty off which always feels good- a little challenging running up and down stairs and ladders in flip flops. I think I will need to wear sneakers tomorrow.
At lunch I went and got us all Frosties from Wendys and that was a perfect lunch on such a hot day. So work was good overall. I left five minutes early and go pick up kk from baseball, which because it was a short week, I had completely forgotten about until 2pm so she didnt have her mitt or anything. Bad mom moment. Anyways so I picked her up from baseball and there had been an unfortunate incident brought to my attention from her teacher via email earlier that day that we had to speak about. Speaking was actually the problem. That girl will not shut up during class. So I had her write her 20 sentences and let her know that the possibility of getting a trampoline this summer would be nill if I received one more email like that. We will see if that works at all.
We went and cashed my check and got ice cream- then went over to katey and ernies house for a bit, then went to my blood pressure check appointment... and I passed! So what that means is I dont have to go back to that horrid wretched place for a year. Awesome.
We went and grabbed a bite to eat then headed to TJMaxx looking for a new pair of inexpensive, comfortable, but cute and sensible shoes for work. When it was time to go, the woman in line in front of me forgot her wallet in the car. Oh wait, no she didnt, here it is. But her credit card is not there, its in the car so she will be right back. But wait she thinks she has $5 cash in her purse. Oh no, she was wrong, so she needs to go back out to the car. Sigh. So she runs out to her car and her daughter waits there, but the cashier motions for me and kk to come forward, I say something jokingly about I brought my money into the store with me because I knew I would use it (haha) thinking nothing of the comment. So kk and I pay and leave the store. We get out to the car and are about to get in the car when I hear a bunch of honking. I turn around to see what is going on and see a truck back right into a car which was already in the middle of the row with a huge CRUNCH.
Yikes.
The old man driving the car who had already backed out and was honking got out of his camry and started yelling and swearing at the younger male driver of the truck that was at fault. Cutie-pie truck driver didnt have much to say. Two little scratches on the truck and a BIG dent in the back of the camry. I went over and gave my name and phone number to the old camry guy (not the truck hottie, darnit) in case his insurance needed a witness because i literally saw and heard everything, and because insurance companys suck ass. Anyways so i was on my way back to the car and from across that section of parking lot I hear "theres that girl, like she never forgot her credit car in the car" from ms. forgetful from ten minutes ago at tjmaxx. WTF? Is she really so mad she has to talk trash with both of our kids around? I said something jokingly, and not even to her, so her loudmouth little brat must have spun whatever I said. Anyways I jsut looked at her like she was nuts, asked her if she had something to say to me, and she jsut walked away. I hope Im not angry and bitter like that when im 45. Wait- who am I kidding? One more heartbreak and it will turn black and fall out LOL
OK so then we leave the parking lot and are driving away when who jaywalks right in front of us but cranky old bat and her snotty brat daughter. So since she walks right in front of me and even though it is jaywalking it would be illegal to hit her, she slows down and takes her sweet time. So since I have all my windows down I say loudly "take all the time you need to waddle across the street sister, I have all day" and she shoots me a dirty look and continues into target. Yes she drove from TJMaxx to Target even though the stores are only one store apart and it wasnt even raining. So that was the end of that. Homeward Bound.
Home. My refuge. Except it is torn all apart packing everything and sorting into keep, toss, or garage sale. What is wrong with me that I would go buy something more to bring into this mess? I dont blame men for not being able to understand women- I dont freaking understand myself most of the time either.
So tonight I am watching the Shear Genius finale on Bravo, packing, talking on the phone, and wishing I could go back a month in time and un-do something I did. Maybe then I would still be the girl who got to feel the joy of an unexpected "jsut crawled into bed- miss you" text.
Someday. Sad doesnt last that long, it just sucks to be in the middle of it.